I really want to tone up my stomach for summer. Does anyone know any really good exercises to help me achieve this? Thanks a lot.
It depends on what your going for, and where your coming from.
If you're trying to get rid of a little flab, "target exercises" don't work. Doing crunches to get rid of your tummy flab, or squats to get rid of your butt dimples. However, doing those exercises WILL make those areas look good after the flab is gone. To get rid of the flab you have to burn more calories than you take in.
If you want tone; less weight/repetitions, more sets.
If you want to build muscle; more weight(or reps), less sets.
The woman with the most killer abs I have ever seen (and by killer I mean toned and sexy, not bulky) said that she ran/jogged a lot and did inverted sit ups, which are upside down sit ups where you hang from the ceiling and pull your body upwards.
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Hi, my name's Rae. I'm 18 years old, female, and I'm of 100% Korean decent. I have the most amazing fiance, Christian. He's 19, male, and super Irish (He even has red hair!). Anyways, the point that I'm trying to get at is that we're obviously different nationality wise. We're in an interracial relationship and a lot of people seem to be bothered by it! I honestly don't understand what's so wrong with us. We love eachother and I don't think your ethnicity or skin color have anything to do with it. So, I was wondering what kind of opinions any of you have about this subject matter. All advice is welcome, but please be serious and honest. Thank you!
With all the social commentaries and political correctness going on in today's society, most of these advicenators have got it right: Love is what counts. I would say 18/19 is a little young for marriage, but it does happen.
Skin color is social, love is emotional. In this respect, it's okay for interracial relationships. As for me personally, I despise the word. Race? WTF does that matter? The heart has no color. We are all people and we all have the same emotions. We all create and develop relationships.
And even though interracial couples are given the most attention (and difficulty), the same could be said of good friends. It's not about what they look like, it's about who they are. Some people are more comfortable with people who do the same activities, listen to the same music, wear the same cloths or look the same as they do. I don't admire those who say "I have this friend who's black..." or "I have this friend who's white..." But I admire those who see their friends for who they are, and say "I have this friend..." And then you meet them, and they are just as great as what was said.
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15/f
Okay so there is this boy lets call him S. Well last year i kinda feel hard for him. And not just infatuation, but love. I had told him once how i felt. We always hung out. And he came to my house once or twice. One night last year i asked S to come to the movies with me, he said "Ill see what I could do" so i was like hes prolly not gonna come but Ill go with my friends anyways. But on my way out of the movie theather I saw him walking in with some other girl lets call her A. Well he looked surprised to see me, but i just walked away and never talked to him until this year. But that night and the next day he called me about five times, although now he tells me that he wasnt guily about nothing, but why would he call me like that? But tonight we were talking and the subject of sex came up, and now he is with A. he was talking about there sex life, and i jut cut him off like i really dont wanna hear about yall. He was like why? its not like anything went on between us. I said Yeah that sucks. Then he focussed on what I had said. He was like what did you mean by that. I said nothing. He was like oh you wanted to do shit like that. I was like naw but I wanted to be more than just friends you know. And he was like I didnt know you liked me like that when i had told him before. I was like yeah, I wouldve done anything for or with you back then I was in love with you, and I hated you for wat you did to me. He was like oh well I think we should have sex. I was like no thats alright, you get it from your girl everynight. He said but its not you. I didnt understand what he meant by that. I mean I still love him, even though I wouldnt let anyone know it. But i wanna know if he likes me or ever did. Like I would have sex with him but like not just come out and say it. Like i wanna tell him to come pick me up by his self cause I got a surprise for him. Do you think Im setting my self up for trouble or what?
Sorry so long, its just Ive been through so much with him lol, theres way more butt this is the important things :] thank you
I agree with junebug. Yeah, some guys can actually fall in love at a young age, (I did) but the sad truth is most of them are sex-driven horn dogs. If on the off chance there might be some small probability that he actually does like you (guys are thick headed "I never knew that" even though you you told him once, was probably the truth. Sometimes they don't get the hint, you gotta be blunt) Make him prove it: 1.) Break up with girl A, and 2.) Make him wait. No sex. Words, actions, even an engagement ring shouldn't be able to buy sex. I would say if he loves you he can wait at least a year and a half for sex, despite being a horn dog.
