I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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22/f.
I graduated from college yesterday, and my boyfriend came with his family. I never received a card or a gift from any of them. I couldn't help being disappointed that I didn't even receive a card or some flowers. Do I have a right to be mad?
Thanks (link)
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No. Maybe they thought making time for your graduation was enough to show that they cared. You don't invite people to your events for the gifts. You invite them to share in your celebration of an achievement. If they bring gifts, great! If they don't, I hope you thank them graciously for taking time out to come witness your special day. They didn't owe you anything. You aren't even their own child! That being said, boyfriend could have done *something*! A card from him, at least. That would have been nice. But his family, no, they are not obligated.
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hi guys, i have been very stressed lately and i raelly dont know what about. I guess relationship things, family stress, and school stress. Does anyone have a good way to just sit home and relax? Just to let everything escape from your mind that you havent been able to go a day without thinking about in a few months. To have a completely empty head. I've been thinking so much for the past few months, the things i think about follow me to my dreams when that was the only place i could escape them, and ive had a constant headache for about 2 or 3 weeks. how do i compltely relax my brain, and my body and forget everything just for a day while staying at home? Thank you so much to who ever answers this, it will be highly apperciated! (link)
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It takes practice. Seriously. Instead of trying to spend a whole day relaxing (which can turn out to be stressful once you realize you can't relax!)start making a habit of carving out little patches of time to relax. 20minutes a day, an hour, whatever suits you. Tell yourself that for that time you will turn off your phone and email and all the voices in your head and do something you like doing - nap, music, drawing, reading, whatever it is you enjoy. Set a timer. Never end before the time is up, but if you feel like having more time, reset the timer. The goal is to get your body and mind used to having "downtime". As you get better at it, you'll look forward to having an entire day here and there to chill.
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Just curious for people's thoughts. (link)
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yes
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well i'm 17 years old and i'm a 26A i have been the same size since i was 12 years old and i haven't grown yet i was wondering weather my boobs will grow or they will stay this size forever (link)
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It isn't unusual for your body to change as you hit different ages, so yes, its totally possible they will grow. Hormones have a lot to do with it. Many girls will see change in their bodies when they start having sex, and of course, pregnancy changes your body in a lot of ways too. I have friends who moved up a cup size in their late 20's even! Wait a few more years before you get to worried about this. Your body will change a lot in the next 5 years, I guarantee! I hope it changes in the way you want. Good luck.
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This may be long... I'm 20. My boyfriend is 24. We've dated for about 3 years. He's done the college thing and has graduated. I've been at a local college so we've been able to stay together...but in a few months I'll be going away for my other 2 years of college. We've discussed the fact that it will be best that we break up when I go away. He doesn't want me to miss out on the college experience and being single, and honestly I don't either. But we agreed on staying together until then through the summer.
Last night he broke up with me. It was completely unexpected. This sounds selfish, but I thought that if anyone would bring up breaking up it would be me. It took a lot for him to do it and I know how much it hurt him. Bacially he feels like we have this huge heavy cloud over us (the fact that I'm going away and we'll be broken up) and he can't handle being with me and pretending like hes okay with it. He told me he doesn't want to break up and he loves me, but he feels this is the right thing to do. I can't say I don't agree with him. I'm not bitter towards him at all. I really want him to be happy. But I'm left completely heartbroken.
Anyways, he has always said it is a possibility that we may end up together in a year or two, but he wouldn't want to date again until I'm done with college. He feels that I will "learn a lot about myself" during that time, and will grow from it. He still feels this way, and he says he doesn't want to completely stop talking or completely stop seeing each other.
That said, I'm expecting to have fun in college and meet guys and maybe even date once I am over this. I would like to think that he and I could end up together in the end, if that's what we both want, so I don't want to completely cut communication ties. I will be coming home for holidays and stuff because my college is only a few hours away from home.
So, my question is, should I see him when I come home? Would that just make it harder on us? I feel that since we're breaking up now we will both be over it (well, somewhat over it) by that time anyways. I really don't want to never see him again. We had a really good thing going and we both knew it. The only reason we're breaking up is because of the college thing... and I know we're going to miss each other. Any sort of advice/experience would be extremely helpful. Sorry for the length... thanks so much!
(link)
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don't think so far ahead. Just go to college, enjoy the experience, take each day as it comes and cross that bridge when you get to it. You are very emotional right now. You have no idea what your feelings will be 2 days from now, let alone 2 months or years! Don't think about it right now. Just do your thing and take life as it comes.
