Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
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I'm 13/f. I just started middle school since i'm in hong kong and the whole school thing is different. So when i started school there was this girl who used to stick to me all the time and hold my arm and stuff like that. Then after a few days she stopped. then she started doing it to other people and i get jealous. and i always dream about her and think about her. i think i like her but i don't want to be a lesbian. like i get all shy around her and blush and brush my arm against her and stuff, and get really happy when she looks at me or talks to me.
but the problem is, she holds hands with different people all the time. i don't think its so serious, and i'm not planning to tell her i like her. but how can i forget about her? i really don't want to like her but i can't help it.
PLESE PLEASE PLEASE its been bothering me a lot and all i can think about and talk about is HER! i try to act like its nothing but i'm dying!! (link)
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So you don't know if you're a lesbien? Ask yourself if you like girl's bodies or if you want to touch girls and kiss them, not just this one girl, but pretty girls in general. Do you get feelings for boys most of the time or ever?
Being gay is something you're either born being or you're not, and just like straight people know they're straight when they're teenagers, gay teens know they're gay too.
I think, though, that you may be experiencing a girl crush. It's very, very common for young straight girls your age to get "crushes" on other girls.
Really explore your feelings and do some imagining. Does the idea of kissing girls (any girls, not just this girl) feel good or feel weird? Does the idea of kissing boys feel good or feel weird? What you may find is that your feelings towards this girl may just be about how great you think she is.
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So two weeks ago from today. I had sex with my boyfriend with a condom and it broke! He said he cummed in me and then after he realzied that it broke cause it felt too good. So then it broke. Then like a week later my nipples started hurting or sore if you may call it and then a day before my period my nipples started to NOT feel sore and the hurting kinda dissapeared.I was pretty sure I'd be pregnant but today i got my period and i know there's implantation bleeding, buti was pretty sure i got my period cause it is really heavy so i dont think its that, i think its a miscarrage ive had cramps all day they come and go, and ive been excersizing really hard, cause i have rotc and i excersize alot in that class. But i have'nt taken a pregnacy test cause i have'nt had the time. & i don't have the money yet and i could'nt get the emergency pills cause its 40 bucks! So this time i coudl'nt get them. But is it possible i have a miscarriage? after two weeks after sex (i got my period the exact day i was suppost to get it)
& i've also heard that you can still get your period and be pregnant so im so confused. (link)
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If you had sex two weeks ago and you had your period and it was heavy then you are not pregnant. Women's hormones fluctuate sometimes and every now due to a change in diet or exercise or stress and then we occasionally have a rough time of the month.
You also probably didn't miscarry. Your period was not late so it's highly, highly unlikely that you were ever pregnant at all. Heavy flow and cramps happen, as do changes in nipple sensitivity.
While it is possible to have some light spotting during pregnancy, that is not what you have described. Light pregnancy spotting isn't heavy and doesn't come right on time. Your doctor can probably explain this in full to you.
I would also advise talking to your doctor about birth control. While it may be expensive, it's nothing compared to the overwhelming financial and emotional costs that an unwanted pregnancy would bring you. This scare you've had may be the sign that it's time for you to take control over your reproductive health. Condoms are great, but yes, they break.
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Hi i have a problem them i know is not normal but i dont know what to do about it when i make out with my GF i get a boner and then orgasm a real short time later. dose anyone else have this problem. how can i stop this? were both 16. (link)
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This is likely happening because you're young and inexperienced. Lots of teenage boys go through this. The best thing you can do in this situation is to masturbate before you see her.
Also, when you masturbate stop yourself before ejaculation and wait until you can resume without ejaculating yet. Repeat this a few times. This will train you to pace yourself, take your time and delay your orgasm.
Also, when you're making out with your girlfriend and you feel like you're getting too excited, stop for a bit and calm down. I don't know if you two are into oral sex together or not or if you do manual stimulation, but if so this would be the perfect time to focus on her sexual enjoyment. You'll be so busy learning how to give her an orgasm, you likely won't be on the verge of having one yourself.
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So i have been going out with this guy for about 5 months now, and hes my first boyfriend. I never pictured myself going out with a boy for 5 months when im 13. I can still stay in this relationship, but has it been too long? But i really love him. I was telling my friend the other day that i want to break up with him just becuase we are going out for a long time. She said to do whatever i want. But im really stressed about it and asking myself so many questions! Like, what if another boy likes me but isnt going to show it because im already going out with someone? Will he get mad at me for breaking up with him because its for a stupid reason? So just a little bit of suggestions would help! thanks in advanced =] (link)
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If you don't want to go out with your boyfriend anymore then you don't have to. It's very normal for young relationships like yours to not last very long and it's natural you'd be curious about who else is out there.
If you'd rather be with another boy or single instead of with your boyfriend then that is a good enough reason to break up.
It's important when you're 13 to not get too serious with a boy because you're new to love and dating and it's healthy to take things slow and casual.
But just so you know, anyone you ever break up with will be mad at you for it. No one likes being rejected. But that's part of life. Some times you'll get dumped and other times you'll do the dumping. Just be kind about it and tell him you're ready to end the relationship because your feelings have changed.
