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My Overbearing Mother :(( :(( :((
Actually I don't know if overbearing is the right word to describe my mum. The thing is, my mum is so hot headed, so sensitive that every time I do one little wrong thing, she always explodes. She gets mad unreasonably. I used to keep quiet every time she got mad, I would just keep quiet because if I spoke, she would get even more mad. I try my best to be a good daughter and to be less of a burden. I sacrificed so much so as not to be one of her problems. I even tried to kill myself because no matter what I do, she didn't appreciate and feel any sacrifice I've done which is why I'm good as dead. My theory is the reason why she's so hard on me is because she's doing her best to be a good mother and she's sacrificing too and all those things good mums try to do but I think this kind of gives her an idea that I have no right to feel resentful when she hurts me. I have no right to complain, to get angry and I only have the right to be grateful. I think this is unfair. I appreciate her being a good mother but it doesn't give her the reason to be hard on me. How do I confront a person like this, who, no matter what you tell her, she will let her pride prevail and always try to prove you wrong? Or is there really nothing I can do and just try to live with the kind of person she is? I really hope not because I'm really tired. My pride is dead, my chest is swollen, my friends are starting to hate me coz I never hang out with them, my life is practically ruined. Please help! :(( :(( and I really appreciate those who took the time to read this.
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I'm so sorry you having to go through this. It's not easy living with someone like that.
It sounds like your mother has been through some hard times in her life. She may have been treated the same exact way she is treating you and may not know any other way to act. Or, she may DEEPLY hurt in some way that has made her angry and hard. Either way, that does not make it right for her to treat you that way. You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness. And if you do something wrong, even then her discipline should be firm, not harsh, and with love.
I always feel that communication is the way to go because it's not healthy to suffer or keep things in. But in your case, I think if you want to talk to her about it, take along with you an another adult that you trust, and if possible, someone your mother knows and respects. Hopefully she will listen if another adult tells her how what she does makes you feel.
Otherwise, I think you should talk to someone regularly that you can unload all of your feelings on. (i.e. school counselor, therapist)It's not good for you to keep going through this alone. That's obvious since you are thinking of not living anymore.
Please do your best not to let what your mother does bring you so far down and take you away from your friends and happiness. I know it's hard, I went through something very similiar. It takes a lot of effort on your part to tell yourself that they way your mother is is NOT your fault and that you DO NOT deserve it. Because you love her it will make it harder for you to do that, but you MUST do it if you want to survive this.
Also, I don't know if you have a faith/religion, but pray is very powerful. If you choose to, be specific in your prayer and ask that you mother gets help for whatever is making her this way AND that you get help for having to suffer so much for all she does.
I hope it goes well for you.
And PLEASE, if you even think of killing yourself again, call 1-800-SUICIDE. You can talk to someone 24 hours a day if you need to. You can also go to the website hopeline.com They have advice on depression and other things.
Take care.
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Wow,that's pretty unfair.What about your father?Or any of your relatives?Talk to them and explain the problem.Or seek professional help.I wish I could help you personally to deal with your mom,but the best I do is tell you this-no human being is to be treated like dirt.As hard as it may be you need to fight for your rights with all you've got,even if it's your mother.I hope I helped.If you want,tell me in my inbox how it went.Good luck!
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