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For those who understand Loving Kindness and the power of the Universe?
I have this problem where I criticize people a lot, I think I learned it from people steadily criticizing me back in school. I feel I just "picked it up" from them, and I know that was completely wrong.
Now I can't stop.
It's not like I say it to their faces or to anyone else. I don't gossip or anything. I just criticize a lot in my head.
Do you think that the fact that I do that is sending negative energies out into the Universe and that's why no one likes me? Is that why my fiance's family ignores me all the time? Is that why my friends don't talk to me much except for the one that I don't criticize?
I mean, the only two people I don't criticize are my one friend, my fiance, and 99% of my family and 95% of random strangers.
I actually like everyone, I just can't stop criticizing.
Do you think if I did a loving kindness (metta) meditation every day to send loving kindness to everyone (I promise I love everyone, I'm actually trying to attract the lottery so I can give to as many people as I can, even those I criticize), that people would actually like me and want to talk/spend time with me? Would my fiance's family stop ignoring me? Would my friends actually try getting back in touch with me?
Please be serious. Please don't ridicule my beliefs and my problem. I know I'm wrong, I don't need to be ridiculed because of it.
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Hello my friend, and positive vibes your way. We have a a belief of the law of three. Whatever YOU put out into the world, (good or bad) it comes back to you threefold. I do truly believe this, and while some days it is hard to be positive, I find that forcing myself to be OUT LOUD is much easier to do.
I myself, am an empath. Which just means that I can feel what other people are feeling. Look it up when you have a chance. A lot of people may have those similar qualities, where they may instead just be sensitive to other people. They know. Whatever you put out into the world is going to come back to you.
At the end of the day, before you DO feel like criticising, take a second first, and think about what kind of person you want to be, and how you DON'T want to be. Do you REALLY want to be that person that no one can stand to be around, because you can't just be positive?
Everything WILL fall into place, you just have to believe it.
All my best,
Mary
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I understand you perfectly and this is an area which I and my husband are pretty familiar with.
I used to be extremely shy and in church youth group, looked at those who were popular and one day decided to copy them. They were snarky and criticized others often and tried to find ways to make people laugh only to make someone they picked on, hurt. Yes, you find this in a church too. I did it only for some weeks to a month before I felt so bad doing it that I stopped. I too knew it was wrong and I was verbal about it, not in my head. You say you don't like this so I wonder why you didn't stop.
I had no idea that the reason so many people were not attracted to me to be friends or those who knew me kept a distance but we all send out vibes. I can't say its our Aura, but I'd have to explain it like being radio waves or cell connections to a a tower, you can't see this kind of energy that makes something work. In people, we are all created with an ability to pick up on others peoples energies, (even if not an empath) no matter what kind of energy. I am betting that this is the issue here. The thing is, most of it is picked up on subconsciously. Like a person you meet for the first time. They;ve done nothing wrong but you instantly don't like them and have no idea why. So you could ask all these people and they'd have no idea why, not that they'd be honest and answer. Just saying . . .
So the thing to do is change what your mind focuses on. Since this is something you do internally, there is no outside evidence and so this should change things around for you. I can't say 100% of the people will instantly like you. For some, they may go by habit of the first feelings they had about you, rather than what positive energy is coming off of you now. But it will help you in the long run.
