I'm Kayla, I'm basically on here to give people my honest &' best advice. Sometimes i need advice too. The only thing you need to know is that i have a boyfriend& a beautiful pitbull that i love with all my heart :D ask away!
Website: THEPRiNCESSiSHERE
E-mail: daylaaa@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia Beach VA
Age: 16
Member Since: December 9, 2006
Answers: 47
Last Update: March 12, 2008
Visitors: 3623
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This will be a long question; apologies, but it's complicated.
Background: I once fell head over heels for a girl (call her "Jane"). She and I were friends, but I lacked the courage to try for more. Right before she moved away, I realized it was my last chance to make a move, so I kissed her goodbye. Later, through letters and phone calls, I told her I was in love with her, and she said she felt the same - though I was never really convinced that she felt as strongly as I did. Eventually, she told me she was involved with someone else, and I broke off contact in order to get over her and move on. We had sporadic communication for a while, then finally lost touch completely.
Fast-forward 15 years. I'm thirtysomething, happily married, have kids, but I've never really forgotten Jane (do we ever forget our first love?) Just for kicks, I entered her name into Google, and to my surprise I actually found her. We exchanged e-mail, and then she called me.
Here's where it starts to get complicated, because I expected we would just say "Hey, it's really great to hear from you again, we should stay in touch, blah blah blah," exchange abbreviated versions of our lives so far, and then more or less go back to what we were doing. What I never expected in a million years was that she's actually been thinking about me all this time, that she's still in love with me, and that (to be brutally honest) I've still got strong feelings for her.
I LOVE MY WIFE. I would never leave her, or jeopardize my marriage. I recognize that whatever feelings I have for Jane, they're based on an idealized version of someone I put on a pedestal twenty years ago, and haven't seen since. My question is NOT about whether I should explore an intimate relationship with Jane at this point - the answer to that is "No."
What I need is advice on how to handle this from here. Jane does mean a lot to me and I want to be a friend to her (real friends, not "we can just be friends"), but I don't want to break her heart. Furthermore, I don't want my wife to get the wrong idea (she knows that I got back in touch with Jane - I don't keep secrets from her). No matter how I slice it, I don't see this turning out well. If I had ever considered that Jane might still feel so strongly about me, I would not have resumed contact with her, but what's done is done. Heck, I never really thought she was EVER truly in love with me, let alone that she still is!
In a nutshell -
- I want to avoid breaking Jane's heart.
- I want to stay in touch with her, because she's someone I care about.
- I want to assure my wife that she is still, and always, the real love of my life and more important than anything to me.
Can anyone help me?
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I'm here to help you, don't worry.
Look the way i see it is Jane broke your heart; she told you she found someone else when you wanted to be with her. Now she wants you back, well that's just too bad. Nomatter how she feels you have a life now and your married so she has no choice but to accept it. When you talk to her next, just explain nicely to her about all the stuff i'm giving you advice on now. You have to tell her how you feel and she may take it the wrong way but there is nothing you can do. I'm a girl myself, and i've did that to someone before. I told them i was still in love with them but i truly wasn't. I don't believe she still loves you, if she loved you she would of took the chance she had along time ago. Hope i helped.
PK
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I live in the dorms with a roommate at my college. My roommate is wonderful and she's really sweet, BUT she has really bad body odor. I don't know what causes it because she showers everyday and stuff, but she smells just awful and so does her side of the room.
At first, I thought it was just the room we were in, so I bought a bunch of air fresheners and I kept the window open to kind of air out the room. It worked for a little while, but it came back and I think it's because of her. I've noticed she never does laundry other than her work clothes and she never wears socks (like ever) so the smell is possibly coming from her feet.
I cannot move because I've already moved once this year and it would be too much to move again.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to be rude to her, but I don't want my stuff to start smelling like her either. Is there any way I can talk to her about it? Should I buy her socks as a gift or something?
I really can't stand to hurt her feelings. :( (link)
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I think you should sit down and have a talk with her. She should understand but if she doesn't and gets all mad then she must like smelling bad. Go around her side and try to find what stinks.
PK
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I've recently started a relationship with this guy. He's in a dance group and has told me that his ex still had feelings for him & he still liked her a little. I was hurt but in the end he "chose" me. I hated to even be in that situation. I told him to go with her if he really felt that way. I hated it.
