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Disappointment
here's the story. im a lesbian, but my family has yet to find out. they have no idea and i want to tell them, but i cant. i know theyll still love me, but i know how much of a disappointment that will be for them(my parents). ive made them happy so many ways, and they said theyre proud to have me as their daughter. and they keep talking about when im going to be a mother some day, and how excited they are because they know theyll be grandparents one day, but thats where i know im going to disappoint them. because theyre not going to get to see their grandchildren.. because.. there wont be any. i REALLY dont want to disappoint them, but i know i will once they find out that the family line ends with me (since i dont have brothers or sisters). so i dont know what to do, i dont want to force myself to be straight, but i dont want to let them down also. i really dont know what to do, ive cried over this situation so much because i can picture their disappointment once they find out.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Your parents will love you no matter what happens. They might have an idea that you might be a lesbian, or they wouldn't be pushing the issue. You cannot be someone you are not. Yes, you can have children, but not if you don't wish to have them.
It sounds to me like you do really need to talk to them if it is upsetting. If you hold things inside too long, you will become morose and angry and not fun to be around. It won't be easy, but you will have to tell them sometime.
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Well you are going to have to tell them one day or another. Its better to let them know now so that in the future they already know. If you don't tell them its going to make it a lot harder for them to understand later on, and who knows they might understand no matter what. So tell them the sooner they know the better off all of you are.
Cspinoza1
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If it makes you feel any better, plenty of lesbians have kids. Their own biological children, even -- all it takes is a sperm bank. (One of my good friends is a lesbian who went this route, and her daughter is now almost four and the cutest, sweetest, smartest little kid you ever saw. And her grandparents adore her, naturally.) Adoption is another excellent possibility, of course.
So if you *want* to be a mother someday, you certainly have options; and if this is, in fact, the only thing preventing you from telling your parents, you can relax a bit. (If, though, you still don't feel ready to have that conversation, don't beat yourself up too much -- you may just not be at that point yet, and that's perfectly okay.)
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I don't think you should tell them yet. I know the subject keeps coming up about children and grandchildren, and they are probably picturing you happily married, but I would not confront them yet.
You don't say how old you are. I think as time goes by things will happen that will give them a little more preparation for this converstion. For example, you may develope a close relationship with another woman, and move out of your parents home, and in with her. I think if you give it time it will be easier for both you and your parents.
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You shouldn't force yourself to be somebody you're not. It's obvious that you're not ready to tell your parents who you really are. What's the rush? Take things slow and maybe throw in a little hint once in a while to show them who you really are. There are other great things in life other than having kids of your own so please don't feel bad that you'll never ever gonna give your parents grand children - there are other things you could offer them. In the meantime, what they don't know won't hurt...I'm sure as time pass by you'll someday find the courage to come out in the open to you parents.
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Maybe you can adopt one, even though I am one to disaprove of "gays" and "lesbians". Not meaning I dont like you though, I just dont like it. Anyways, think it over for a wile. Adoptionion is always a good thing.
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