Member Since: October 1, 2018
Answers: 21
Last Update: October 10, 2018
Visitors: 1805
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So I have been dating this boy for almost 5 years now.I know that we really love eachother and we like spending time with one another but I just can’t seem to stop worrying about the future.I know that in the future I definitely want to travel and try new things but i’m worried he might not want to come along.We grew up in a small country town and he’s mentioned once that he can’t really see us leaving, which crushes me because my experiences in our town have been awful and I know that as soon as I leave for school i’m never coming back.So I guess my question is:Should I worry about this so much? And is there any way I convince him to live a life with me thats not traditional and involves vigorous travel? (link)
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My friend, life is short. Extremely short. I mean, you're going to blink, and it's going to be over. So instead of arguing inside of your head and making yourself sick from the worry, go talk to him. That's why is there. He's there for you to talk to about these things. Ask him, talk to him.
All my best,
Mary
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I am 29 years old and have had kids or wanted kida but the main reason i am gett my tubes tied is because i have major anxiety problems and i cant stay by myself because of some other disabilities. I am getting my tubes tied on November 19th. My question is wil medicade pay to have my tubes tied? (link)
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Your best bet would be to actually contact your health provider, and ask them.
All my best,
Mary
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In this year of school, I know close to nobody. It’s been over a month and I haven’t really communicated with new people at all. I don’t have any people to talk to. Since it’s such a big environment I’m in too, I don’t see people regularly. I feel like everyone already has their friends, so I’d intrude if I talked to them, or got the courage to. And people that are alone usually are off doing something else and looking busy. I know clubs usually help and I’m figuring that out as of right now, so that’s really my last hope. How can I just...make friends? (link)
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I'll be honest with you, it's hard. I was SO shy when I was younger. And it wasn't really until recently that I've turned into a social butterfly. The truth is my friend, that most of the time other people are just as scared if not more, to start a conversation. Think about it. Everyone has resting angry face most of the time, or just looks unapproachable, etc. Words will break that silent hold.
Here is what I did to start talking. I would think about what I wanted to say, and I would just start with the first word of that sentence, and then the rest comes out. Talk about appropriate things at first, I always had a tendency to talk crudely in the beginning. HA. You really need to wait until THEY initiate the conversation. I will leave you with a video link on Youtube by Anthony Robbins, I absolutely adore him. He talks about building rapport, but it still applies beautifully.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dENi7K2lX4U
All my best,
Mary
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I have a friend and she talked like she likes me more than a friend so Saturday I asked her how she really felt about me during truth or dare. She avoided the question. Then yesterday I asked her how she felt again and she avoided the question. I don’t want to go out with her cuz I am still trying to figure out if it’s deep admiration for her or if I like like her but since she refused to answer the question I didn’t see another option. I asked her out and she said maybe. I don’t know what I’ll do if she says yes. What do I do if it’s just deep admiration I have for her and she says yes? I don’t want to lose her. (link)
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My friend, it's confusing socializing with another human that's a given. Throw them being a different sex than you and that's even harder. But IMO, and again it's just my thought, but what if she KNOWS that you aren't REALLY into her. Perhaps that's why you've been rejected. If YOU do not know if you like this girl, don't waste your time. Because you DO know. If you did want to be with this girl, you would be. No doubt whatsoever you know?
All my best,
Mary
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Hello,
Both 27
I'm thinking of moving away from him because I'm still heartbroken as we split up about few months ago and i'm still hung up on him. (he initiated the split up). I miss him and cried the other evening. we're still on good terms and in contact. see each other once a week. I don't think I should stay anywhere near him because I love him still now, my question is, I asked him if I should move in a friendly term he said, what, No, (with surprising face) he replied like that the first time. I asked him again days later, he said it's up to you. I guess he don't want me to but since he's not saying much, why would he say 'it's up to you?' does he not care or is he just saying this? I have a headache thinking of it. from deep down I know he still loves me even though we only dated for few months and sees me once a week. he has a gf and I don't want to date anyone at the present. however, I'm just terribly sad. I don't want anything from him instead I just want to know, what would he mean by it's up to you? when I asked him back what kind of reply is that, shall I move faraway from you he said, it's your life. am I being paranoid guys? do i sound pathetic loser? i'm just trying to understand the situation, thats all. i'm sorry
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He probably cares AS A FRIEND. But overall, honey he has a girlfriend now. Even with you telling him how you feel, he's not stupid he knows you love him, he's still staying with this girl. That's nothing on you, it just means that he isn't for you. That's hard...I know. But if you love the wrong person THIS much, imagine how much you're going to love the RIGHT person.