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okay well this is what always seems to happen we start to like each other and then last minute when he seems to know hes got me falling for him fast again. he just leaves it at that. and it just seems to end just like that. and i really like him. and i want to go out with him again. and his best friend told me he likes me again. but today he seemed to not show it like he normally does. and i didnt want him to see that it bothered me. i wanted it to make it look like i was used to it. but i just need to know what to say to him or how to react to this situation. but it always seems to get to me. and im not sure what to do at this point.
thanks in advance ! (=
I don't see your age in there so I'm going to guess mid teens. The problem with dating at that age is most guys are immature. Not to diss them, that's just how they are. You said "when he seems to know..." which to me sounds like an assumption. Does he know? Is he being insensitive and cruel or is he just oblivious? Another thing about guys: some aren't very good at picking up on others emotions, some aren't good at showing emotions, and most aren't good at (or just won't) talk about there emotions.
So you say you're not sure what to do at this point. I wouldn't be either. Find out how he feels first, then go from there. Maybe he loves you but is afraid of commitment, maybe he's afraid he won't measure up, maybe he's just thick headed. Maybe (but hopefully not) he's a jerk. You won't know until he tells you. So how to get that information?
Ask him in private. Guys (myself included) don't like emotional turmoil, especially when others are around. Asking him in the school hallway or cafeteria or wherever his friends or your girlfriends could hear is not a good idea.
Put yourself out there. Something in the nature of a man makes it unable for him to bear the suffering of a loved one. Even if he HATES talking about his feelings, if he sees it's really bothering you, and he's a man, he will suck it up and talk to you about it. If he doesn't, either a.) he doesn't care about you, or b.) he cares but he is too afraid/young/immature and you will either have to wait until he grows up or deal with this kind of behavior for a while until he does.
NEVER sweep your feelings under the rug. That's the surest way to wreck a relationship. Making it seem like it doesn't bother you may make him "comfortable" but it doesn't help either of you in the long run.
Hope that helps, and good luck
-Evan
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Okay i have this problem and im like really mad at my sister...i have the game Zelda The Phantom Hour Glass for my nintendo DS and i was at the end of the game tryin to beat it...but then my sister took my nintendo when i was gone and deleted my file and started her own!!!! i am still VERYYYY mad and i want to know is there ANNNNNNYYYYY was possible that you can some how get it back...this has happened before with my super mario game and my sister deleted it and somehow it came back! can someone please tell me if you can and do this and how!!! ANY help is appreciated thanks!!!
How about instead of trying to get the file back, you tell your sister that you're very upset, but you forgive her, because it's just a silly video game and there are more important things in life than games. Like relationships.
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My wife and I had been married for over four years.
I have ADD and high anxiety which I'm not taking medication for.
I had a pretty good paying job but was laid off early 1n 2007.
My eyes started giving me problems before the lay off but I did get them checked out while I still had insurance.
Found out this year that both of my eyes have cataracts. I've attempted working at three jobs but my eye sight prevented me from passing the probationary period.
Here's my issue. I had a step daughter that had always found a ways into getting into trouble. Everything you asked her not to do, she went ahead and done. The computer she would stay on Instant messaging, My spacing all her friends till early morning.
I gave her so many chances but she proved to me she didn't care.
Her mother and I constantly fought about her because every time I tried to lay the Law down, the discipline was always to severe.
Even if it was just a few weeks without the computer.
Then she started on the phone..the same thing.
My wifes daughter wouldn't barely do any thing in the house.
And after her mother and I told her we expected more from her since she was 16, like washing clothes, doing the dishes...she made sure she washed only her stuff when begged, ( and if she washed three loads of clothes, it would take over three days and then you'd never find them put away) until I got so tired and fed up with her and the way me and her mother fought all of the time because how she ran the house, I made her move out when she turned 18 and graduated.
My step daughters every other word was profanity, and I don't think that she once told her mother or me the truth.
And Lord if you found her in a lie ( which was always ) she would cover it up with another one. She never admitted to anything she done. From bringing guys over when her mother and I were gone, to finding a ways to explain why she messed around with her best friends boyfriend.
Well, My father and mother passed away with cancer. And I made sure that no body smoked in the house. My wife and I don't smoke.
