I am a wife and a mother of three grown sons. I live in New York and am an equestrian. Most of my free time is spent riding and caring for my horses now that my sons are out of the house.
I give down to earth advice, as I tell it like I see it...and I've seen alot.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Member Since: January 17, 2009
Answers: 281
Last Update: September 11, 2011
Visitors: 18887
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Okay so for 6 days (since friday) I've had congestion, cough, fever, you know all that good stuff that comes with the flu. Three days into it, however, my right eye started to ache when I move it the the sides, up, or down. Today I woke up and basically all my flu symptoms are practically gone except I still have that damn eye pain. I asked my doctor if I have a sinus infection but he said no. What is this eye pain from? If it matters, my right nostril is really the only one that's congested. (It's my right eye that aches, once again.) (link)
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If you're still congested, then it's the pressure from the fluid in your sinuses. You don't necessarily have to have a sinus infection to have eye pain. Pressure can and does cause eye pain. If you take a decongestant it will dry up the fluid and relieve the pain. You don't have to be stuffed up to have congestion. You can sometimes breathe freely and still have fluid in your sinuses.
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OK here goes nothing. I am 39 years old and my father has not been in my life for many years. But tonight i find myself physically crying and wondering why he still doesnt want to be a part of my life. From the time i was 2 when he left my mother and my sister and me he was never there till i had my first child at 25. After a few months of thinking everything was good he just stopped calling or coming around. So the ultimate question is why do i still miss him and should it still hurt to think that someday i would get a Hey i'm proud of you from him. This just hurts so much right now. (link)
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Judging from what you say here about your father, he has serious issues....can't take on the responsibility of his actions and is, overall, very immature. He probably didn't have much of a family life himself, growing up and doesn't know how to relate to family.
That said...it's very natural to feel as you do. You are longing for that father figure you never had and when he does show up, you feel you finally have made that much needed connection, only to be let down again, and it is a huge letdown to know that the void you thought he would fill is going to remain empty.
You will have to deal with your feelings on this because he, most likely, will never come around. He needs a psychiatrist and it may not hurt you to get counseling to deal with the hard blows this man has caused you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. As we get older, we tend to reflect even more.
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does anyone know where i can get a free 1800 number cuz they are too expensive (link)
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There is no such thing as a free 800 number.
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My birthday is this weekend, February 20, and I'm turning eighteen. I originally wasn't going to have a party, I was just going to have two friends sleep over and my Mom was going to get us some alcohol but only one of my friends can come and I'm still going to do that on Friday night but I wanted to do something Saturday with some of my other friends that I'm not as close with but I didn't know what to do.
I was going to try renting an indoor or heated pool but I can't find any place that I'd be able to rent one from.
Most of my friends are younger than me so I can't really do anything that you'd have to be eighteen for.
Any suggestions are welcome.
Oh, I'm a girl and I live in Florida. (link)
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How about horseback riding? I suggest that because that's my love! Trail riding can be so much fun.
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i have a dell all in one photo 926 printer. it does fax, copys, scans, and prints. recently, it has not been scanning or copying. it still prints fine though. i have never tried the fax because i have no need for that, but i really need to scanner and copier. what could be wrong to make the scanner and copier not work and how can i fix it? ive tried unplugging all the cords and using compressed air to blow any dust out, but that did nothing. any ideas will help! thanks=] (link)
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You may have a software issue. Basically, I believe you have to clear out the software and re-install it. Dell has a website that you can use to troubleshoot, but, ofcourse, these things are never easy unless you're a techie!
Give them a try, if it doesn't work, then bring it in for maintenance.
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I'm 15 and I really would like someone to tell me about some artists of classical music that gets your heart racing. like at the beginning it kinda soft and then it goes into making your heart beat faster. or another is fine, but i just got into classical music so i don't know a whole lot about good artists or anything. can someone please help me?
Ps: I don't really like the whole fairy classical one like "the four seasons" but if you have another that would be very helpful! (link)
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Tchaicovsky's 1812 Overture
Rossini's William Tell Overture
These two are starter symphony pieces. There are countless more.
Rossini's Barber of Seville is an outstanding opera and one that will "make your heart beat faster". You may feel opera isn't your thing, but, this one is alot of fun!
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sometimes i wake up in the morning and my face looks more bloated than other days? like it looks freaking fat! what can i do if this happens to reduce it before the time i have to go to school? i have about an hour and a half. is there any way to reduce my bloatedness whenever this happens? (link)
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You don't say how long you've had the condition. There are any number of reasons for facial swelling. Could be from allergies. You should speak to your doctor about it. Is there swelling anywhere else, particularly your ankles, or just your face?
