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I have a crush on my bus driver and I'm too embarrassed to admit it
So, I have a crush on my bus driver! I don't usually freak out like this when I have crushes on someone, but this time, its different. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I'm 19 years old female and he is in his mid 30s I guess. It all started last month when I sat next to him in the passenger seat and caught him staring at me a couple of times! I take his bus every weekend and get so excited when the seat next to him is unoccupied. You might think that that's fine, but the problem is that he is illiterate, doesn't speak my language, old, and is from Bangladesh. Not that I have anything against his country, but we both are totally different. Different religion, culture, you name it..... Whenever I catch myself thinking about him I cry a little! It's never gonna work out and I DON'T want it to work out! How can I be this stupid to have a crush on a bus driver. I just want it to stop. HELP PLEASE :(
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As Adviceman said, this is natural. I crushed on certain males when I was a teen, be it my peers or an older married man and some celebrities. With all of them, it really wasn't just about looks. There will be something else, some character trait, something he stands for, something in his personality that caught the eye of your subconscious mind so it is easy to feel yourself crushing but not know with your conscious mind, what exactly it is that caught your attention so. Once I thought I had figured out what things I was attracted to, I tucked those away into memory and usually a crush would lessen in intensity and eventually disappear. This is my belief that humans tend to crush so that we would pay attention and figure out what traits we like in a potential date, mate. We will gather this info from watching and observing men who are not interested in us or aware of us, and from those who want to date. We gather information over many a date or crush to have some idea of what we want in a partner. Often we have to experience a negative behavior first to see that it is detrimental to having a healthy happy relationship. I will give you an example, I was unhappily married but staying due to having kids. I was essentially in the position of a single woman, still needing to learn what kind of man I would want and need for myself after a divorce when the time came. I remember waiting at an outdoor fish and chips place. There wasn't space for neat lines, so everyone stood in a group. A man who was there with his wife was called on by the cashier. 'Are you next sir?" Then man turned to an elderly woman standing right next to him and his wife and said, 'I believe this young lady here is next". That woman just had someone make her day, using a phrase describing her in a way she hadn't heard in a long time and she thanked him and was all grins. Immediately, i knew I wanted to find a man who had this trait of this man. It was easy to continue to watch him and feel other observations now, such as the sound of his voice, and I felt he was good looking. A woman is going to notice a man in that way too, if she finds even a trait or two she likes about him. It doesn't mean he is right enough, or she is totally serious about wanting him for herself and sometimes a guy who is interested in her may be several steps backwards from what she had before and she has to be careful to not settle for less in the male she dates next. We are made to like certain traits we see in males. Would they make a good provider, a good protector, etc. ? Even female mammals are constantly watching traits in males fighting for her and she usually will choose the strongest male. With all my observations of what I did want, and knowing from experience what kind of man I did not want, (verbal abuse) I made a written list and followed it in finding my second husband after a divorce. Knowing how to use info from crushes and experiences in finding traits I did like, helped me to find the right man the second time around. I just wish I had known this all for the first time around. So you are very normal. That combined with knowing what to do when you feel like this will help you in eventually find the partner you will be with long term or life long.
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you're not stupid; having a crush on someone is only natural. Have you not had a crush on a particular teacher in school? This is the same thing.
You know a romance or any type of relationship will never work. So sit back and enjoy the feeling. When you find someone to have a relationship with the crush will wear off.
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