khadiya's advice column

askkhadiya

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 14/f

okays, so i have a boyfriend, and we've been together for about 4 months now. okay, i'm his LONGEST relationship, so i'd rather say he's still learning. we were at school today, and he was walking me home. and one of my close friend's just met him after i introduced her to him. and she was only with us for about 10 minutes, and she told me that he doesn't treat me right. I must be really slow, because i don't see that yet. So i'm waiting to see if he does or not. is it natural that you don't see if your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't treat you right? i noticed earlier, but i don't know now... i can't see it anymore. >.

Yep. Everyone can see it but you. You should get her to explain to you what he did that was sooo Wrong. And if you agree that it was wrong then wait to see if he does it again and have a talk with him if he does. But be careful because some girls can just be jealous. even if they are good friends.

Q: 14/f

i like this guy, lets call him Billy. Billy's liked me for almost a year now.. but i'm not sure if he likes me anymore. i didn't notice the things he's done for me till later on. the thing is, he doesn't know that i like him. and i can't tell him either, because i have a REALLY good reason why i shouldn't. and it hurts to see him move on to another girl. because he MUST be SOOOO comfortable to tell me that this girl was cute & hot. so i only replied as "lol, i see." but really.. i'm like "............" i don't know.... i just don't really want to let him go, because he's been with me for sooo long and stuff, i don't want it to change. help me please?!

I think you like this guy now because he moved on. You might just have to get comfortable with this relationship that he has now. And find something else to focus on. He was tired of waiting on you...Sorry

Q: i was wondering about on an average scale, how much is it to get your hair permed & what asre all the benifits & non-benifits to go with it? also i was thinking of getting my hair dyded at the bottom like avril lavigne, I was wondering is there some kind of spray or something thats holds on until you wash your hair, or do you acaully have to dye your hair to get it to be pink at the bottom?

its a website called bloodvials.com they have colored hair spray. Thats all i can give ya!

Q: Well heres a picture of me
http://coookiieloove.piczo.com/?preview=y&cr=7&rfm=y
Im on the right =]
I just need to know what type of make up would suit me or what make-up should i use just to make me abit prettier thanks MUCH

neutral colors and pastels. Nothing too loud. or anything though.

Q: My friend's brother just got sentenced to a jail term of 2-3 years. He is a really bad man. He has mistreated her in the past, and she forgave him. I have never forgotten how badly he mistreated her, she forgave him because he's her brother. Well, she is really upset about him going to jail and worrying for his wife and kids and I simply don't know what to say to support her sadness/disappointment without being phony. What do you think?

nothing you can say is going to make her feel beter because he is going regardless. So just leave the situation alone. The only thing you can say ro her is he will be out before you know it.

Q:

i'm 16yrs old, &&' my mom found out that i smoke marijuana. I told my cousin, my cousin told her mom, and her mom told my mom. She's all crying and stuff, because she found out. My mom and dad both smoke marijuana, so i don't see why she cares. My mom isn't like a regular mom, she asked me why i didn't tell her. And it's because hes not the mom to talk about sex or stuff like that. I just yelled at her to get out of my room, when she asked me why i didnt tell her. Now i'm mad because i thought she knew all the times i came home and smelt like it. And i'm afraid she'll tell my dad. What do i do? please help in any way!

Stop smoking. That aint the way to go. Thats why she is upset. Because she knows it isnt a good thing to do. You cant get a job like that. Not a good one anyways. People are starting to test hair these days and it stays in your hair for a long ass time. Bad habit to have picked up.

Q: Hey pplz. I like this one guy over the internet. Let's say his name is Alex. He is a really big sweety-pie and I really like him. But distance is horrible. He lives in Washington, 20 miles away from Seattle, and I just moved to Oklahoma. I really like him, but another problem is, IM WAY TO YOUNG!!!!!!!!!! He's 18 and im only 13. It's hard being a young girl and liking a guy who is way older than you. Plus, he only wants to stay friends. I HATE THAT!!!!! I'm really close to him. What should I do?!?!?!!?!?!? Should I forget about him or just continue liking him but not do anything about it? HELP MEEEEE!

Forget about him. Just stay his friend. There is nothing that you and him really have in common. He's doing stuff you arent even old enough to do yet.