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I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old step son. My in laws live in 3 houses on the same land. So all our holidays have been out there etc its just easier. Well My step son is mean and my mother inlaw wont get him any help. His mother hasnt wanted anything to do with him in a long time years. My husband was 17 was he was born and unable to raise him. So my inlaws have full gaurdian ship of him. I would like to take them to court and raise him our self which could cause alot of problems but unable to have the money to get a lawyer right now. I cant leave either of my kids alone with i have caught him shaking my 1 year old daughter hurting my son punching him. hitting intenially hurting him yelling at him telling his he cant stay the night but your sister can. i mean this is constant as soon as my son gets out of the car hes on his case. its hard to talk to my husband about his son i feel like i hate him even though id do anything for him. hes just so awful to my kids. i dont want to go to there house we are down to going out there 1 time a week. sometimes less. (link)
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You have caught your stepson abusing your kids and yet you want him in your home? No, don't do that. I understand your thinking. You want to provide him with some stability, thinking that will calm him down, but I'm afraid, at his age, the damage has been done. Simply moving him to your home won't do. Then you are looking at a clearly angry and disturbed little boy who is now around your own small, defenseless children day and night (do you plan to sleep with your children every night to make sure he doesn't do anything crazy while everyone is sleeping?). Try talking to your husband in terms of your own children, instead of his son. You could say "Honey, I'm worried about little katy and billy... their brother seems to be hurting them more than playing with them and I'm worried for their safety. How do you think we should handle this?" Surely he must see there is a problem here. I'm betting your stepson is dealing with some pretty intense emotions related to the fact that his own parents didn't want to raise him and yet his father has started a new family with someone else, and is now raising two new children. I'm sure for a 7 year old it is all very confusing and hurtful and he is acting out. If you can't afford a lawyer then I'm guessing you can't afford a therapist either. But somebody has to do something now, before this boy's problems get more out of control. I'm willing to bet he is having big problems at school, too. If you can, ask your husband to consider meeting with the teacher/principal and your in-laws to figure out if the school has any resources that can help him. Be sure your husband knows that you care for his son, and you want him to be close with his siblings, that you are not being mean or jealous.. you just want peace in your family and you want a good life for your stepson also. And I believe you do. I don't think you really hate him... but you are scared of him, and you should be. So until your in-laws or husband are willing to take control of the situation and get him some help, you need to do what you can to limit contact between him and your children. Remember, as a mother, your first priority is to keep your children safe, and they are not safe around your stepson right now. And as he gets bigger, it will only get worse, unless he gets help. Good luck.
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Okay, so me and my bf have been together for 1.5 years and I am really in love with him. He's always smoked pot and when we first started dating I realized that he has done pills and never told me. I got pissed and basically he stopped for a while. In January, everything seemed to take a turn for the worse. We've been doing long distance for almost a year now and in january he moved 2 hours away(instead of 7). He hasnt moved to my town because he had a really good friend commit suicide here and its tough on him (thats when he started doing pills). He moved back home because he started doing pills again and overdosed. His dad kept him on a tight leash when he got home so he moved out and is now living with a friend(who also suffers the same addiction) Recently when I was on spring break we spent time together and he keeps talking about wanting me and marrying me and having children and blah blah blah. This stuff scares the crap out of me because I am a freshman in college with a boyfriend who has a drug problem. But since ive been at school again, he has been horrible with calling me. Usually he'd call me once a night, and if i was going out he'd tell me to call him when i got home. Now I hear from him about every 5 days. Ive told him this really bugs me and that if he really wants me in his life this needs to change but it doesnt seem to work. He always says he will call me the next night when we are getting off the phone but then four days later still nothing. (he has no phone-he uses his friends so i cant call him) I'm just really confused if this means that maybe he's losing interest in us? If he was im confused why he even bothers calling me at all? He's planning a trip here in two weeks so it seems like he still loves me a lot. I'm thinking maybe he's still doing the pills and this is effecting our relationship. I just really want to get it through his head that I will stick around while he gets himself clean if he simply treats me like a girlfriend and lets me know whats going on. I really love him and when im with him I really feel like he loves me too. We've been through so much and ive never felt the same for any of my past relationships, but i wish id know if he felt the same. My parents think I should dump him because of the drugs, and i see their point because it is NOT acceptable. But I see how much they effect him and know that he really truley wants to change that. When I bring up leaving, he says he needs me and he has no reason to change if im not there. But then why wouldn't he call and treat me like he loves me still. I feel like all his words have been empty promises lately and I don't know if thats gonna change anytime soon? If he makes the trip up here it would mean a lot. I know he probably will because he has the money too, but I can't help but get anxious thinking that he is like never gonna call or just disappear from my life. I hope this whole mess of a paragraph makes sense and someone can give me some real advice. He always ends up pushing through but I really want him to be there when i need him not just when he needs me. Is there anyway to salvage this? :/ (link)