My wife invited her brother over ( or he invited his self ) and in both houses we used to live in, he smoked in each one, not caring.
And my wife let him and to this day, if he wanted to visit...I'm sure the same thing would have happened.
Well again, on Christmas eve of 2007, her daughter wanted to spend the night with us, to be there on Christmas. She smoked.
When I went down to visit my family in Alabama, mysteriously as it sounds, my wife let her daughter move back in knowing full well we never got along. Knowing full well her daughter never listened to one rule of the house, never helped out.
Then one day out of the many fights that broke out in the few months her daughter stayed there, my wife asked me to leave. And I did.
Amy, was I asking to much? Showing respect seems to be a thing of the past in today's society, but the way my wife handled each situation, and the way her daughter and her whispered and told there secrets, was it fair or justified at the way things were handled?
It seems as though the many things I accused her daughter of doing, my wife finally told me that yes, she did smoke pot, yes she was smoking in every room in the house when she ( her mother ) was in the hospital, yes, she fooled around with boys when we weren't there.
But instead of digging in deep and finally sticking up to her guns
and giving discipline to her daughter, it was easier to let me go.
What are the parameters of a marriage? Just because a person has children, does that erase the morality or any since of any opinion I may have had? I love her mother very much, but would I be asking for more heart ache if I tried pursuing this marriage. I don't want to walk away from this marriage. To me I think the Lord gave her to me, I'll get counseling and change anything I can.
But if I'm going to be the only one who'll attempt to change, will
this be visible?
Thank you
First off, thank you for putting yourself out there and asking for help, not many guys do these days; they just cut and run. Secondly, While I'm a mature man in a serious relationship, I have no kids so the only angle I can pull from (and probably the better choice in this case) is that of a son.
There's the growing-up issue. My dad COMMANDED respect when I was little and I agreed with it(now AND back then). But as I grew up I began to see my dad's faults. And I reasoned to myself; "If he doesn't do this, why should I?" Or; "I should do this cuz he SAYS, but other than that, there's no substantial reason so I wont." etc. As much as my dad pissed me off when I was a teen I still loved him. And I still do.
And then there's the step-daughter issue. That shouldn't matter but it probably does. Mom's opinion (and correct me if I'm wrong) probably matters more than yours. Therefore, if MOM doesn't listen to you, why should she?
Which brings us to the marital issue. The bible says "A house divided unto itself cannot stand" I wish I could take credit for that line, but I can't. But it's still true. If mom and dad fight, kids fight. Kids (even teenagers who "make their own decisions") take their cues from mom and dad.
Being a rebellious teen aside, coming from a broken home is rough. Growing up, learning, being responsible, social issues, those all come with age and practice. Learning how to love comes from the family, and if its a broken home she has as an example, she'll have a tough time at it.
Our job (as adults) is to teach and have patience with those that are younger than us. Teens (and young adults) have a tough time being open with their elders, that's just the way it is. Maybe she can't forgive you yet, maybe she can't forgive mom yet, and you're just collateral damage. Maybe she can't forgive her biological father and she's taking it out on you, I don't know. What I do know is if you forgive her for being less than perfect, and love her for who she is, and love her long enough, she'll see it, and come around. As far as the cigarettes go, whats more important in life, a house or the people that are in it? I hate it when people wreck my stuff too; I paid for it, but hey, it's just stuff.
It's not the house you care about though is it? It's the lack of respect. On that note, I have a recommendation for you: A book called
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs. and it's by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Good luck, I'm praying for you
-Evan
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I like this guy and a few of my friends and I go to his house alot. We've been going for almost a month now. But everytime a certain person calls his phone(I think it's his ex) he won't tell her that I'm there. He'll say the others that are there, but not me. And when I ask him about it he just says that the person would get mad if I was there. Anyways to figure out a way to talk to him about it without like complaining?
To answer the last question first: Tone of voice.
Tone of voice is one of the most difficult things to control and also a different thing to interpret. Make sure to let him know how you feel first and then what you want to know and why. I would tell him how I feel and then ask him who it was. It doesn't really matter who it is though, if you like him and he likes you.