Q: Does perfume spoil? It has no expiration date, but, does it go bad, or stop smelling good after a certain amount of time

The smel will wear off. It doesnt exactly spoil. Heat makes the smell weak so hears an Idea I learned. Keep it in the fridge!! I know it sounds weird but it works.

Q: i kind of had sex for the first time 5 days ago with no protection but heres the ting i finnished but obviously he didnt b/c he was thinking of other things so he wouldnt get excited so he didnt even feel close to finnishing on me, but i was supossed to get my period 4 days ago but inever did i still feel cramps adn my boobs r sore but there r all these risks about his penis being in mine even if he didnt finnish im scared please help me out .!!!

Just because he didnt finish doesnt mean anything. Its a thing called prenut. Its traces of semen in urine that is worked out of the penis at the begining of a male becoming erect. Basically it cleans out the tip of the penis. But it can still get you pregnant cuz it has sperm in it. See if it comes, and if it doesnt, best thing to do is get a test. I could be because your hormones have changed so just give it time.

PS What messenger is that ID for?? I have yahoo. Khadiya2001

Q: I'm starting college on Monday and I just wanted to ask a few general questions. I'm going to Penn State McKeesport (aka Greater Allegheny) if that helps.

1. This might sound weird, but how do people normally dress for college? I come from a HS that didn't allow ANYTHING. I don't know if it's different in college. Like, are shorts and tank tops allowed? I'm just wondering.

2. Obviously, I'll have books. Do people usually carry their books, use backpacks, or use just really big purses?

3. I won't know anyone, and I'm not so good at making friends because I'm really really shy, so any pointers for making friends would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance and sorry if the first 2 questions are really weird, but I have social anxiety disorder, so I NEED to know stuff like that hahah.

Oh and also, I'm driving to school, so no, I won't have a roommate to make friends with. :[

Causual dress. You can wear just about anything you want.

I know people who carry book bags, but if your going to have a lot of books. Keep them in your car and go trade off. If possible. I know it may say a class ends at a certain time but not alway. It may end early. So you'll have time to do other stufff. You will eventually make friends. In some classes you may have to stand up an introduce yourself.

Q: 14/f

Ok so last year I met this girl and she's my best friend. We laugh a lot and have fun together. I've never had a real best friend because all of my friends turn their backs on me. But she's not like that.. lets call her Jane

Recently, Jane has been obsessed with boys... and I know that it's normal at this age... but this is just getting out of control. She's crushing on 3 different guys!!!

guy #1- her neighbor, she says that he is only a friend... but constantly wants to see him and spend time with him

Guy #2- Her ex, they've been together for about 1 or 2 months... He's one of my friends. He's always talking about her, and she's spending time with him

Guy #3- 1 year older than her, she just met him... I met him, he's very funny and nice. She calls him a lot on his phone and is always looking forward to seeing him at church.

GAH!! It's driving me insane!! I really like Jane as a best friend and I don't want to lose my friendship with her.. but it's just sooooooooooooo annoying because she is always talking/seeing/watching boys

I've confronted her about this, about 5 times, and I told her that I'm so annoyed that she is obsessed with boys. I keep asking her who she truely likes and she can't crush on 3 guys. She tells me " I know, I know, I know... but I like all of them and I don't know who i like the most!!!"

So for about 4 days, I've been ignoring her... because I want nothing to do with her life right now.

Is there anyway I can get her to focus on me more, and less on boys?? Or change her mind about them?

I need advice!

She can crush on all the guys. She isnt obligated to just like one. As long as she doesnt start dating them all.

When she starts talking about a guy just plain out tell her,, Im sick of hearing about boys, can we talk about something else? You asking her who she likes more is going to make her think that you really give a damn who she really likes. Just support your friend. Thats about all you can do.

Q: I'm a 32-year-old female who has been having an affair during the last year with my 59-year-old married boss. I am madly in love with him and divorced my husband eight months ago to marry him.

He promised to divorce his wife, but so far there is no sign of divorce. I'm beginning to think I'm a big fool. What do you think?

You are indeed a fool. He will tell you anything to keep you in his reach. I would say just leave the boss alone, but you may lose your job because of this.

What I think you should do is ween yourself off him slowly. Just talk to him a little less every day. Or dont see him as much until you realize that he's not for you.