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Your boyfriend CAN'T be there for you the way you need him to be. He's an addict. Addicts don't view the world and relationships the way we do. Addiction creates extremely selfish people. I believe you when you say that is not "the real" him, however, for as long as he is addicted, it IS the real him, and you have to accept that. Its time for you to recognize that he is not the same person you fell in love with. The drugs have clouded his mind and his judgment. He is not capable of loving you (or anyone, for that matter) the way you deserve to be loved. Addicts are also manipulative. They learn to prey on the hopes and fears of their loved ones. They don't do it in a scary or weird way (not always, anyway), but in a way that makes you feel bad. He doesn't want to be alone. So he makes you feel bad about leaving him because he knows that is your weakness. You want to see him get clean so bad you'll do anything, and he counts on that. You say the drugs are "NOT acceptable", and yet you are still wanting a relationship with him. How can you expect him to believe you won't accept his drug use if you keep sticking around for him? I'm sorry, I know this hurts so much, but you are not helping you or your bf by sticking around. If you truly love him you will cut off all contact with him. You will need to tell him that when he gets professional help and changes his life, then you can talk. Until that time, you need to cut off all contact. Don't even accept texts or calls, because he knows the right buttons to push and you dont' seem strong enough, at this point, to resist his manipulation. He may have loved you sincerely at one point, but right now he loves his addiction more than anything. That's what addiction does to a person. It makes them forget who they really are and forget how to be concerned for other people. If you stay with him, you are only hurting him, believe it or not. You are giving aid and comfort to his disease. Maybe someday he will be able to be the man you hoped he would be. But those changes he must make for himself. You cannot, and will never, change him, or anybody. It will be painful, but as I said before, if you truly do love him, you will sacrifice your own feelings to help him learn how to help himself. My own father struggles with addictions, so I know quite a bit about how it feels to love someone who can't love you back the right way because of drugs/alcohol. If you want more information/help, watch "Intervention" on A&E... I know its just a tv show, but it is the most real portrayal of addiction and how it affects families that I've ever seen on television. It will help you understand some things. Good luck.
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i heard that you can sign up online and get a pen pal who's in the miliary to write too and email and stuff. do they still do that? where do i sign up? i've tried looking online, but i couldnt find any websites. (link)
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Here is a great organization that sets up people with their own "adopted" soldiers to write to and support. soldiersangels.org There are some rules - you have to write one letter (hand written, snail-mail) a week and send one care package (any size) a month. And you have to understand that they won't always be able to write back. Some of them are in the field and can't get to a computer for weeks at a time. I have "adopted" two so far, and one was only able to even let me know he was getting my packages at the end of his tour. The other is just heading home from Iraq now. But both expressed great thanks for the contact. They said it helps so much to receive letters and packages, to have something to look forward to in the mail, and to get items from home that they couldn't dream of finding while in a foriegn country. There are other requirements for signing up to be matched with a soldier. You do have to go through an approval process. If you don't want to be a penpal, they have a lot of other ways you can help. Check out the website and see if its something you want to do, but keep in mind that you should not be doing this to develop a relationship of any kind. Its rare to receive mail back from the soldiers. As I said before, they are very busy, but they all do appreciate the letters and packages, even if they can't say so. Hope that helps a bit. Good luck.
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thanx! (link)
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The average American yearly income is $45,000. Its pretty huge in comparison.
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This was my original question with the followup below:
My boss is more then 50yrs old and lives with his parents. He does not have a lot of social skills. I have caught him following me around the office and looking at what I am doing, like what mail I put in the outbox or who am I talking with or where I am going in general. His behavior is creepying me out. I can do my job without even talking or speaking with him for weeks and have tried to stay out of his way to see what would happen and it seems this makes his behavior worsen. I find it creepy to come out of the women's restroom to find him leaning against the wall near the men's waiting for me. He then joins me and walks back with me into the office. He watches my emails through the network server (only mine as he moved my and his email to a separate server from everyone else) and watches the websites I go onto and programs I access.