Now, as to how to do this, you need to deal with your subconscious. YOu've heard people mention their inner child. Well, to hubby and I, our inner child is like a totally different person living inside our bodies. So we even recognize them by name. they are tied closely to our subconscious minds. First I want to tell a short story to explain this. When I first met my second husband and he talked about how he spoke to his subconscious, I had talked out loud to myself all my childhood up to that moment and asked if this was what he was talking about. He said yes. And no, this does not mean you are crazy or have a multiple personality. This should be normal for most humans but they do not understand and are not ready to take this path. You are. Otherwise I would feel prompted to share such info with you. So when the husband told me the name of his subconscious persona was Ray and then asked me what the name of mine was, I was flabbergasted. I had never really talked to that part of myself as if real, I only talked to myself. As I started to say, " I have no F=ing clue," I heard an indignant huff in my mind saying 'my name is Sabrina.' That shocked me. According to the Huna beliefs and Huna is the healing and spiritual shamanism of ancient Hawai'i, the subconscious is our connection to hearing from the universe or from your angels of whatever you see as God or Goddess. Doesn't matter what you call that Creator force, it still hears you and attempts to answer your questions and prayers. But we have problems recieving the info directly. It was drawn as a photo of a house with attic, living level and basement. The attic was God, the person the middle level and the basement, your subconscious. Like a phone call, you are unable to recieve a direct call if your phone isn't working right. So the message from the universe goes direct to your subcon. mind in the basement who simultaneously send that message upstairs to you versus a walkie talkie so it is instant that you hear what you assume is your own thoughts. SM will stand for Subconscious mind. So another thing to know about the SM, is that our emotions reside there. Think of a sad movie you watched. Even though it was entirely made up, your SM is watching along with your conscious mind and gets caught up in the sadness and so you start crying, even if its just actors and a made up script. One more thing about the SM, it isn't always totally reliable. It understands things often like a child, either its black or white, nothing in between. So when you think a lot about something like critical thoughts, the SM takes note of this. It feels its main job is to please you above anything else and like a child's thinking, believes that what you focus on the most is a good thing. It doesn't get that you don't want to do this, or for some girls, that they want to stop thinking about a guy who was a creep of a boyfriend and broke up and left them. They can't get over him as long as these thoughts of him keep filling their mind. So think of this as a much much younger sister who loves you and looks up to you and wants to make you happy. She does have quite a lot of wisdom for her age but at the same time can misunderstand like a child does. So you need to start talking to her. You might even ask what her name is and if a name doesn't come into your mind immediately, ask again later after she sees she can trust you. I say she because most times the SM feels like the gender you are but can be different. I know of two females who told me their SM is male to them. You have to have a talk with your SM, which would look like you talking to yourself. If this sounds crazy, all I can say is that it works enough that I cut straight to the part about talking to your SM for those who might not understand the rest. Tell the SM what you want to stop doing in your mind, what thoughts you want to have stop. It's a bad habit for her but remember, she wants to please you so at first she'll need lots of reminders, sometimes several times in just one hour. Some people get all sorts of negative thoughts more often than that. But keep reminding her, saying the same thing. The SM also is responsible to making sure you take your next breath, blink your eyes, without having to think about doing so. She is responsible for your dreams as well. Some people who seem to vacillate between doing the better thing and then going right back to making the same mistakes and repeating this their entire life, are often battling their SM and fighting it, without realizing it. The SM is often like a child, like mine afraid of the dentist in the past. I felt an unnatural fear take hold of me from a bad past experience. I had to reassure my SM that I would not let that happen again that I would explain which nerves were most sensitive, come up with a hand sign for my dentist when my mouth was full and I couldn't talk and let them know it meant I could feel something and want more novocaine. By doing this constantly, as I talked to my SM, even inside my mind, not out loud, I reassured her and the fear went away. Sometimes we also decide to engage in something we know better is not a good idea. Anything you do, you drag your SM into unwillingly often. It is forced to go along and not communicating with it can result in your two minds fighting each other, the reason many people tend to struggle in making consistent good decisions. I know this is more than you needed for your situation but since this issue you have has to do with the SM, you need to have a full working knowledge of ow it works.
Your vibes or energies you send out will be different. But now its lack of negative energy so it needs to be filled with positive ones. Here is what helps me. Yes, there are nasty people in the world, but I realize old souls inhabiting bodies are created by the same source, so we are all family. Although, in reality we may differ so greatly that its' like one of us being angelic compared to another acting demonic. Yet we are all family. What works if you believe in reincarnation is that life is like school with pre school through college. A new soul is at pre school level and is most likely to be the horrible people, the ones you liked to criticize. I understand, not picking on you. Lets say you feel you are at Junior High level, SO there are people you can look at and they are somewhere in grade school ad cant be expected to know what you know and act more loving. Then there are those who seem to be so much more mature and angelic God-like compared to yourself. So keeping this line of thoughts, I don't get as frustrated with people. I know they are on a journey, maybe not making much progress but if surrounded by a group of people where I have a choice to be around, like friends and they are all at Kindergarten level and Me at HS level, I would be frustrated. The only reason to reach out to someone like that is if called upon to teach or coach them to the next grade level up. But if not a teacher, you need to find people to be around who seem to be at your level. This is waht helps us to go on. With family born into, you don't get to choose all being at the same soul level as you. Some kids have had parents who were like young students in school when the child had an older wise soul. This is a lot said and yet I have more that may apply. Something I read in an magazine about a trick to send out messages of self confidence. This is sent the same way, the invisible vibes and I think you may find this interesting as well because it involves two very much the same looking people, one with no one around her and the other with many of both sexes hanging on her every word. Its a document about self confidence. I can share that as well if you want more after reading all this. Do ask for it in the comment section. You have to go to my column and write to me from there is you want this. I hope this helps you alot. YOU are young yet, and I feel that you will become much more loving and understanding of all people and have great strides in personal growth. I wish you the best dear.
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