|
What do I do I need help and fast before it destroys us!!!!
Hi My problem is well I have been bfs with this friend lets call her jo for almost five years now and I have always been there for her and she for me but you see she turned 18 a few months back and I dont turn until two weeks and well I new she would get new friends and yes I am a little jealous I supppose but its not unfounded you see she recently made this new friend lets say amy and well she doesnt have time for me now. we used to phone each other every night and now when she tells me to phone shes never there shes out with amy. It at first didnt bother me but now it pisses me off cause we made a deal that we would never let someone come between us and that wed always be there for each other.
Also any time we spend time together as I say a rareity in itself shes always txtin or phonin this person and not payin any attention to the fact that shes supposed to be with me.
I guess what im sayin is that I think Im loseing the one person I have ever trusted and Its killin me and I cant tell her cause then ahll lose her anyway and that will kill me once and for all.
Another thing that really bugged me was she asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with her and when I said yes as its the week after my bday she said that I could "TAG ALONG" with her and amy.
I really need help cause this is really gettin me down and soz its so long.
lxx
please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Turning 18 opens up a lot of possibilities and freedoms, as I'm sure you will experience soon enough. Have you thought that perhaps Jo just got caught up in all that freedom that she didn't realize how neglected she made you feel?
My advice is to talk with her about this. I promise it won't kill you. If she is as good of a friend as you say, she will hear you out and most likely try to be a little different from now on. Communication is really the only option you have at this point. What's a friendship without communication after all?
Once you turn 18 and are able to go clubbing and all that other fun stuff, I'm sure you'll realize it was just an honest mistake. I think it would be a great idea for you to give Jo's new friend Amy a chance. Who knows, maybe she'll make a great new friend for you as well and the three of you can have fun together.
I understand your hurt, for I have been through those things myself. But, honestly, more than half the time the person does not even realize they are doing it. If they are a good friend, they will hear you out and things will get better between you two. If she won't hear you out and thinks you are overreacting, then maybe she was never that great of a friend to begin with.
Basically, tell her how you feel, ask to be included, and get out there and meet new people and fun right along with Jo instead of hanging back and getting upset.
]
Oh, dear. That promise you made to never let someone come between you and to always be there for each other is very sweet. It's just nearly impossible to do. Ask most people. It's the natural order of things that people will drift in and out of your life. Once you get a serious boyfriend or girlfriend, you will see that friendships get put on the backburner. Maybe it's just a new friendship with exciting things for Jo to do with Amy, but I think your friend is simply drifting away.
My advice to you is that you have to learn to be okay with that. It's the nature of things. You should find someone else to fulfill you in the way Jo does now. If you want to maintain your relationship with Jo, I suggest you start getting cozy with Amy as well. There may be nothing to do to save the close relationship you have with Jo, but it might be worth a try making your friendship a threesome with Amy (not sexually). Try not to be a third wheel. It really sounds to me, though, like Jo is looking for more adventure or a different type of relationship than you and she share.
Best wishes.
Sabine
]
Im assuming hat amy is already 18. So when jo turned 18 she got access to stuff you couldnt, and thats when amy came in to play. Dont feel bad. Start including yourself. At least you were invited which lets you know that she was at least trying to include you.
Honestly, I think you should tell her that you feel a little left out. Then she will start to include you more. Or just ask her what happened to us? I think we grew apart and see what she has to say. You cant just hold back because then you will never know.
]
More Questions: |