What is the best way to handle this guy? If I tell him to back off, he tells me I am paranoid. And yet this continues.
Follow-up: I went through the official HR channels and filed a complaint. His answer to all of the situations were all 'I have no recollection of this event.' The result has been that it is a he-said, she-said situation and they are backing him as I have no witnesses. At this time, they are also keeping him as my supervisor and as you can imagine he is quite happy with a cocky attitude now.
I am so on edge, I can't sleep through the night and of course, I am desperately looking for a new job. But, in the mean time, he is being shoved down my throat with the 'you have to be able to work together' explanation. I have not at all let this effect my work, which is highly regarded.
But, I really need help in figuring out the best way to handle this as I have really desperate thoughts running through my head and during all this time.
Any advice?
(link)
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Start keeping a journal. Everytime he does something creepy, record it in that journal (please don't keep the journal on your computer.. he could find that. Do a hand written thing, secretly as possible)... you can even ask other people you trust to write down the things they observe and sign and date it. Keep compiling the information. In a couple of more months, file another complaint.Tell them you have been keeping a personal record. See what the outcome is. If they ignore you again, keep doing the same things and file again. You need to be able to communicate to the higher-ups that you are scared and feel threatened. If HR does not handle it, go directly to your boss' boss with a written letter of complaint. Good luck.
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My "boss" is a senior VP at our company. I am really in a stand alone position and he has no idea what I do and couldn't even find the information on our intranet but brought old crap to yesterday's review. He hasn't spoken to me outside of simple meetings for 6 months but has clearly had a lot of conversations with a new employee who's been breathtakingly rude to me (demanding my office, whispering asides during our meetings, etc). He also expects me to do all the work but then encourages people to bypass me so I'm not perceived as the expert. Now he wants to mediate a meeting with this person but clearly he's not an unbiased mediator. We're a small company with a crappy/nonexistent HR function. The guy has worked for the company's owner for some 20 years. Does anyone see an option beyond just finding a decent job? (link)
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Its up to you, but in this economy, I'd try to make the job I have work for me. You could quietly start looking around, but don't quit until you know you have secured another job. In the meantime, kill 'em with kindness! Whatever your boss asks you to do, do it with a big smile on your face and then ask what else you can help with. The employee that is rude to you, begin complimenting her/him, making an extra effort to be kind. Its hard to be an a-hole to someone who is nothing but nice. You may see some interesting things start to change. Good luck!
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He had a scadalous affair and is now having a big wedding. His former wife is still a great friend. (link)
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Discuss it with the ex-wife. Tell you feel torn because she is your friend, and you side with her, but he is family and you don't want to cause any extra drama by refusing to show up. See what your friend has to say. I think you should go, just because family is forever and sometimes its just worth it to grit your teeth and suffer through a bad situation just to keep the peace. But you could go to the wedding ceremony and not the reception. And don't feel obligated to buy a gift. A nice, generic card should do.
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So I literally just committed to a College that is about 33 minutes or so from my house, I am staying on campus. Freshmen were allowed to have cars when I went to visit, but today in the mail I received an email from the college saying there is a no first year students on campus policy now. It says I can appeal, what are some good reasons I can use to appeal?
I'm very angry with this because 90% of the reason I committed was because I can bring a car. I was supposed to get a new car next month! (link)
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Apply to another school or deal with it. But good luck finding a campus that allows freshmen to have cars on campus. That is how most schools are. Its very common. But that doesn't mean you can't drive there, it just means that you have to find a place to park that's off campus. Ask around. Everyone has had to deal with the same problem there, so ask where other people parked during freshman year. If you let this sort of thing throw you for a loop, you're in for a tough time at college. Because there are a lot of changes headed your way. You need to be a problem solver. Don't sweat the small stuff. Look at your options in this situation and choose one that works best for you.
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I am fifteen. Last summer, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I had sex with an ex. It completely erased my mind, really, until in January. My parents found out. They were absolutely ashamed. I could understand why, because I have always been a good child. But then they started treating me like I was a slut. My mom bought me all these old tight shirts that didn't show my body or cleavage, and I went to counseling and the doctor. I was punished, confined in my house with no communication to the outside world.