Q: Hi My problem is well I have been bfs with this friend lets call her jo for almost five years now and I have always been there for her and she for me but you see she turned 18 a few months back and I dont turn until two weeks and well I new she would get new friends and yes I am a little jealous I supppose but its not unfounded you see she recently made this new friend lets say amy and well she doesnt have time for me now. we used to phone each other every night and now when she tells me to phone shes never there shes out with amy. It at first didnt bother me but now it pisses me off cause we made a deal that we would never let someone come between us and that wed always be there for each other.
Also any time we spend time together as I say a rareity in itself shes always txtin or phonin this person and not payin any attention to the fact that shes supposed to be with me.
I guess what im sayin is that I think Im loseing the one person I have ever trusted and Its killin me and I cant tell her cause then ahll lose her anyway and that will kill me once and for all.
Another thing that really bugged me was she asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with her and when I said yes as its the week after my bday she said that I could "TAG ALONG" with her and amy.
I really need help cause this is really gettin me down and soz its so long.
lxx
please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im assuming hat amy is already 18. So when jo turned 18 she got access to stuff you couldnt, and thats when amy came in to play. Dont feel bad. Start including yourself. At least you were invited which lets you know that she was at least trying to include you.
Honestly, I think you should tell her that you feel a little left out. Then she will start to include you more. Or just ask her what happened to us? I think we grew apart and see what she has to say. You cant just hold back because then you will never know.

Q: if you could build yourself the perfect place to live.. the perfect house or mansion. what would you put in it? what kinds of things would you do to make it different from other houses..if you had all the money in the world. ex: one floor is made out of trampoline canvas. things like that. be creative! im trying to get ideas for a college project im working on. thannkks! :]

Um wow. I would have these bathtubs, when you turn the water on it comes from the roof!! And as the tub fills up, it over flows into an outer lining!!! My shower would change colors like a mood ring! My house would be two stories and ever room would have different them to take you to a different place. Like one room would be mardi gras, another would be a hollywood room. You know just something outrageous!

Q: Hey everyone.

Before you just look at how long this is, it's actually a pretty interesting story and I really need some advice here!! :-P

I'm a 14 year old girl and my best friend, Mike, is a 15 year old guy. I really like being around him and hanging out with him. You should also know he's a very awkward guy - probably the most awkward one I know...meaning he isn't always the most personal guy who tells you all his secrets, etc. :-P But we are close.

Anyway, we've been close friends for about a year and a half now. Something weird happened in 7th grade and we "dated". it was very awkward and didn't last, though.

So, we've been hanging out much more this summer, lately, than we really have before. He asked me to go to a movie with him after x-country practice yesterday, and I figured, you know, since he always asks me to go places (as friends, of course) it was no big deal.

Well.....when we got there, we were the only ones in the whole theater and the movie was about to start. He said "where do you wanna sit?" I said "just not in the front". So, he picked a seat with the arm-rest up. I have been thinking he likes me as more than a friend for a little while now...but then just think I'm imagining things. Anyway, he picked those 2 seats out of the whole theater. I figured it might not mean anything, and I went to the bathroom.

When I came back there were a bunch more people in the theater, and he was like, I don't wanna be right behind these people, let's go somewhere else. I was like....okay? haha

so, I figured, you know, being the awkward guy he is -- he'd feel weird sitting with the armrest up since that usually means youre planning on being pretty close....so, he moved back like, 1 row, and picked ANOTHER 2 seats w/ the armrests up!

I thought, oh man, he's gonna try to hold my hand or something! Then our other friend, Vinny showed up. He sat next to Mike, and I was on the other side of Mike. Mike managed to sit as far away as possible from me the entire movie.

I STILL can't figure out why he wanted to sit in those 2 seats so badly if he wasn't even gonna sit close to me...maybe it was because it would be weird with our other friend there??

I'm not sure. But anyway, sorry this was so long but I'd greatly appreciate some opinions...I told my brother and he just laughed at me, haha. But it's weird! Does he like me? was he waiting for me to "make a move"?? I don't think I really like him like that....but I had sometimes during the movie where I actually hoped he would hold my hand! Its very confusing.

I don't know, it sounds pretty dumb but you're talking to someone who's never even held hands with anyone, so it was a pretty big deal for me, especially with him being my best friend and all.

Thanks so much!
:>)

He likes you. But He's shy. Maybe he doesnt want his friends to knoww. Not in a bad way he just isnt ready for them to know yet. He isnt going to come out and say he likes you because of the type of person you are so your best bet is to go with the flow and wait it out.

