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What is my next step? part 2
Hi, this is the woman that wrote a while back , “ What’s my next step?”. Thanks for the reply. So while I was waiting for the reply I was thinking about the situation and for a minute I was thinking yes I am the problem. Maybe I seem too available or too desperate or that I desire company too much. So when I saw you write that I may have come across as needy I was like yeah that may be true. But to be honest I don't know because the truth in the very rare occasions that I confidentially expressed that I struggle to associate with persons and that I desire it seems like a shock to persons. I actually try to be happy on my own. I have tons of hobbies that I do alone. I even travel alone. I just book a flight and go have fun alone.Last Saturday, I spent the day watching movies, on the piano and painting at my apartment. So I do feel complete on my own for some time. Well until I meet someone and then I remember how much I struggle to have friendships and relationships. The same guy that I mentioned who is frequently at my apartment complex now just likes my posts and left me on read after we talked for a bit. I mean he is always there when I am at work so I don't see him. In previous conversations he told me when he usually goes. My other friend is interested in me but again he is not my idea of a partner and well he also just likes my post, send me memes and stuff like that. If I call he answers but he never calls. The women I speak to do not really go out or at least I think so.
I associate more with males and that is my problem but this goes way back to primary school. All my best friends were males except two and I still communicate with these guys from time to time compared to the women who I don't even follow on social media nor have their numbers.
I do pray and focus on my spirituality but I focus my prayers on bigger matters like the housing situation and the job issues I face. This whole friendship and need for a relationship I am not sure why but I pray about it but not as I do for the other things. I guess it is because I cope for a long while doing my hobbies until while doing the hobbies I start crying and feeling like others are making memories with their friends and partners and I am here by myself as I have always been. Again I really don't know what is happening. I feel lost. Depending how this year goes my next step is therapy or something.
You could be right about people just not wanting to be around me because yes I do not talk a lot until I am really comfortable with you. Back home the people I associate with the most are similar to me or understand my personality and that association took more than 3 years to get to the way it is today.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I remember the time after church, coffee hour, when I couldn't stand to listen to the women talk or talk to them, one more time about birthing stories and other such womens conversations. I always found the men easier to talk to. So while the women were all gabbing, I was chatting with their husbands. Nothing wrong with this, some of us just do better in conversation with the opposite sex.
Wondering if you've always been on the shy side. I remember thinking in High School that I wasn't ready for the adult world because of how quiet, introverted and shy I was and asked God for help.
I heard an answer. I followed that advice, at my own pace in a few steps. I remember being more terrified of how staying as I was, would mess up my adult life. If interested, let me know and
will share the story in full with you.
Lastly, I come from another generation when people did not carry around cell phones or get on computer because those didn't exist yet. I have seen how people have gone from relating to another person face to face to doing so only on cell. Cells and computer are great tools but they are a hindrance if relied on solely, for finding and maintaining relationships. Males especially do not do well with cells and pc's and they seem to always say it's because they hate typing or are bad at typing. I always said, great...then we can talk over phone or in person. So the trick would be to start getting out and meeting people who have some of the same hobbies as you, once you feel ready to do so. There is a group on line called Meetup. Here is the link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I joined a long time ago and no longer use but it is a great way to meet people with same hobbie. I even remember a mom group for those who liked to take their babies for a daily walk in stroller and end it with a stop for a fruit shake or coffee. So you put in your zip code area and start doing a search for the things you have interest in. When ready, this may be a great help to you
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