Fluid is collecting in your face at night and in the morning your face is swollen from it. You could try sleeping with your head in a higher position so the fluid drains. Other than that, you just have to wait till it drains in the morning. Perhaps a wash cloth soaked in cold water will help the swelling go down. You could also cut down on your salt intake as salt causes water retention.
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Well, I have lived in a marriage for 28 years. It has been very rocky since day one. I have learned that my spouse cannot have intimacy. I have known this for some time. We have had counceling(one year) and it was getting better, but now, he is back in is shell again. We have never had intimacy, Only sex sometimes, usually none, and now, none for 3 years. He is a good person, I guess this is why I have stayed. I have left 3 times and go back. I am so so so lonely, I dream of being happy. I dream of being with someone that I can laugh with and cry with. I feel I am to old now, at 52 and female, to be starting over. I guess I feel bad for him. We have nothing in common, and all these years, I have lived the most lonliest life ever. He is a hard worker, but that is all. (link)
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After all these years, he's unlikely to change. It's entirely up to you to decide whether or not you will continue to live like this.
That said...do you have a life outside the home? You don't say whether or not you work, have hobbies, friends, outside interests. Sometimes if you have other interests to occupy your time, emotions and mind, relationships can be more tolerable and can actually seem better than previously thought. Sometimes that longing for intimacy can be completely erased when you find something else (not another man) to replace it. An interest that becomes a passion.
If you're set on staying in the marriage, then I think you must accept your husband for who he is and move your own life in a positive direction. Don't have a victim mentality. Your life does not have to revolve around this issue. Go out and make an exciting, fulfilling life for yourself. After all, life is so much more than the man in your living room.
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okay so i'm 17 years old 5'3 in height and weigh 120 pounds. im not fat at all or anything but during the summer i weighed 110. i was pretty skinny and fit mostly because i was really active and constantly busy! but since school started and with it getting cold i'm not as active and i probably eat more and ive gained 10 pounds! most people say they cant even tell, but i can tell that my thighs are bigger. i cant fit in my size 1 jeans anymore! but i would like to lose some of the fat that ive gained, get down to about 112. anyways i just got a membership at the gym and i plan to run 30 minutes everyday. i also just got a new job hostessing which i plan to be working a lot so im sure ill be a lot more active than ive been! i probably wont cut junk out completely, but im going to try to only have it maybe every other day (dont tell me its unhealthy im not stupid, but hey im a kid!) if i keep this up how long do you think it will take to lose 7 pounds?! (link)
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One pound equals 3500 calories. That means you have added 3500 calories to your diet or haven't burned 3500 calories, for every pound you've gained.
So...you've added 35,000 calories which have not been burned off. You would need to reduce your daily caloric intake to lose weight. I'd say if you shave off 300-500 calories a day, you will lose 7lbs. in about a week or two. You can either exercise it off (but don't eat it back on!) or just cut the calories in your daily eating routine.
7lbs.! Wish I had your problems!
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okay, i have been dating this guy(mark) for about 4 months now and i dated him for about 4 months a year and a half ago. im going to discribe him, and some things he does and how he makes me feel and stuff, and i want help if i should stay with him because, after we broke up i dated this guy(Alan) for 8 months and it was perfect.. just read on
- Mark got me to cheat on Alan with him when mark dumped his girlfriend.
- Mark cheated on me with my cousin and stayed with her for a year and a month.
- Mark wont get a job because he says " he doesn't no how to do anything" he did graduate from high school, but he has a social problem..
- Mark smokes about an 8th of weed every 2 days..
- If i want sex Mark says sometimes "only if you smoke with me first(then he says Just Kidding)
- Sometimes Mark gets mad about nothing like this past weekend he was sitting on my couch nothing like bad happened we were watching tv and out of no where he got mad and says it feels like you don't love me anymore.. it took me over an hour to get it out of him what was wrong.. he said it was because i don't kiss him anymore or hold his hand.. i hold his hand and kiss him nonstop.
- he gets jealous ALL the time, im still friends with Alan and so i talk to him on the computer if he sees me talking to him or any guy he gets mad.
- I lost my virginity to Mark, and he was my first love.
- he always tells me im pretty and he loves me more then anything and never wants to lose me
- he says cute little things all the time
- he picks me up everyday afterschool at the bustop and i go to his house
- friday he comes to my house untill monday so i see him everyday
- i love his family to death there amazing
- his sister is my best friend
now alan
- i fell in love with him we dated 8 months he loved me, i broke his heart when i broke up with him
- i only saw him outside school once or twice a month or every other month if that
- his parents don't like me, there really strict
- he has a job and car
- i can tell he could care less about sex, compared to mark who wants it all the time(not saying i don't like it..)