To tackle the "unspeakable" problem you have to understand about lies. Lies have motivation; guilt, fear, greed, etc. and as far as I'm concerned, deliberately leaving out information is the same as lying. (to tell the truth, the WHOLE truth and nothing but...)
If you aren't doing anything wrong, you shouldn't have to lie. So either he feels guilty for hanging out with you or he's afraid of the trouble that that person will cause if they knew.
If it was me, and I cared about you, I would tell that person on the other line how it is.
Good luck,
-Evan
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I posted this yesterday as well, but I was looking around this morning and saw your response to someone's question. You seem like an honest helpful guy, and I could really use a guys persepective. My bf and I dated for 2 years. We always said we'd be together forever. This was a very mature relationship and I loved him. We broke up last summer because he said he wasnt sure about how he felt anymore. Right after we broke up, he said he knew he still loved me, I told him it was too late. Today we've been broken up for about 4 months and I know I'll always still love him. When I ask his is he has any feeling left for me he always says idk. We talk just as much as we did when we were dating and he hasnt liked anone since.. apparently. What does all this mean? Should I just forget about having hope? Might there be a chance that everything we had isnt gone forever? I always think about him and can't move on to anyone else. Any answers would be greatly appreciated, and you don't need to try to make me feel good by being gentle about it, if it sounds to you like he'll never like me and I should just give up, please feel free to be blunt about it, I just really love him and don't know what to do. Thanks a ton!
Wow. I haven't been on advicenators for like, a year. Now, if it's been a year, and you still care for him, drop me a line with any new info and I'll be happy to help you out.
-Evan
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My boyfriend and i have been going out since june but a couple of weeks ago i broke up with him bc i heard he was flirting with other girls but then we stated going back out like a week later and the night we started going out again i heard that this new kid...(who is really hot and the smartest kid in our grade and the best at all sports) likes me and i really like him but idk what i would do if me and my bf broke up again because i really do love him and idk what to do because all these guys start liking me this year and i have no idea what to do!!
Pretty much those two said what I was going to say: Do your homework before you make a decision. The only thing I can add is that it would be pretty mean to jerk your boyfriend around like that if you were wrong, don't you think?
Also, you have plenty of time to date whoever it is you want to date. Never date more than one at a time. LOL.
Good luck
-Evan
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How can you tell if your girlfriend will become a whore and cheat in the future?!?!? What are some signs to lookout for now?!?!?
Thanx!!!
Sorry dude. In love there are no guarantees. A known slutty cheating girl can turn over a new leaf (though it's rare it CAN happen.), and a perfectly sweet loyal innocent girl can make a mistake and cheat on you if you don't love her right. Unfortunately, no one can see into the future and there is no way to control someone else's actions.
If she's a heavy flirt and doesn't see any problems with hanging out with other guys just as much or more than she does with you, I'd say dump her. Not only is it cheaters' behavior, but it's really not appropriate or respectful of your feelings either is it?
Cheating can be for fun or it can be emotional, and it's only the latter that you can help prevent. Even still, the dicision to trust is up to you.
Good luck
-Evan
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honestly
is a 3.95 weighted gpa bad?
i dont know if i can apply to schools like nyu with it
No. 3.95 is pretty good. Not that it matters much: School is over-rated. You can make more money applying yourself to an endevour than you can wasting time, getting a degree, getting a mediocre job, and then paying off the debt. Student loan, car loan, mortgage. (Because graduates with real jobs can afford houses right??) In the age of the internet, fortunes can be made overnight. You just have to know where to look.
Keep your eyes open, be positvie. Good luck.
-Evan
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Why am i so horny and what do i do about it.
Probably becuase you are young. "Raging horomones" and all that. Old people can be horny too though. Sex is just that powerful.
I would say do something productive. Don't just do something to distract yourself. Distractions often loose thier interest: especially when compared to sex. Doing something productive however, almost always demands focus. Once you get the focus off of being horny, you will not have only solved your problem, but done something constructive in the mean time.
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How old should i be to have it
It sounds like you're asking persmission. Unfortunately, it's not so cut-and-dry. Sex is just one of those things that you can't allow just because of age, physical maturity, or body type. It takes emotional maturity as well.