Anyways. He talks to my friends and told my best friend that they're sharing a hotel this weekend because they are in a dance company and there's a competition. (There will be other people there, too.)
Soooo.... I don't know how to approach the situation. I don't think he knows I know because I haven't mentioned it to him. The relationship is fresh and I don't want to come across as being ... I don't know. I just don't know to what extent I should take it or if I should even mention it? (link)
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Im going to tell you right now ... you should be worried and you should expect the worse because when you put ex's together things are bound to happen unless they hate each other totally. You should let him know how you feel, your with him now and if he wants to be with you then he don't need to be talking to her anyways. Be straight forward with him just not rude about it.
PK
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how do you get rid of KILLER cramps? like so bad you can't even function? and my boyfrend always asks what he can do to help. any suggestions i can tell him? (link)
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Try using a heating pad, and i recommend pamprin.
Also i find by massaging the area helps ease them alittle bit. There really isn't much your boyfriend could do ... hope i helped.
Kayla
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this is kind of an akward question
but i always have this fear that i smell
like, at the end of the day, i sweat alot. sure, i wear deodarant, but i feel like it doesn't work.
and then, its like i'm constantly discharging, because if i don't wear a pad, my "fly" area smells like pee.
what should i do to avoid smelling?
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Theres plenty of things you can do.
1. Try spraying perfume or something not so strong around your area, don't spray it directly on there though.
2. Try Vagisil.
3. Go to your Gynocoligyst.
4. Wash down there really good.
I constantly discharge too, but i don't smell down there.
Kaylaa
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Usually I don't have many fever blister outbreaks (maybe once every three years even) but recently I've had a few back-to-back episodes. They are really annoying and painful. I'm wondering if anyone can give me some remedies for healing one and for the prevention of another outbreak.
I've seen some products in the stores but I'm not sure what is really useful and if there are any online products or home remedies worth trying. (link)
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herpecin L or whatever its called works. they will be gone in like 3 days!
PK
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I recently purchased a product to strip the dirt in the pores of my nose out. The product is similar to Biore but is an off-brand called Nu-Pore. It came in a pack of three nose strips and it says not to use more than once every three days. I'm curious if I'm suppose to use one every three days though because the first one I used didn't really do anything. Am I suppose to use all three of them (each being applied three days from each other)?
If that isn't the case and it's just not a good product, should I dish out the money for Biore nose strips or are they not worth it either? (link)
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No i tried the Biore kind, they don't work. I mean they take a couple black heads out but i recomend trying a diffrent kind.
PK
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if i have cervical cancer, and get remove and curable, it that mean i can't get pregant? (link)
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No you can still get pregnant. I know this from some one that used to have cervical cancer and she got it cured.
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15/Female.
My mom was telling me that I was fat and I should seriously exercise but I don't understand why she keeps on saying that since she ain't so skinny herself. I weigh 109 and I am just about 5"6.
Yesterday, I thought about what my mom said and decided I needed to exercise [On My Treadmill]. After about 2 hours, I stopped and I looked at myself in the mirror and realized how fat I was and started to make myself vomit. I can't stop now. How can I loose weight without throwing up? And how do I stop? (link)
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watch DR.PHIL on monday. Channel 4 i believe around 3pm. I live in Missouri i dont know what your times are where you live but please watch that!
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Ok my brother [16/m] has been making huge mistakes with his life since he's started hanging out with some friends a few years ago. They all dress in black, and some have piercings. They act crazy ALL the time, within their group. They also smoke. It varies from one person to the next, but they all do some sort of drug.
Now, my brother was fine in 6th-7th grade. When he met these people at the end of 7th grade was when it all started. He started to dress in all black too. He started spitting hateful words at my mother and usually making her cry and go talk to my dad. My dad has always been my brother's "favorite parent", so my dad had an easy time talking to him and telling him not too do it again.
At first, it worked, and my brother didn't cuss at my mom for a month or so. Then he started up again, being sweet when he wanted something and cussing at my mom whenever he got it. Nowadays, my dad has been having to sit down with him and talk more and more often, and my brother disrespects my mother the day after he and my dad have a talk! This has been going on for years now, pulling me and my brother's relationship farther and farther apart.
