rick505's advice column

askrick505

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: well me and my boyfriend have been together for three months now and we've had sex a few times. the last time we weren't planning on having sex so we didn't have a condom with us but im on the pill so i didn't think it mattered. but i had missed taking it two days before. we've continued to have sex since then but i've missed two periods. do you think im pregnant?
i daren't take a test, i jsut don't know what to tell my boyfriend if i am.

you may be pregnant and you need to find out for sure because it is not healthy to keep taking the pill if you are. The general rule with birth control pills is that if you miss one pill you have to wait a week of taking it everyday before your safe and if you miss more than one you wait till one week into the next months pack. but get tested soon cause you need to stop taking them if you are pregnant.

Q: whats an orgasm?

it's a little bit different for men and women but it's moslty a muscle reaction in the body with a simultaneous release of pleasure inducing chemicals in the brain that happens usually with the stimulation of sexual organs. It is truly a brain spasm since it can happen with no physical contact whatsoever.

Q: haha okay this sounds wicked gayy but like you know how if your spanish when you have a baby and you speak spanish it picks up that language and then like if you move to ameica and they speak english they know how to speak both? well like if there is a baby raised by wolfes does it understand how to speak to animals? cus my dad told me that they found someone raised by wolves and they had to teach him how to be a human when he was like 7 and i want to know if anyone knows who this is becasue i want to know if like he could still speak to wolfes i looked it up on google but got nothing

i rate high please help [:

if you want details look at the previous poster. but to answer the question , no he cannot speak to wolves since wolves dont have a language. now that doesnt mean they dont communicate but they dont speak as i am speaking to you. and your google search will work better if you spell wolfes as wolves.

Q: i have just got a mortgage accepted and put an offer on a house on the merit of me having a 6 figure deposit which i thought i had. Unfortunately, the money is held up in the litigation department of a third party solicitors and may take several months. I have a letter to say that on completion i will receive the money but i need it now. Is there anywhere i can loan the money on the basis of a solicitors letter ?

yes. there are loan companies that will advance money on a solicitors letter . the best way to find one is to talk to the solicitor in question. alot of times they can advance money they know is coming through and if not then ask them to recommend a financial instution because any group willing to loan the money needs to research the solicitor and if they already know each other the process is quicker.

Q: i need the english translation for the phase you say to become muslim. it's something about mohammad (PBUH) is the last prophet of Allah.

To become a muslim you must follow the five pillars of Islam. the first pillar is a testimony and that testimony is as follows:
"I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God."
there are four other pillars .

Q: i didnt write down the website but now i need it. its a website thats for decorating a place in your house and on the website YOU pick a room you want to decorate and if you want it copntemporary modern or classic and then you pick a color and then they show you roooms~ i need that website in like an hour soooo please find one like that or find that one!!! I RATE 5'S!! ohh and NO DOWNLOADS!!

your computer browser has a file that stores the addressess for everywebsite you visit this is usually set for ten days...all you need to do is open that file and search the websites on the day you were there

Q: How does someone know when they get closure (not feeling as if they have to keep posting and reposting their problems) concerning their problem(s)on a site like this

closure is not what this site is about. the idea is to get outside views or opinions on your problems that you may not have thought of so you can make a better decision. if you keep reposting the same problem waiting for someone to give you the miracle cure you will probably be disappointed since life has very few situations with miracle cures to them

Q: It's the first time to contact you but I really need yr advice here. I'm 26 years old from Egypt and I'm in love with a women 25 years my senior. She is from TX. We first met in a chat room and we were very nice to each other. Actually I met her after some emotional troubles and depression I was stuck in before our meet with 12 months or more but after I met this women I really found a life should be lived and she helped me to heal my soul. We know each other since last March 2006 and after 3 months we both felt that chemistry between us and she was the first telling me that she die at me and she loves me, and I also was feeling the same way. She only has one 23 years old daugther who's working in another state so my my lover stays alone at home and she told me that she has met before other guys in chat rooms and most of them told her that they love her also and want to marry her and she had told me that before telling me that she loves me. When she has told me about those guys I explained her that there are alot of guys from outside the US who use this way to get marry with women from the US or Europe for immigration purposes.