Look at it this way: Are you mature enough to get married? Would you? Just because you can doesn't mean you should. If you're not mature enough to get married, you're not mature enough to have sex. Not that sex REQUIRES marriage, per se, but it's on the same emotional level. If you're not ready, wait. Unless you want to hurt yourself in the long run.
Hope that helps somewhat...
-Evan
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http://www.bennettsclothing.com/images/citiz_kelly_co_rear.jpg
thanks =]
Citizens of Humanity
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How do I get thighs like hers?
http://image53.webshots.com/553/9/41/91/2306941910098979063mhLoCA_fs.jpg
Swimming and jogging are both good ways to get thighs, along with squats (Those work your butt too! Bonus!) I'm a hot-blooded, testosterone-drivin, manly man, and an artist, and I gotta tell you: Those thighs don't do it for me visually or emotionally. Good torso, but those thighs are too thin(visually, no curves), and to flabby and weak looking. (I would want a girl who could keep up with me if we took a romantic weekend hiking through the mountians.)
Seriously though, swimming is a great workout, and squats do wonders for the thighs and butt.
If you worry about your health, looks will fall into place without you worring about them.
Hope that helps...
-Evan
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15/f
god i hate living. it's been this way since i was 13- i have living. I can't stand it. I'm sick of waking up in the morning with nothing to look foreward to. Crying and eating is all i'm good for. Nothing brings me joy- absolutely nothing. I've tried everything- therapy, counseling, cutting... EVERYTHING.
nothing helps me.
i want to die so badly just to escape this living hell that we call life- but the problem is i can't bring myself to ever do it because i'm afraid of the freaking pain.
i don't have any friends or a boyfriend. no one knows me, if they did- they'd hate me.
i have depression/anxiety problems, ADD intattentive type, a metabolic disorder, and a social phobia. No one in real life knows this exept my therapist.
what should i do. im crying even as i write this. it's just gone on for too long. 2 freaking years.
I hear you.
"depression/anxiety problems, ADD intattentive type, a metabolic disorder, and a social phobia."
You described me 2 years ago. I was a reck. If I didn't have that one friend to get me through it, I would have been where you are now without a doubt. There's hope. I lived through it, you can too.
I'm not going to feed you some "It's not worth it" psyco-babble bullshit line. This is your life we're talking about here. No room for bullshit. Listen up.
You're 15. I'm 21. I'm older and more expierenced than you, but not old enough to be "one of them". There is no way I would ever call myself an adult.
But I've been there. I've been where you are. I've felt how you feel. I STILL struggle with depression. ADD is a pain in my ass every day. My "best friend" that got me through it all is gone now, spending most of his time with a girl that doesn't fit the description of who I want to have as a friend. Now who have I got? I'm in a friend-shift right now. I don't know who my friends are, I don't connect with the friends I have on a personal level, and the people who I would like to have as friends don't have the time of day to spend with me. So what am I to do? Hell if I know. Life is tough, but I'm tougher. The tough times can suck my balls when I'm done with them.
To throw it all away at 15 is a horrible waste of life. I know if I ended it at 15, everyone I know would be worse off for it. My best friend would have had no one to lean on for 6 years. My dad would fall back into the depression he has succeeded on clawing his way out of. My mom probably would have killed herself. People who I don't even know, who to them I have given "priceless advice" would probably have ended up making bad decisions. I would never have had a positive impact on any of them.
That's part of the problem. Sometimes we think too often of ourselves. We think "My life is so bad, nobody is helping me." When what we should be doing is helping others. We think "She doesn't love me anymore" or "He doesn't love me anymore" when what we should be thinking is "How can I make HER day brighter?", "How can I make HIM feel loved?" I've felt like there is no joy in the world, and that there is no hope. I was wrong. When I took the focus off my self, focused on someone else, and helped THEM, I found greater joy than I could have ever recieved waiting for it to happen to me. Period.
Don't forget. I've been where you are, I've felt how you felt, but I don't feel that way now. Maybe that's why I went through what I went through; to help you. Maybe that's why you're going through what you went through. Maybe when you're 21, feeling fine, you'll be able to help a depressed 15-old-girl who has no one to lean on but you.
Focus on someone else. Do something for someone else. Help someone else. It will change your life.