Two months later. I have my phone back but I am not allowed back on Facebook yet. My parents and I are good, and I am repaired. The most hurt of all this is my stepdad. He didn't talk to me up until March. We have been friendly and like nothing ever happened, laughing and having fun, staying up late together and just spending so much time together. A week ago my mom said he was still upset over me having sex. He said I should apologize. Sure, it was a mistake but I don't think I should apologize...do you?
I want to have his forgiveness. I know there's a pang of hurt when we lock eyes. I don't regret anything, I just wish the situation turned out better. I feel so bad for not being what my parents wanted, but I know they weren't perfect, either, as teens. Should I apologize? And if so, how? I choke every time I want to speak and it can't seem to come out without any tears. (link)
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You made a mistake. But your parents made an even bigger mistake by turning into immature children themselves about the whole thing. Giving you the silent treatment? That's childish. I feel I can say that fairly because I am a parent. I know that they were hurt and disappointed. We all have high hopes and dreams for our kids that they will not make the same mistakes we did. But guess what? We're humans and we all make mistakes. Some are big, some are small, but we all make them, and we all have to make our own choices. At this point, I'm not sure that an apology is what's needed so much as forgiveness. On your part and the part of your parents. You need to be able to sit down with them and have a really honest talk. Start by telling them you know you disappointed them and that makes you feel awful. Ask them for forgiveness. Then tell them that, even though you know you made a mistake, what hurt the most was that they treated you like a bad person. And they are the people that are supposed to love you no matter what. And that really hurt you and made you feel like you can't go to them with your problems anymore. Then tell them that, just as they forgive you, you forgive them, because they are important to you and they love them. If you can't do all that without getting crazy emotional then write it down in a letter first and read the letter out loud to them. Sometimes that helps because you have time beforehand to plan what you want to say and write it out clearly. Then at least, if you do get emotional, those emotions won't get in the way of the meaning of what you want to say. And understand that your parents are just people too. They're not perfect. There's no handbook that comes with babies telling us just the right things to do and say. sometimes we mess up too. But I can tell you one thing - your parents love you more than anything. At least you have that comfort as you talk to them. Good luck!
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So basically I hooked up with this guy the first time we hung out. He was someone I've always had my eye on but thought I would never be good enough for. So when he initiated that he wanted to hookup I had no hesitation to do it. I'm friends with alot of people that know him and say he's a really good guy and not a player or anything like that. We've talked only once since then (it's been about a month). But I'm feeling myself actually wanting to date him. I'll see him during spring break but I'm not really the kinda girl to ask a guy out. I know you can't make someone like you, but I don't want to be remembered as easy because i hooked up with him so fast. I don't think he wants anything serious but me neither. I just want to get to know him better. Like a date.. What should i do? (link)
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"but I don't want to be remembered as easy because i hooked up with him so fast"
Sorry, that ship sailed the night you slept with him. You can't erase a first impression. The only way to get to know him better now is to ask him out on a date and make up your mind that you aren't going to sleep with anyone unless you are in a committed, monogamous relationship first. Another hook-up only solidifies his idea of you as "easy". Sex is good for temporary attention, but long-term interest requires self-control.
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A while back I met this guy. He was handsome, funny, outgoing, honest,reliable and everything else I wanted in a man. One problem he had though, committing to a relationship. He was 18 and had never had a girlfriend, been on many dates probably just for sex. First time we ever hung out he told me, "baby whatever you do, don't fall in-love with me". I should have ran away right at that but I didn't. He fascinated me. After seeing each other for a while. I slept with him. Then the next week, he called and wanted to hang again. I slept with him that night as well. I had sex with him a total of about 5 times. But for the past month. He wont answer my calls. He isn't calling me, nothing. It's like he dropped off the planet. I miss him. What should I do? ); (link)
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What should you do? Start asking yourself why you would be so stupid as to ignore the warnings of a boy who told you straight out that he's not a good guy and he just wants sex. Then start asking yourself what you can do to become a confident and interesting and kind person, so that you attract like-minded people. You got used, girl. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.
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I like thiss guy and he likes me back but there is just one tiny problem he has a girlfriend. He says he is not happy with her but he is waiting for her to break up with him cause he doesnt want to hurt her.But im not sure what to do should i leave it alone or keep liking him? (link)
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Ughh.. what a creep. He doesn't even have the guts to be honest with his girlfriend. It may sound caring on the surface, but really it is quite wimpy and selfish. Leave it alone.
