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im miserable
15/f
god i hate living. it's been this way since i was 13- i have living. I can't stand it. I'm sick of waking up in the morning with nothing to look foreward to. Crying and eating is all i'm good for. Nothing brings me joy- absolutely nothing. I've tried everything- therapy, counseling, cutting... EVERYTHING.
nothing helps me.
i want to die so badly just to escape this living hell that we call life- but the problem is i can't bring myself to ever do it because i'm afraid of the freaking pain.
i don't have any friends or a boyfriend. no one knows me, if they did- they'd hate me.
i have depression/anxiety problems, ADD intattentive type, a metabolic disorder, and a social phobia. No one in real life knows this exept my therapist.
what should i do. im crying even as i write this. it's just gone on for too long. 2 freaking years.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Ok.
listen im not be the best..but ill try
and you got to remember that im only 13.
well first
i know liffe sucks at times
but you got to hold on
life sucks sometimes but REMEMBER when life rocks
you have dreams make them come true
people sayy they dont believe faith
you should
anytime your down
just think about
how greatly you will be missed
god gave us a reasont to live in this world
you just have to find yours
i hope you take this advice
Ill stand by you!
listen to this song called
so small
heres the lyrics
Yeah, Yeah
[Verse 1]
What you got if you ain't got love
the kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up
go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
you want to shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith
[Chorus]
'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
seem so small
[Verse 2]
It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river thats so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back
[Chorus]
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh it sure makes everything else
Seem so small
Yeah, Yeah
]
You probably think you're alone in this situation, but I can tell you, you aren't.
To be perfectly honest, I don't have anything to get up for in the mornings either, but I still do it. and so does everyone else. Since you're 15, I'm guessing you go to school. Keep focusing on your education and to get the best possible grades, because in a few years, you will need them if you want to go into further education and get a great job. Don't make the same mistake as me and lots of others and give up now. I am telling you, you will regret it big time.
Instead of dwelling on your problems, what you need to do is act upon them. Yes it's going to take work - ALOT of work infact, but I can tell from your question you are strong person.
Firstly, you can beat your social phobia. Do you realize how common it is?
I want you to read these links if you haven't already:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
There are many more on Google with so many tips to help you and overcome it if you want to check:
I reckon once you push yourself to talk to people and overcome your social phobia little by little, your friend worries will disappear and your anxiety/depression will get alot better.
Being 15 is a hard age since you're mid teen and struggling with lifes issues, but as you get older, I'm pretty adamant you will learn to look at things from a different perspective.
It's good you have a therapist and you're taking the obvious steps to help yourself, but if you keep at it and don't give up, things will start looking up. It's going to take time, but look at each day as a new opportunity for things to get better.
You only get one life. and you should be able to enjoy it.
Don't give up. Things WILL turn out okay.
]
I hear you.
"depression/anxiety problems, ADD intattentive type, a metabolic disorder, and a social phobia."
You described me 2 years ago. I was a reck. If I didn't have that one friend to get me through it, I would have been where you are now without a doubt. There's hope. I lived through it, you can too.
I'm not going to feed you some "It's not worth it" psyco-babble bullshit line. This is your life we're talking about here. No room for bullshit. Listen up.
You're 15. I'm 21. I'm older and more expierenced than you, but not old enough to be "one of them". There is no way I would ever call myself an adult.
But I've been there. I've been where you are. I've felt how you feel. I STILL struggle with depression. ADD is a pain in my ass every day. My "best friend" that got me through it all is gone now, spending most of his time with a girl that doesn't fit the description of who I want to have as a friend. Now who have I got? I'm in a friend-shift right now. I don't know who my friends are, I don't connect with the friends I have on a personal level, and the people who I would like to have as friends don't have the time of day to spend with me. So what am I to do? Hell if I know. Life is tough, but I'm tougher. The tough times can suck my balls when I'm done with them.
To throw it all away at 15 is a horrible waste of life. I know if I ended it at 15, everyone I know would be worse off for it. My best friend would have had no one to lean on for 6 years. My dad would fall back into the depression he has succeeded on clawing his way out of. My mom probably would have killed herself. People who I don't even know, who to them I have given "priceless advice" would probably have ended up making bad decisions. I would never have had a positive impact on any of them.
That's part of the problem. Sometimes we think too often of ourselves. We think "My life is so bad, nobody is helping me." When what we should be doing is helping others. We think "She doesn't love me anymore" or "He doesn't love me anymore" when what we should be thinking is "How can I make HER day brighter?", "How can I make HIM feel loved?" I've felt like there is no joy in the world, and that there is no hope. I was wrong. When I took the focus off my self, focused on someone else, and helped THEM, I found greater joy than I could have ever recieved waiting for it to happen to me. Period.
Don't forget. I've been where you are, I've felt how you felt, but I don't feel that way now. Maybe that's why I went through what I went through; to help you. Maybe that's why you're going through what you went through. Maybe when you're 21, feeling fine, you'll be able to help a depressed 15-old-girl who has no one to lean on but you.
Focus on someone else. Do something for someone else. Help someone else. It will change your life.
With love, hope, and sincere respect
-Evan
]
You do sound very miserable and you don't deserve this. But, you should never think you've ran out of options, because if you laid everything down on the table to someone, I think they'd be more than willing to help. It's really time to make your situation known to your parents or whoever takes care of you and not just your therapist.
If you cut and everything you've stated in this question is true, then yes, you'll need more help than just therapy and counseling. You need to check yourself in somewhere and get serious attention because you definitely don't deserve to feel this way.
A lot of your problems, the root of it I'd say is your self-esteem. You say that if you had friends they'd hate you. Saying that all your good for is crying and eating. This is so far from the truth. You really do friends and if you really don't have at least one friend you can talk to or hang out with, then your family needs to know everything thats going on even if it means they might freak out or be mildly shocked. So my advice to you is to tell your family or at least one person so that you can move on and get higher help because that's what you need. And you aren't alone, if you do need someone to talk to, my inbox is available to leave messages:)
-TheTeenGirl
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I think you should turn to "God" with your problems. I didnt like how things were in life for awhile but i found "God" and started reading the Bible and you would be suprised how much better you feel once reading the words. I mean you will also be suprised to how things come together better in your life. Once you put your faith in "God" he will always listen to you and give you something to look forward to in life such as waking up to find new ways to have a relationship with him. I think you are going threw a little rough part in your life. Which most people have a rough time every once in awhile. So trust me put your faith in "God" and see what happens. I mean what do you have to lose?!?!? I wish you the best and hope you make the right choice and dont do anything stupid like hurt yourself because im sure it would hurt you family weather you believe it or not.
God Bless!!!!
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