Q: has anyone ever ordered off of cellular-blowout.com? i ordered a phone from there on sunday and it says 4-5 days ground shipping... are they reliable? after i placed the order it said the website was not locked so i am kind of worried now..

see if it comes and if it doesnt look for a contact number on the bottom of the webpage and if you cant find it call the better bussiness beauruea and see if they have anything to say about that website in particular and if they dont then your basically screwed....sorry.

Q: she's liked this boy for.. idk.. forever, but they've been talking FOREVER and then they finally started dating, and then before he went on vacation to Mexico, he told her that he would never leave her and that he loves her so much, but then when he came back, he broke up with her, which obviously means he didn't mean it.
but he's the ONLY guy she's cried about.. and now she sees him everyday
and i'm worried because she gets really upset and angry when she sees him..
and i don't know what to do..
i pretty much hide her, like when he walks passed, i step in front so that she can't see him, but I can't do that for much longer.. :[
what do i do?

p.s. she was talking to me the other day, and she was telling me "i'm scared i'm going to lose EVERYONE.. i've already lost my BEST friend.. and then she lost her mom.. and then my mom died.. and now I lost *nick" i'm scared.

All you can do is give her moral support. She will eventually get over it. Just tell her that there's other guys and that things will get better. Always remember things happen for a reason, And she shouldnt stress over that one boy. Also tell her thatt you are there and she wont lose you.

Q: i cant put a tampon in. i have tried so hard. but i can not seem to know where your supposed to put it in. everyones liek the hole. but what hole? im so confused. i have tried several times. im afraid im going to put it in somewhere wrong or try to put it in and it hurts me like where something goes wrong with me. please help! i want to use one so bad!

Have you ever checked out the instructions??
Try that!! And its the hole in front of the anus.

Q:
Last night on Comedy Central there was a comedy act and I think Snoop Dog was doing a comedy act and he was making fun of Flava Flav the whole time.. Can someone send the link on youtube of the video?

Its called a comedy central roast.
So go on youtube and look up the roast of flavor flav.

Q: okay so there is this guy who has been texting me and i don't know who it is! here is what we have been saying from the beggining to now.
and also jordan, noah, and mackenzie are my siblings.
him- who is this?
me- anna, who is this?
him- do you like apples?
me- who is this?
him- i take that as a yes then?
me- who is this and i'll tell you.
him- i'll never tell you. i do know you though.
me- please just tell me!
him- ok ok, my name is hitler.
me- haha very funny. is this jordan?
him- no, not noah or mackenzie either.
me- oh my gosh, how do you know me? this is creepy...what gender are you?
him- you really don't know who this is do you?
me- uh no i don't but i know that you're a boy.
(i knew he was a boy because my friend called his phone and he picked up and it was a boys voice)
him- How do you know that? You a smarty pants now? And who's phone did you call me from?
me- yeah i am a smarty pants, thanks.
him- who's phone did you call me from?
me- Do you actually think that that's my voice? Why does it matter anyway?
him- Yes i actually think it was your voice being that i know you and as your new mystery stalker i think it's my right to know who it was.
me- I am not calling you, someone else is. Just tell me your age.
him- older then you.
me- Do you know my brother?
him- not really
me- how do you know me then?
him- that's for you to find out.
me- how do i find out?
him- you figure it out, smarty pants.
me- haha good one.
NEXT CONVERSATION- 2 days later
him- Did you miss me?
me- yeah i was wondering where you went.
him- haha well i am still here. you want me to tell you who i am?
me- PLEASE TELL ME!
him- haha, i dont think you've suffered enough.
me- wow, you're really nice.
him- a hint to my identity.
NEXT CONVERSATION- Next day
me- what's the hint?
him- you already figured it out, i'm not very nice.
me- okay...creepy.
him- are we being rude now?
me- well, i think it's pretty rude how you're not telling me who you are!
him- No no, that's just good fun. Hahaha, is it really killing you?
me- duh.

Okay, so that is all of our conversations so far. I've asked like all my friends and siblings if it's one of them or their friends, and none of them even know the number and they wouldn't lie. I've looked on all the websites and i know that they live in my area but you have to pay like 20$ to get the name and address or i would. So i don't know what to do and it's really creepy so should i stop texting or what?
thank you in advance!

Just tsop responding. When he sees that you arent responding he will probably just give up or tell you who he is.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.