I told her that I'll not be ready to leave my country now because I have family here I have to take of and I cannot leave them and she suggested to come and live here but I also found it not good idea because life her is not easy at all.

I have a job here and I like it and I'm afraid if I'll move to the US that I'll never find a similar job but I told my lover that I'm ready to work in any job and will not a problem.

She also as most of the older women have worries about the comments of the friends and family after she talked to them and there are some with and others are against. Her daughter has not rejection for this matter and all she wants is to find her Mom is happy in her life after 2 bad marriages she suffered from.

I know that you will find this a crazy idea because the age difference between us but I see her as the most beautiful women on earth and I guess she finds me that kindhearted young man who loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. But believe me, I don't mind with her age or the other people's opinion even we talked about having children and I told her that I don't want kids because this could be dangerous to her life and all I want is she.

So, please give me yr advice and I'm waiting for any other details or explains you might need.

Regards,

M. AAMER

as with all things on the internet, they are real in some ways and not real in others. why do you have to go from your chats right to marriage. can you not come here to visit or have her go there to visit and spend time and get to know each other in person before making a lifelong committment? i think you two should visit each others homes first and if that works you can take the next step.

Q: I had sex with my gf with a condom, there were no splits or breaks in the condom at all, there was no slip at all and there was semen in the condom.

But there was a white fluid in my gf's vagina, it was whiter than normal semen, had a different texture (more like a cream) and smelt of condom lubrication but i wasn't sure what exactly it could be: there isnt that much lubrication on a normal condom, and it couldnt have been semen because the condom was perefectly secure with no breaks or slips.

Could it be a mix of vaginal fluids and condom lubrication? Or is this something i should be worried about?

this is all very normal. the time you worry is if she experiences some pain or there is a discharge that is green or yellowish anything else is perfectly normal.

Q: I'll rate a pathetic little (1) to whoever advices me, "Tell your parents!"
Okay, first of all, my best friend gave me a kitten when her cat gave birth to a healthy litter of 4. The little kitten is a female and she is just SO cute.
My mother has allergies, so she won't let me have any cat or dog. My father hates the smell of any animal... so my sisters and I have been keeping it a secret. We have a babysitting job so we can buy cat food, litter box, blah blah... We loved having the first kitten so we got another 2. It went well for two weeks.
We've been keeping them in the backyard, hidden in the space under the deck.
They got fleas. What would be a good way to get rid of them besides going to the vet?? I think I need my parents to go to the vet so I don;t want to...
Plus, we haven't named this black kitty yet. Give me a good name for him, please!Thanks!!

Love y'all!!

i am not going to tell you to tell your parents. they're going to find out soon enough unless they're idiots. Unfortunatelly when you keep animals outside they are going to contract fleas. since you have money take the kittens to see a veterinarian and ask what he might recommend to help with the problem. they probably need shots anyway.

Q: Okay so I am girl and i'm striaght but I have this problem of having this urge to makeout with my best friend and she has the same urge to...She just recently discovered she was bi but I dont feel like i'm bi because i would never go out with a girl I just love to makeout with them or in other words her. So what should I do or what do you think is the problem?

in being young it is natural to want to try new things. You like your friend so much you think there should be more to your relationship than just the fact that you are friends. If as you stated, you would never go out with a girl then i would not recommend a makeout session with your friend. Hugging, touching, and being affectionate are all good things but unless you are sure, you should let your gut feeling guide you on what to do.

Q: there are a couple of girls i want to ask out, i have fun hang out with all of them, the problem is i don't know withc one i should ask out?

it is very hard to answer questions without more details but my best suggestion is make a list of good bad things about each girl. and choose the one with the most good things. then destroy the lists so the girl you chose and the others never see it.