- alan and i never fought not once that whole 8 months except when i broke up with him
- he works a lot
- his siblings don't really like me
- he made me feel amazing always telling me he loved me
- i went on vacation with him, and vise versa
- i took his virginity
now i am so lost, i no this is a desprite thing to do, ask strangers but if you took the time to read this i apprecate it im going through a lot right now and i just need help i feel like i CANT break up with Mark even though i still love alan and think about him, but i love mark just the same... HELP!
mark= 19 years old
me= 16 years old
alan= 17 years old
(link)
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Mark won't be going anywhere soon and he's got emotional problems, something that I don't think you are prepared to handle.
Alan sounds like a great guy, but his family doesn't like you. Why? What is it about you that they don't like? They may have very high standards for their son and feel you don't have the same standards. They certainly have influence over their son and it sounds to me like they've done a very good job raising him.
Here's the advice...drop Mark. Emotional problems, combined with the fact that he smokes pot and had sex with you (at 16, no less), plus, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations with a minor.
If you want to get on Alan's parents good side, I would not sleep with Alan. In his world, girls who do that are not respected, no matter how much he says he loves you, you will be replaced at some point. So turn a new leaf.
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In my apartment complex where I live for 18 yrs, I met an older lady about 6 yrs ago. I have been pretty close to her...she says friends, I think neighbor. I live alone, divorced, no kids. She was married 46 yrs, 3 kids, doctors etc... she has a good financial situation when her husband passed, I live on ssdi right now. It's not about money...she does alot with her kids, grandkids, I am always alone. I have alot of health problems but she doesn't believe me cause "I look so good".
She demands my time, makes me feel guilty if I don't feel well, basically she doesn't believe me so, again, makes me feel guilty for not being there for her whenever she wants. And when I start spending more time with her, then she says I'm bugging her too much. She doesn't ever want to here anything negative, bad news, just wants me to be her little susie sunshine. I'm facing great health problems,cancer and more. I really would like to "drop her" as a friend and just be cordial in meeting...the store etc...but I was brought up to respect my elders. What should I do? (link)
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I had a similar situation many years back. A woman who befriended me because I was very nice to her got a little too attached for my comfort, to the point of showing up at my door at 8am every morning. It didn't start off that way, but it graduated to that. I had told her many times she should call before coming and that 8 am was just too early for me, but...she didn't stop. It actually got creepy.
Obviously, her company is grating on your nerves, and I can see why. Some people are self serving. They find it hard to think about anyone but themselves. Make yourself scarce. Don't answer your phone or door if you don't want to get together with her at any particular time or go out and tell her you can't you have a million things to do. I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all. This has nothing to do with respect. You've been respectful, she hasn't. Anyway, she's a little old for you to have too much in common with her and an occasional cup of coffee together would be fine, if you choose, but people like that don't always know the boundaries. You don't owe her your undying friendship. The more scarce you make yourself, the easier it will be for you to do again and you will have a sense of relief.
I wish you well.
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I have a light blue bedroom with black and white curtains (zeus print from target, sorry i coudnt post the link) and a white iron bed- http://www.antiques-atlas.com/dealer-stock-images/barclay/as037a373b.jpg . my bookshelf and dresser are just wood, but i was thinking of painting them to match my room. Any suggestions for wall decals, bedding, ect? (link)
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Yellow would be beautiful for the bedding. Maybe with white or blue throw pillows. Instead of decals, perhaps a large floral painting or picture with a black frame to pull the black from your curtains into the room.
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hi to all the wise advisors there.
i just want to ask if there is some software with which i can extract the background music of any song because i am going try a song on stage and its not good without the same music.
or is there any site from which i can get popular background musics. please help! (link)
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You could buy Karaoke music. As far as extracting, you would need all kinds of equipment to do that, and it gets pretty expensive. Karaoke does that for you.