With love, hope, and sincere respect
-Evan
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I'm going to go on birth control. I haven't had my period for a few months due to losing a lot of weight & being a bit underweight. I heard you gain weight from the pill. Why is this & what kind of weight do you actually gain?? Is it more stored fat or water retention or what?? I really am afraid of this because I think its so artificial. I rather just eat more food rather than gain weight from a pill. It really scares me. Can anyone give their own advice/opinion on this situation or personal experiences?? Thanks!!
Metabolism, weight gain, wheight loss, dieting, trying to get more energy, trying to get better curves etc... The funny thing is most people say DIETS! You're eating the wrong kind of food! Diet pill! Blah blah blah. Three meals a day, 5 food groups. That's all you need to know.
The secret is this: Exercise. WHAT!?!?!?!?! Shea. Go figure. Never hungry? Exercise: It will make you hungrier. Want to gain weight? Eating too much will make you fat, and you will somehow be lacking the stamina to get through the day despite the extra calories. If you're worried about being too skinny; build muscle. Muscle wieghs a heck of a lot more than fat does; that's why many smokin hot babes think they are fat, that they think they "weigh too much".
Don't start poppin' pills unless your doctor recommends it. Not only is it a cheap cop-out answer, but it could be dangerous if you don't know how or why to do it.
Good luck, hope all goes well.
-Evan
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I liked this guy, and he ended up liking me back. So we hung out a few times, and I got dared to kiss his friend and so I did. Then he was saying that he thinks I like him and we should go out. So told him I kinda of liked him though, and he said he did too,but he could never really see us as more then friends because whenever we hung out, it was really awkward. :(
I still really like him, and I want to know if theres anyway to get him to like me back again?
The thing is he doesn't really talk as much anymore now that he doesn't like me. What should I do? =\
Getting a guy to like you shouldn't be work. If it is, it's usually one of two things. Circumstantial: He's too focused on his friends or the game or grades or whatever to see you for who you truly are. Or something happened: Like the chick he was into kissed some other guy. "Oh wait a minute, I don't think I want to give her my heart after all." (My words, not his; don't think 100% that he thought that.)
Kissing his friend was a mistake though. A big one. I would say talk to him about it and see how he REALLY feels about you. The only problem with that is most guys don't like to talk, and like talking abou thier feelings even less. So my peice of advice is this: Tell him how YOU feel. Tell him how you really feel about him: Put it all on the table. Then a million things can happen. He can act the same, he can freak out, he can clam up, bottle up, blow up, he can say "okay, let's give it a shot", he can say "oh i never knew you felt that way", he can start bawling (tears of happiness or sadness), or he can do that one-millionth-thing: He can tell you how he feels back. At least at this point you put the ball in his court. If he's got the ball and doesn't do anything with it, he's not worth your time.
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do guys find it "un" or "a"ttractive when you're like really tight or whatever. and like when you first get fingered its not like so pleasureable its like a weird pressure kind of sting feeling...right?
The first couple times you do it it will hurt a little, and guys don't (or shouldn't) want to hurt you, but yes, the "tightness" is hot. Girls who have a lot of sex are called "loose" because they are loose. And that's gross.
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15/f.
So i feel like im loosing my friends i have currently. I have these other friends who i am getting kind of close to. And i made new friends who are friends of my friends. Now two of the people im getting close to I've known since i was a little girl. These friends arent the best, they smoke, they drink, its all about sex. Im not saying i dont drink but i only do it ocassionally. I really would love to hang out with thme because they are real friends, they stick up for me & listen & help me out. But im not up for the whole partying thing, thats basically all they do & know. I would have no problem going to a party, but i just dont get it. I dont know what to do. should i still be friends with them, should i dump them as friends and get different ones, should i talk to them about it? i dont know. any help would be nice.
Awesome. This is one of those things I know for a fact. Statistics (and personal experience) show that you are an average of the five closest people to you. You engage in the same activities, learn the same things, make similar decisions, and (if you keep them long enough) end up making about the same amount of money as them. No Joke.
You don't want to be a party girl? Don't hang out with party girls. They go to partys and party hardy. I'm not saying shun them or cut them off; love them where they're at. But be build quality relationships with people you look up to. People who either have what you want in your life, or have the same wants and desires as you do.
Good luck on your freind search. I'm actually going through one right now myself...
-Evan
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