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I miss my father...Why?
OK here goes nothing. I am 39 years old and my father has not been in my life for many years. But tonight i find myself physically crying and wondering why he still doesnt want to be a part of my life. From the time i was 2 when he left my mother and my sister and me he was never there till i had my first child at 25. After a few months of thinking everything was good he just stopped calling or coming around. So the ultimate question is why do i still miss him and should it still hurt to think that someday i would get a Hey i'm proud of you from him. This just hurts so much right now.
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Judging from what you say here about your father, he has serious issues....can't take on the responsibility of his actions and is, overall, very immature. He probably didn't have much of a family life himself, growing up and doesn't know how to relate to family.
That said...it's very natural to feel as you do. You are longing for that father figure you never had and when he does show up, you feel you finally have made that much needed connection, only to be let down again, and it is a huge letdown to know that the void you thought he would fill is going to remain empty.
You will have to deal with your feelings on this because he, most likely, will never come around. He needs a psychiatrist and it may not hurt you to get counseling to deal with the hard blows this man has caused you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. As we get older, we tend to reflect even more.
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You miss him beacuase he is your father, you do love him.It can still hurt yes. People who act like they don't care about an absent parent probably feel the exact same way and you are strong to addmitt it. It's a normal thing what you are going through right now. You should just think and tell yourself that if he won't be here for you then he's not worth the trouble of worrying over. He should be a better dad to you. Hope this helps. =]
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