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My father left us Jan 2008. Him and my mother alwasy had issues but he officially took his stuff and left. He has slept in shelters, gone out with random women, put his name in the newspaper statign he was looking for a women. He left us with over 20 K in debt and now we have to go bankrupt because we dont have enough income. I REALLY want to go to school, and I have applied but recently I have had to support me and my mother with food and rent and so have of my savings are gone. Ive asked him for money and he says that if it will in any way help my mother he isnt giving me anything. I tried to keep a relationship (we never had a great relationship but he is a sweet funny man and he never wanted to harm anyone) When I think of him leaving all I remember is his smile and laughter, I dont even think of the arguements my parents used to have that would keep me up at 3 am. When I think about him leaving Its good because him and my motehr can move on, but I do miss having my father around, I dont want to ahve to choose between both parents but they arent leaving me any choice, I am gonna get married one day and I wont even be able to invite my own father, because I knwo it will cause alot of drama. I know you may say, its your wedding and your parents should put there differences aside, but they arent like that. I dont know what to do, he keeps calling me and I dont alwasy answer, I don't know what to say! I feel so angry at him but i still want to have a father. My sister cut all ties with him and she just recently moved out. My mother says she doesnt care if i talk to him but I know she does. I don't know how to talk to my dad becasue he is so stubborn, if you say something he doesnt want to hear he will get angry at you and not speak for weeks and then call and cry and apologize. I'm sick of my family and I am getting more stressed about my family and my financially situation more and more! WHAT DO I DO? (link)
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You don't say how old you are or what state you're from. If you are a minor, your father must pay child support. Your mother should go after your father for that support. Is some states your father would have to help pay for your college, too. Your mother isn't doing right by allowing him to skate. She needs to get to a lawyer so she can collect child support, especially since she is bankrupt. The court would force payments. Then again, if he doesn't work, that's like getting blood out of a stone.
Perhaps you could write him a letter. Make a list of the issues that you would like to convey to him. Everything from....1. Your need to eat, because you're hungry. 2. Your desire to go to college. 3. Your desire for him to be at your wedding someday. 4. Your need for a father. etc.
Then explain how his actions hurt and anger you and consume all your thoughts. Tell him this is no way for a young person to live and that you need your father and want your father in your life. I'd lay it all on the table, including the fact that he has an anger problem and obviously, other issues, too, but that should never be an excuse for abandoning your children. Ask him if he thinks it's acceptable to let his children go hungry in order to spite their mother? Who is the child here?
All you can do is reach out in this letter. The rest is up to him, and your mother.
I know it's very hard for you to go through this. This is not acceptable behavior on his part, nor is it acceptable behavior on your mothers part. Unfortunately, you are caught in the crossfire.
Good luck to you.
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I would like to start off by saying that I only want responces from breeders, animal rescuers and people of like nature.
This is what happened. I have had my love bird for just over a month. In that time she has become a very loved and close part of the family (I and my husband). Recently, there was a dog that came to our home. Our Upstairs neighbor said that it was a very friendly and gentil dog that belonged to a lady up the road, that is a little off maybe, and she would not put in the affection that the dog required. So the dog would go to neighbors and stay at different ones houses for periods of time. Well I LOVE ANIMALS. So first we would hang out for the evening and then once I realized she was gentil and quiet, after consulting my neighbor, I took the time to let her sleep in the house, because we live in idaho and it is the middle of winter right now and it is amazing the dog hasn't been frost bitten. I proceeded to get her some dog food etc. I was keeping my lovebird Arina in the cage while the dog was around so that it could grow to know her. I did not do this out of complete ignorance, because I did a lot of research in the past before I got the bird and everyone that I spoke with, in person and online that had multiple types of animals, said that they live together in harmony and there is no problem. I even saw videos on YouTube of birds sitting on cat's and playing with dogs. This was not an aggressive dog. The only thing of concern that happened was that I saw the dog catch a mouse and eat it. Now I understood this behavior, because the dog is out there during the day fending for it's self. The reason why I let it slide is because I read that many people's animals keep their animal instinct, but do not exhibit that behavior towards the family animals. No matter how small. Anyway, I decided to take the bird and put it on my shoulder to visit our neighbor because it was squawking very loud and my husband was sleeping before work. I took her out and everything was fine, the dog and my neighbor's dog were both calm, and as I was about to take her back in the house, she flew off of my shoulder, and in a split second, the stranger dog lunged at her and grabbed her in it's mouth and i surley think it would have eaten her if it hadn't been for both of us ladies yelling and lunging at it to stop. Natuurally we kicked the dog out, and now I feel aweful, because he is sleeping outside. :( I know it wasn't deliberate, he was just doing what was natural to him. But here is the issue I have. I always saw my self as someone having many animals in the future, all different sorts living together in the same home. I see these people that rais Wild Animals like tigers and such that have birds and cats and children and they all play out in the open together in the living room, all coming into contact with each other at different stages in their lives. Where did I go wrong? What are these people doing that I did not do? What does one have to do to have these different types of animals living together. What is it that keeps the peace? Are there certain breeds that are more prone to get along with different animals. My husband had a cat, and that cat started living with him and his parents who have a dog...they chase each other sometimes, but they can be left alone together in the house and they do not kill each other. That dog did not grow up with cats or anything. What steps should I take now when deciding on getting multiple pets in the future? I don't want to have to keep them all in cages and in seperate rooms. What can I do? Thank you for your advice. (link)
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I've had dogs that were very friendly with other animals and others who were not. Some dogs have very high prey instincts which cannot always be trained out of them. For example...I presently have a very large German Shepherd. He's an angel, not at all destructive, doesn't wander, comes when called. His manners are impeccable. Yet, the sight of an animal, especially a moving animal and particularly running, sets off his prey drive. He will not stop until he "tackles" the animal. If he encounters a large animal, he'll tussle with it until it submits, belly up, then he'll let it go. On the other hand, if a chipmunk happens to be his target, he'll go for it and the outcome isn't very good because a swipe of his paw or a nip from his teeth will be fatal. I also have horses. They get along fine with dogs, but, again, my shepherd cannot be allowed near them because he has a high prey drive and will chase them and attempt to bite them.