We used to be REALLY tight. Then, he began ignoring me. He never talked to me, never looked at me, whatever. He wasn't mad at me, he just began to see me more as a "little sister" than as a "best friend". Last summer, however, he began to talk to me. Whether it was from his lack of friends, due to the vacation, or his boredom, we started hanging out again. We made jokes and talked just like the old days. I love being so close to him, and you usually don't find a sister and brother get along so well and everything. We hung out every day and stayed up for hours at night just talking, or playing video games and whatnot. Then, towards the end of the summer, he began telling me what he was doing. He said it casually, like it was no big deal. The first act was, him and his friends were at his friend's house, and they were digging in his grandfather's things. They found a cigar, dipped it in cough syrup, and smoked it. He told me all of this as if it was the most normal thing. I couldn't believe he would do that.
Then it was time for school again, and I was worried. He would be in highschool and hanging out with these friends. He's always had a very short temper, but that year, everything got out of control. We were still friends, and he still talked to me about everything, so I always knew what kind of crazy things he did. He began to come home angry all the time. He would yell at my mom and cause her to cry and yell, and he would get to the point of almost hitting her. Then he would punch walls or break things or slam doors, and just run out of the house. Then my mom would call my dad and he would come home early and drive around trying to find him. This was everything on the worst nights, but things weren't necessarily happy all the time either. This madness lasted for a while and then my brother drove my parents into a divorce.
Now, I'm NOT blaming him for the divorce, but I'd definitely say he was a small portion of it. He was absolutely terrifying. I can't even imagine what it is like for my sisters, who are 7 and 8. Even when they are just talking, he screams at them to shut up and cusses at them. He absolutely hate them. When he does that my mom will monotonously remind him not to, but then he'll argue back and yell at her. He's caused my sisters to cry many times.
And currently, He has told me he does Pot. He said, once, that he'd never do anything like it, but he is. He and I are still friends, but I have become the familie's peacemaker.
My parent's divorce has served as an excuse for my brother for him to do all of this. He has also come to the conclusion that he's an Athiest [Which i'm NOT saying is a bad thing]. I do not believe he is an atheist. I think he believes he is because all of his friends are and he has the thought in his head that atheists can do whatever they want with no consequences. He doesn't understand that not all atheists do bad things.
My mom vents to me after her and my brother have a fight and he runs out. My brother vents to me when we stay up late at night talking. My dad vents to me when I stay at his house every other weekend. I'm each of their personnal counselors, I talk everything through with them and point things out.
I know that our family is beyond the point of no return. Every one in our family has moved on from the divorce except my brothr, who still uses it as an excuse. I have talked to him about his Pot issue, but he claims he is not addicted, and that it is not harming him. I know it's not that nig of a drug, compared to others, but I also know that it is a "Gateway drug". He said he'll never do anything like Meth or one of those drugs, but he's lied about those things before, like when he said he'd never do pot. I'm pretty sure my parents are vaguely aware that he does pot, but they are in denial, and don't want to accuse him of something they don't have proof of.
My youngest sister, who is 7, has been catching some of these bad habits from my brother. She has a short temper also, and yells all the time. I know this is typical child behavior, but i'm still watching her. I just don't know how to handle all of this. How do I get him to stop? I've talked to him numerous times, and my parents are considering military school! I don't know what to do!
I know I wrote an essay. Sorry, but it's hard to explain 3-4 years of my life and be "brief" about it.... please help. I'll rate you just for taking the time to read all of this. I just want him to stop. (link)
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If your brother has been doing all this stuff before your parents decided to get an divorce than he can't use that as an excuse even if he tries. It's just common sense. And you need to get that through to him. I can assure you that the friends he is hanging around does have a big affect on how he has changed through the years. And they will continue to make an impact untill someone finds a way to stop him from hanging out with them. Studys show that a kid that tries pot will try or mabe become addicted to other drugs in the future. Marijuana can be addicting to some people and not so addicting to others. Take me for example, i smoke everyday; 100x a day and i am not an addict. When i don't have weed, i don't freak out or anything. He on the other hand could be addicted but that you will probably never be able to find out unless you try hard anough. I understand you are probably so upset that you and him aren't so close anymore, but there is really nothing you can do to change the path he has chose to walk on. Your parents aren't strict anough obviously, instead of your mom crying she should ground him and if he leaves the house; call the cops. He is not 18 years old so therefore your parents have total control if they choose to have it. I know this might not be what you want to hear but boot camp is deffently the question so you should pressure your parents to make him go. He'll be away from all his friends and that might change him. Plus them people will whip him into shape so he isn't so disrespectful. Without boot camp i don't know what will change him. Hope i helped. Hes introuble and to me it sounds like your the source to fix him.
