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humorist-workshop
Ignorant co workers
Our coworker invited me and my friend to go to a birthday party for another coworker. But one of my friends didn’t have a good relationship with the birthday girl in the first place. Eventually we picked up the coworker that invited us and we went. Once we got there, the birthday girls mother mistaken my friends name for another girl, and she felt distant. As well as the coworker that invited us was very distant with the both of us, and acted like he didn’t know us, as well as the other coworkers that were there, we felt ignored. By the end of the day, everyone was quite rude and eventually as we were leaving, I overheard them say, “who invited them?” And I felt quite hurt. Right after we left, we felt broken as if we did something wrong. I need advice on how I could ever mak myself feel better after what happened. Thanks
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How to feel better? Well, what I do is look to see if there is anything I can learn from a not so good situation. This is how we learn. Adults are not exempt from trying something and it not working. You were not the problem. The co worker who invited you along is one of the problems and I will go into that more soon. The host/hostess was also a problem because if they noticed a person or people at their place whom they did not invite, they should have found out who you are, and how you came to be there. That is common sense. It would be like sitting at a stop light in your car and doors are unlocked and someone hops in and sits in the back seat. You wouldn't ignore them and pretend that is normal, you would either tell them to leave or maybe ask why they got into your car or better yet, you might discreetly dial 911 because frankly, anyone I did not invite may be okay but in todays world, it could be someone up to no good like casing my joint for a robbery later.
A lesson for you to take away from this: Next time if there is a next time, that someone you know invites you to join them for a party they are invited to, no matter whose party it is, You ask if they have specifically asked the host/hostess if you could bring a guest or two. In this age, often all you have to say if they need a body count ahead to have enough food/drinks, and a plus one is okay for RSVP, then the invitee wanting to invite extras along must let the people know. YOu may not be able to trust what someone tells you. A common answer I've heard people say is "Oh them? Yeah, they're okay with anyone new showing up. They like meeting people so it won't bother them." You can always ask for the name and number of the people yourself and get in touch. Mention who said it was okay to come but you know if you were hosting something, you'd want control over who shows up. Let them know it won't hurt your feelings if they have a limit for number of people or have any reason why they would not be okay with you coming along. Your friend would have to do the same. If its a married couple, then only one of you have to double check with the hosts. I was once invited with husband to go along with friends to a party. It was out of town and we were not kids but adults. I told the inviters that I would not feel good showing up unless I know the hosts were forewarned and okay with it. They got on their cell and called the people right then and we found out that these people indeed didn't mind strangers invited along as long as they knew someone there. You also know to not accept anything like this again from the co worker who acted distant. When ever I feel bad about how something turns out, Instead of feeling embarassed or bad, I look for a way to turn a bad experience into something good and the only way I know that really works is looking to see if there's anything I can learn from it. If you do the same, I think you'll feel better real soon and having a plan based on what you learned makes it so you don't feel antsy, worried or awkward later.
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I know how you feel! I have let other people's behavior affect my feelings and I tended to take things personally.
The probably isn't you, the problem is with the coworker and the other people at the party. They were being rude and inhospitable. You didn't do anything wrong.
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