My point is, not all animals play well with others. Some need to be the only animal in a family. Certain breeds are much more docile than others. You should do a breed search and see which ones would suit you. Another thing you could do is learn whatever you can about animals, in general, so then when the time comes to bring two different species together, you'll have background information on which species will have the best chance of success.
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I have a difficult time remembering who has the right away when I'm driving. Can someone list as many as you can and explain who has the right away? (link)
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There are too many situations involved in determining right of way to list here. Go to your Dept. of Motor Vehicles and get a driving manual and study it. I would think that you would know this stuff if you are already driving. Did you not take a drivers test?
You really need to study the manual before you encounter a situation that could prove dangerous.
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There's this dude at my school. I really like him.
I get butterflies when ever I talk about him and
shit like that.
He sits pretty close to me at lunch, like about...
3 meters away (in another group) I always find
myself accidentally staring at him. And sometimes,
I find him staring at me.
Nobody but me thinks he's hot, he has extreme
acne, and he's not very attractive. But I think
he is.
We talk sometimes, but only like once or twice a
week. He beat up this dude for me because when we
were going out he use to abuse me. [:
So, I think he cares. Plus one of our neutral
friends told me "He said you're really cute and
hell funny."
Yeah... well. I know he likes me, because so many
people say so, even a teacher asked me if we were
going out! So, what I want to know is, how do I
work up the courage to ask him out or w/ever.
Help.
xx (link)
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I wouldn't ask him out. I would find a round about way of striking up a conversation with him. Before dating him, you need to get to know him somewhat. You like him from afar, right now. You might find, after getting to know him better, that he isn't right for you, so it's better to develop a friendship before a date. If you do this and it seems like you both feel there could be something between you, then he will ask you out.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsvTXLraE9w&feature=channel_page
Can someone PLEASE tell me what the chords are in that song? Its only like for chords, I assume, but Im so horrible at figureing that out.. :/ (link)
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Cute song and very simple.
GDCD goes on for a while till the change-CDCD then back to GDCD.
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so seriously can your skin, if it's like peeled off be placed back and have it heal just fine?
so this might sound insane lol
and if so..can u cut a slice of it and place it on a different part of your body?
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It's done all the time. Surgeons do it during some types of plastic surgery, on burn victims, skin cancer patients. It'll heal fine, if it's done correctly and doesn't become infected, but that doesn't mean you won't have scarring. It's called skin grafting. Do a search on it, I'm sure you'll find plenty of info.
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i am torn and have a really big decision to make. i am a sophomore in college.. a college which is 4 hours from my home. its hard being away from home because i love my family..and have an amazing job which i love, and gives me so much experience for my future career. i cannot decide whether i should stay at my current school, or transfer back home and go to the school near my house. they are equal in tuition, going to the school at home would mean i have a job, dont have to pay for housing or food, only tuition. staying at school out here will mean i may have a job (still looking for one), so much freedom (living in a house with my best friends) and i know this is the only time in my life that i will be able to party whenever i want and live with friends..basically not alot of responsibilities. i am not sure which is the best decision. if i transfer, there is a chance that all my credits will not transfer, and i will be stuck in school for longer. anyone have any advice? or even just your opinion.. put yourself in my shoes lol. id like to know what you would do. thanks
if it helps.. i am female and 20 years old =) (link)
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Well, your in school to get your degree. Although it's fun to party and be on your own, your number one purpose of being there is to get a degree. You need to find out if your credits will transfer or not. If not, how far will it set you back if you transfer? Find out these details and then make your decision. If transferring sets you back too long, I would suck it in and stay put.
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