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when a boy finger's you for the first time..
will it hurt? also wouldnt it be awkward like what are you suppose to do when he's doing that and why does it seem like thats what boys always want to do, they try to go down your pants first?! also isnt it weird when a girl gets wet. i get wet easily, keep in mind ive never had sex or really dont anything physical except kiss guys. but this guy i like, when he rubs me or tries to get down my pants i get really wet and i hate it! i feel kind of embarassed and also it feels disgusting and he doesnt know im wet either because i always push his hand away, because im scared for him to finger me and since i shave down there its not always completely smooth so i always wonder what he is going to think, like gross! or what? (link)
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First of all, don't be embarrassed. Women get wet. This is a very good thing because when you are ready to have sex, it means that you will be lubricated properly, making the sex comfortable and pleasurable.
Secondly, do not worry about the guy thinking there is something wrong with you. He'll only think he's turning you on and arousing you, which is going to boost his ego.
Thirdly, allow yourself to enjoy his touch. See, you need to learn what you enjoy and allowing your boyfriend to touch you is a great and safe way for you to figure that out. No pregnancy, no STDs, just pleasure.
Here's the thing: make sure you tell him if you want him to go slower or faster or gentler or harder or move his fingers in a certain way. Why? So he can get better at making you feel good. The only reason to let a guy touch your vagina is because you like it and it feels nice.
I am a little concerned about the fact you're shaving off your pubic hair and you're scared about your wetness. It sounds like you are not comfortable with your body. Trust me 100% on this-- males love the female body. LOVE it. They love the wetness, the smell, the look and the feel of it. Do not be ashamed. Your vagina is just fine the way it is, hair or no hair. Any guy that can't handle a little hair isn't worth bothering with because he should feel lucky you're letting him touch you at all.
I'm guessing you're a teenager. You don't know yet how much power your body has yet, how good it can feel, how good you can make a male feel.
Having said all that, make your boyfriend take it as slow as you need him to go. If you're not ready for him to touch your genitals yet, let him know. If he doesn't like it, too bad. The female gets to choose what happens sexually. If you don't put the brakes on, he sure won't. Know that any guy who won't take it as slow as you want and leaves, there's PLENTY of other guys who will be willing to take his place. Know your worth.
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i met a guy at a training class and he seemed like he liked me.
the last day of training came and he kept giving me hugs and when i was in the store with him before we were about to leave and both head home he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big hug and it felt so perfect.
he was really flirty and often asked me when i was gonna come visit him since he lives an hour away. we exchanged numbers and its been 3 weeks since i saw him. we dont talk much but the other day we were textng and i felt like he still liked me cause he was like yea i miss those cute eyes blah blah so the next day i was like... "hey i like you" and he didnt say he liked me back!!! he was like no you dont you dont know me. im soooooo confused i thought he liked me. and now i feel like an idiot and yesterday (following day) he texted me and i was like dang seems like you dont want to talk to me anymore and he was like no. and today he didnt even text me or anything. i feel so confused. was he just a big flirt???? or maybe did i scare him??? please help!
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If he were interested he would have called you by now and asked you out. If he was really into he would want to get in there and make his interest known to you so that he could date the fabulous you before another guy got in there.
Men who are really attracted to women don't send random text messages and then ignore the lady for long periods of time. I think he was just amusing himself in the moment and has no real interest in you.
My advice is to delete his phone number and keep your eyes open for other men who are more on the ball. You can't convince a man to like you. They're pretty forward creatures. They either want to date you or they don't.
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my boyfriend and i talk on the phone A LOT. mostly because he wants to. i have never been the one to talk on the phone a whole lot. but there will be awkward silences and stuff. and he always is the one to think of stuff to talk about. can somebody give me ideas of what to talk about BESIDES: what we want to do next time we see eachother, what we want in life, our past, and what we did that day! i mean. theres not much else to talk about. and sometimes he will be like "baby i'm horny" and it gets all awkward and i don't know what to say to that to make it now awkward! and i can't stop him from saying that because according to him he should "be able to tell his girlfriend his mental and physical needs without it being awkward". so i asked him what does he want me to say to that kind of stuff and he doesn't give me a straight answer.
thanks! (link)
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My advice is this: be firm about not allowing your phone calls to go over 20 minutes and not more than once a day. Calls can be great for checking in, but if you're not a phone person, it's perfectly acceptable to uphold those boundaries. Cutting off all phone contact is excessive, but so is talking on the phone so much you're running out of material.
As for the horny phone calls, I would suggest you be firm about this. Your sexuality and comfort should not be compromised. Do you make room in your relationship to talk about sex in person? If so, ask him to talk about his feelings to you then and not over the phone.
You didn't state how old you were, but if you're not sexually active yet, even more reason to let him know his conversation is making you feel ill at ease.
There comes a time in every young woman's life where she needs to make small stands for herself and if one of them is reclaiming some of your life back to spend NOT on the phone and NOT hearing him talk about his horniness, then so be it. This is good practice for all the other times in your life where you will have to say no to a man in order to be true to yourself.
So how to be firm about not talking on the phone? Just tell him you have to go and you're looking forward to seeing him next. Trust on this one too, not being available all the time to talk on the phone will increase his interest in you, not decrease it.
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