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I asked this guy from my work to go out with me and other friends, and we had a real good time. My friends left and it was just me and this guy for hours, I stayed forever at his house, we made out and other things..
He said he liked me.
I went out of town for a while. When I got back he totally just acted like we were strictly friends. I asked him bout it and he said he didn't want a girlfriend. He promised me though that he really did like me and thinks I'm cool.
So we are friends, we dint kiss, or have any sexual content, but he still asks me to hang with him just to hang out.
and i always catch him looking at me, or just touching me casually, all flirty like.
I dont get him. SO many times I have wanted to kiss him, but I'm scared to bc he made it clear...
I want to be more than friends. What should I do now? (link)
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Uh, duh... you made out with him. Fun for him! I'm sure he *would* like to 'hang out' again and make out with a cute chick without having to deal with the relationship thing. If you're cool with just being a fun hook-up, then fine. But be warned, he has been totally up front with you about what he wants. Don't think you'll be "the one" that changes his mind. Take him at his word and go from there.
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Hi..I'm a 23 y/o female. I've come here to explain my story and hope.. i can find some sort of closure to what's on my mind. I..about..4 weeks ago have been seeing this guy, hes 27. No kids, and his last relationship was a while ago (4-5)years. He's a good guy, picks me up, takes me out. He won't let me pay for anything. We strictly only hang out on the weekends because he works during the week.. early. My schedule is all over the place so it doesn't matter for me, but i wait for those weekends to hang out with him. We've gone out 5 times..and i know it seems weird to take advice so soon, its just, im trying to protect myself from being hurt (once again). See thats my thing, i'm USED to being hurt, falling to fast, questioning everything. I guess you could say now that im a bit paranoid.. and it sucks. So anyway, this last date we had, we went for dinner about almost an hour away, and drove back into town. We then got a room somewhere and you know the story..the next day we went our seperate ways and hung out later that night to the see a movie. I want to know if he wants to make this exclusive. I don't know if i should wait for him to ask me.. orrr if i should be the one to ask about it? I'm not the type to sleep around. I'm pretty sure he likes me but.. we all know sex can change things drastically sometimes. It can make it.. or break it. I wasn't putting me ALL into it, for the mear fact that my neck is sprained lol.. but..I'm not sure how he really feels. It the day after the movies and i text him.. but nothing back. I'm just afraid that's all he wanted??.. and that scares me the most. I like him a lot.. but i feel that my wall needs to rebuild itself all over again if that's all it's going to be. could this be another heartbreak? or is it something to try to pursue? I shouldn't feel afraid to ask.. i mean life's to short anyway right?... but why am i?.. (link)
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So, did you sleep with him? Is "hanging out" code for sex? If yes, there's your problem. You keep getting hurt because you put sex before a relationship. You put the cart before the horse and expect to go somewhere. If you want an exclusive relationship with ANY man you have to take sex off the table until that relationship has developed. Guys are physical creatures. Its not sexist. Its just biology. If you want a man to take the time to get to know you (and love you) then you sure don't give him the one thing he wants more than anything up front. Yes, if you had sex and you aren't even dating and he's not texting you or making an effort to contact you, that's all he wants. Sorry to be blunt, but I feel you deserve some honesty here. Break this off and start thinking about what it is you want from a relationship, and how you can set healthy boundaries for yourself so that the men you are interested in don't think you're just a cute hook-up. Don't even ask him. He's clearly not into you as a girlfriend. Back off and let him wonder. If he cares, he'll ask you what's going on, and then you can be honest with him. If he doesn't care, well, thank God you got rid of him before you fell any deeper into this black hole of emotions.
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my name is Rachel and Iam 21 will be 22 in another month and my boyfriend is 36 I know big age diffrence please don't lecture me. my boyfriend has major trust issues becouse of past relationships one put him in a wheel chair and paralized him for the rest of his life but let's get to my problem everytime I go out with friends or my sister he accuses me of cheationg on him and i've told him that iam not that type of person over and over again. I havn't done anything to break his trust at least not that iam aware of. How can I get him to believe and trust me? (link)
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This is your boyfriend's problem, not yours. You are not doing anything wrong, so its up to him to change his ways, not you. You need to have the guts to explain that to him and let him know if he doesn't get over his jealous ways and give you the trust you've earned, you are out of there. If you don't have the courage, then you need to learn to accept that you are in a relationship with a jealous man-child and learn to live with it. I know what I'd do.
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