Q: my friend told me that whem she lost her virginity she cried it hurt her so bad. and some people say the bigger/fatter the girl is the less it hurts. so im 14 years old and i have a 16 year old boyfriend and we might do it new years eve. but i wanna know how badly it hurts. he has fingered me before and it felt like he was pushing up aginst something. can u tell whet that thing is? it didn't hurt when he fingered me but will it hurt when he goes in? he is pretty big and im pretty small. i have felt him before and he's a lil too big for me i think. can anybody answer me?

the thing your boyfriend is pushing up against is more than likely your hymen. wikipedia has a much better description of the hymen than i want to go into. As far as pain is concerned it varies the first time with different women, some have more pain some have none or very little. how fat/thin the girl is makes little difference.
The size of the man (unless abnormally large) also makes little difference since the muscles and tissues on the woman stretch pretty easily. More important in cotroling pain is good lubrication either with a lubricated condom or a lubricant such as ky jelly/lotion.
More important yet is that you are comfortable and ready for sex and not being pressured by your bf or wanting to do because your friend did. my personal thought is that if you here asking questions it means you still have doubts and it might be better if you waited. there are plenty of non intercourse ways to make your bf happy.

Q: i really want to write a short story but i'm not good at coming up with plots, does anyone have any good ideas for a plot? thanks

stories are all about conflict resolution. boy loses dog. meteor is going to strike the earth. woman finds religion. how long your story is depends on how big the conflict is and how much detail you use in decribing how it gets resolved.
you need some more plots. plots are easy.
big evil corporation is taking over the (whatever you want) and the locals are fighting back
the damn broke and the flood is coming.
mysterious radiation gives young man strange abilities.

how good the story depends more about how you write it than what you're writing about. a good writer makes a trip to the store for milk interesting.

Q: CAn someone pleeeeeeeeeeeease tell me some dangers to getting your nose peicred and some good things bout it

good things
on most people a little nose stud in kinda cute.
nose piercing is very trendy.
if you have a big wart on your chin that people stare at the nose piercing will give it some competition(sorry but i thought it was funny)
bad things
there is some danger of infection if it is not kept clean till it heals.
some people have bad reactions to piercings even if kept clean, though this doesnt happen too often.
a sharp pointy needle is GOING THROUGH THE SIDE OF YOUR NOSE!!!
good or bad things.
parental type people tend to disapprove of nose rings but they disapprove of a lot of things that dont matter. but if this concerns you i guess it could be an issue.

Q: I just got my phone and I have Cingular. I heard after 7pm u get free unlimited minutes, then i heard sumthin about calling people from your same network is cheaper. Tell me please if any of this is tru, and if you no any other advatages that come with having Cingular. Thanks!

my best advise is too look up your plan and details with your computer. go to the cingular website and log in with your phone number. there are alot of different plans and plan options and you can read and choose whichever one is best for you. most cell companies give you at least the first month to choose which plan you want to stick with.

look them over and then three weeks from now check back and look at your usage to see if your on a good plan or not.

Q: ohk. i have this thing where when a guy goes into kiss me i pull away. its not that i want to pull away i just do. i have madeout before but im afraide to make out again. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. does anybody have any idea how i can get over this hump. i just met this amazing guy but i dont want to disapoint him in any way but i dont know if i can get over this hump. please someone help me. give me some hints as so i dont pull away next time he goes into kiss me..

first, you're not going to dissapoint him. lips together then open then tongues touch then his in your mouth, yours in his mouth whatever. just go with the flow. the other advicenators did a better job of descibing it than i am doing.

but to defeat the pull back thing i do have an answer. your head moves back because it is a natural reaction to avoid stuff coming towards your face whether it is a guys lips or a bumble bee. the reason this happens is pure reflex since you have no control.

so take control. when he moves in to kiss you lightly put your hand on the side of his neck with your fingers curling back into his hair and pull his face to yours slowly. since you are doing the pulling it kills the reflex that makes you pull away and he will find it very sexy as a bonus.

Q: Well to make a long story as short as possible, I've been under stress lately. My mom doesn't talk to me, my sister moved out a while ago, and she just told me that she and her boyfriend are moving far away soon becasue he's joining the Army.
I love my boyfriend more than anything, we have a great relationship and I know he loves me. But Something has been wrong lately. Whenever I have to leave his house I get really depressed, and all these terrible thoughts come to my head, I can't stop them, like that he doesn't love me anymore, or that he's not attracted to me. I can't stop these thoughts, and I wish they would go away. I know they're ridiculous and I can't take it anymore. It's happened so amny times before, I'll be doing something, and somethign he'll say or so will automatically make me think that he doesn't love me anymore, or that he's annoyed with me. I'm so scraed to disagree with him or raise my voice or tell him not to do something because I'm terrified that he'll get mad, and it kills me to think that I could upset him. (I'm like that around most people, I hate thinking that I could have upset someone because I can't stand the idea that someone could be mad at me.) My boyfriend has this habit of pinching my butt and honking my boobs, and I really wish he wouldn't. I dunno how to tell him to stop though, I'd rather just be around him without all the pervy physical stuff.
I dunno whats wrong with me. Please give me advice, information, reassurance, anything!