PK
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I smoke marijuana and cigarettes, and I'm about to get on birth control.
I know that smoking on birth control is bad, and it increases risks of heart attack, I'm 16 years old btw. I was just wondering does it change the effectiveness of birth control. Like will it not work as well if I smoke while I'm on it. (link)
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nope. smoking will not make a diffrence. I was worried about it too. hope i helped.
Kayla
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okay so for some reason my tampons hurt when i pull them out...is this normal. and this is the first period that i've actually used a tampon (link)
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yes it's normal. It's just like anything else, you have to get used to it before it doesn't hurt anymore. I've been using tampons for 3 yrs now and they still hurt when i pull them out. the pain depends on how dry you are in the inside, like it your bleeding heavy then it won't hurt at all but if your just getting off your period it will most likely hurt more when you pull it out. Hope i helped.
Princess Kayy
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LETs call him fred =]
okay so everyday fred always looks at me and when i look at him he quickly looks away. i kind of like him but idk we rarely talk and its just weird. do u think he likes me? no one just naturally turns around (he sits in front of me) and stares (link)
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true, so ya he most likely likes you. Now you just have to talk to him if you want to get with him.
Princess K
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How do I know when I first get my period?? (link)
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you'll probably start getting cramps which can either be extemely painful; or not so painful around your bladder area. You'll get this brown looking discharge in your underwear and that's how you deffently know. ;] hope i helped.
Kaylaaaa
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So, last night, I had a little to drink and I had a random hookup with one of my friend's friends. We didn't have a condom, and I have been on birth control for a month last night. The sex didn't last long at all, he got off and pulled out. I'm wondering since I've not been on birth control other than a month if there's going to be a possibility of pregnancy? (link)
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it's a really slim chance espeacially if he pulled out.
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i've never had sex but i've been fingered before. but when i was i didn't cum - i dont know what it feels like when i do or like how i do. i dont get it. he hfingerd me for a while and i just couldnt cum .. whats wrong with me (link)
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absolutly nothing is wrong with you. Personally, it takes me a while to cum and when you do you will know it because its a great feeling.
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well i'm not gonna lie...i'm a horny little thing. i mean not just some little thing sets me off but when i get horny nothing can stop me. and lately i've developed different feelings. i wonna have sex.
all my friends have had sex, fingured, gave head, etc etc. i'm a good girl and i'm tired of it. it sucks. i wonna do it, but i'm scared. (link)
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Don't rush thing's because you are young. Make sure that when you do choose to loose your virginity that it is with the right person and that you use protection. From my personal experience, when i lost my virginity everything seemed ok, untill a couple years later i started wishing i would of waited till i got married. All the advice i can give you is if you want to have sex and do other sexual things then do them. What is stopping you?
Kaylaaa
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I do not like my dad at all. And, I dont know why. I never want him to go anywhere with me, talk to me, or anything. Its really strange, cause I cant think of why. I loveeeee my mom. But, whenever my dad tries helping me with stuff I just roll my eyes and say nevermind. The only thing I can think of is maybe because he is the one who straps me with a belt for a bad grade, or for a phone call home from school.
I hate him.
Is this really strange?
Any suggestions or advice?
Thanks (link)
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If my dad hit me with a belt for a bad grade then i would hate him too. So no, it isn't that strange. You should try explaining to him why you don't like him, i'm pretty sure he knows by now. Then mabe he will stop hitting you with a belt.
Kaylaaa
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whats with people and the obsession with hookah nowadays? isnt it as bad as cigarettes? it seems like group smoke or something with a giant bong except its not for mj. any info about this would be appreciated. where do people get this stuff and what is put into it?
(for research project at school - i will get facts online but i need like info from people in the know about their school surroundings and who i hang out with dont do this or know about this stuff) thanks! (link)
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You can smoke either marijuana or tabaco in a hookah. You can get them at headshops. I have never smoked out of one so i don't have much information but i hope i helped.
Kayla
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where can i buy sandpaper? (link)
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home depot, or any hardware store for that matter ;]
Princess Kaylaaa
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