you say you know your boyfriend loves you. tell him the pervy stuff he does makes you unhappy. but since you love him give him something he can do that you like or wont mind him doing. he is touching you because he likes you. teach him how to do it in a way that pleases you. he cant read your mind, you have to tell him.

your sister is moving and your going to miss her. talk to your mom about it. your mom is going to miss her too so you have that in common.

being confuse with strange thoughts in your head is just a sign of growing up and as you get older that little voice inside will grow up to and start to give you better advise.

Q: hey girls again....13/f...."canadian"...i kinda have a crush on this guy...hes really good-looking but i dont know how to start a converstaion! Hes been in my school for 2 years and ive seen him around everywhere so it would be really weird if i just went up to him and said "hi, whats your name?"...im not the shy type i just dont know how to start a converstaion with him! also,im not really friends with any of his friends, just one of my good friends SOMETIMES hangs out with him...how should i start the convo?? thanks soo much

find out his name from your friend and then walk up and introduce yourself, hi ( his name) my name is (your name) do you like (insert sport or movie type here) ,cool why do we go to (sport or movie ) this weekend?

i know that was pathetically simple but thats how life is unless you complicate it with unnecessary drama. good luck

Q: Alright so, I had been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 months. I've been kind of jealous of his ex, because they were like best friends and he told her everything,they would be up late talking, i just know it. and I felt like he still loved her, and believed him when he said he didn't. I never really liked her, she has been cruel to me, and rude, and an abusive friend.
But still, he told her everything...and she still loved him even after breaking up with him.
So I tell him. that I feel like he doesn't talk to me, and my best friend was kind of interfering and talking to him about it too, so then he broke up with me. then I told my other friend, and she called him and told him what a mistake he made, so he apologized to me and asked me to take him back. I rly like him, so I did.
Then I asked him if he rly meant it when he was sorry, because I talked to his ex, the girl I rly don't like and she showed me that he had told her that he was depressed that me and him were together, not apart, and that he only loved me so my friends would stop yelling at him. He of course then assured me he loved me, and that he was sorry, and he rly sounded like he meant it. So I believed him, but my friends, both girls and boys, were telling me to dump him rly fast because they thought everything he said was bullshit. and then of course and hour after he told me he rly loved me he told me he lied. so my friends were right and then goes out with his ex again. while she and him are going out, his best friend, who is a good friend of mine too, tells me he still wants to go out. then his ex breaks up with him again and tells him and me that she is gay, but I don't rly believe that, and then suddenly his best friend is again telling me that he wants to know what he can do to get me back.
eventually he gets around to talking to me, so we're back together again, but my best friends, who had been right about him before, are telling me i made a mistake by taking him back. Nothing has rly changed that much in the way he acts, and I dunno if I trust him. I want to so bad. I love that kid.
Does he RLY love me back? I mean I could ask him, but how would I know I'm getting the truth?
I rly don't think he is a liar, he always seemed like a rly good boy.
He acts like he loves me.
If he is lying now, I don't think it was like that for the whole 2 and 1/2 months. He rly seemed so in love with me.
What happened?
What should I say to him?
Should I stay with him?

i know this is going to be short but it seems rather easy to me. if he act like you want him to, keep him. if he starts to ignore you and talk to his ex, dump him. it doesn't matter what your friends say, they may be wrong you can't tell. But you do need to remember that he lied to you before so he may do so again. i wouldn't give your whole heart to someone capable of lying like that.

bio

i am a work in progress but i pay close attention to everything. I feel it is a good thing to share the knowledge i have acquired in my travels to anyone asking and it brings me pleasure to do so. i have lived in California, Alaska, Idaho, and New Mexico and been married and divorced. I have no children of my own but have fostered several .