All my best,
Mary
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My son & DIL (daughter in law) are hosting Xmas this year. I adore them both and want to see my grandkids BUT my DIL has invited her entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc). We get along with her parents but the rest of her family is odd; they barely speak to each other much less to us. It has happened on multiple holidays & we just feel out of place & are over it. Question: How do we bow out of these large gatherings filled with her large extended family and avoid hurting their feelings? (link)
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Hey friend....that is a difficult situation. But here's the truth. Next generation is ready to take on those hosting responsibilities. Even though it's annoying being around those kind of family members LOUD and in each other's faces, you're just going to have to mirror them back in a positive way! That's how you WILL get through this. Ultimately it's our job as parents to help our kids along. That doesn't stop because they get married and move out.
Otherwise... I understand if you really don't want to put up another dinner with those people, you're gonna have to just be honest. As long as you are positive about it, "I just don't like how loud everything gets with how many people there are. It makes me anxious."
All my best,
Mary
mare.marethehuman@gmail.com
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Hello,i hope the person who'll read this is having a good day. I just picked this category because what I need advice for, I don't know what category it belongs in. I'm a 54 filipina, married my American husband last year of june. Unfortunately we have not filed for my petition because we are sadly currently broke. I've been with him for almost 4 years, we met online & because I have a U.S. visa, we both decided to be together. From the start our relationship has been tested. We do love each other but because of circumstances in his life things have been difficult. We are very much in love that's why we are still together. When I arrived & moved in with him, we were both so excited & happy to be together. After 2 weeks his son 25 then came to visit & decided to stay. He never told me his son has slight schizophrenia, he is harmless but very addicted to pot & would just want to be high everyday, he is like a child & just very lazy & clueless of the reality of life. The mother died 2 years prior & he jumps from one relative to another. I know he wanted to stay with us because he is jealous of me. So life with his son was very difficult, at that time I was doing my divorce so we could marry. But because of his son I left him one time, I told him as much as I love him I will not make him choose between us because that his son. When he asked me to come back, he said he wanted us to try vegas for financial reasons because palm beach is seasonal. Low seasons we hardly had income. But vegas did not work for us, me still unable to work at that time.he had a hard time looking for work because of his age 60, so muchcompetirion in the restaurant business. He was a restaurant captain in high end restaurant here in palm beach. To make the story short, after 3 months in vegas with no income, we decided to come back to Florida. At that time my divorce was finally finalized, we then got married. After 2 months of our saving depleted & problems with his son, I came to the point I had enough. I told him I was leaving, he didn't want me to & begged me not to leave him. He talked to his mom & have his son to get. But August he got sick, his left hip started hurting a lot & he can't hardly walk, he is a veteran so we use the VA. He could not work but thank God I found a waitressing job in a Mexican restaurant, but my pay is low. It took 7 months for VA to find put what's wrong with him. He had aneurysm in his stomach, thus no blood & oxygen flow in his left leg. He had surgery last february.he has recovered but just started going back to work almost 2 months now. Because of the financial problems we went through our savings are gone. We are surviving pay check to pay check, a lot of times we hardly have anything. Our rent is so high because this is Riviera beach, our pay goes to our rent & we are always left with so little. Because of his illness we were unable to pay for a lot of our bills affecting his credit. Right now we hardly have anything & we cannot even shop for food. It is so unfair that we are working but it does not suffice for our needs. I'm looking into rent to own but I'm not sure if it's a solution. Season is coming soon, but what solution is there before the season comes? I'm just so sad... I so love him & I will not let this break us. (link)
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Hello my friend....I THINK you're looking for some way to get some help with getting your Visa? If that IS the case, shoot me an email and let's talk about it. :)
mare.marethehuman.com
I work as a legal advisor at CLS to provide people with discount legal services for those people who otherwise can't afford it. Shoot me an email at the one I provided and I'll be in touch with you. I'll send you an email from my work computer.
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I had my first Depo shot in July or mid August, I believe. It was taken to stop my period because whenever I would get it, I would be dizzy, tired, have no appetite and it would be heavy and generally just unpleasant and make me not want to move or speak. Normally, it lasted 6 days and went from medium in the beginning, to heavy in the middle, and light at the end.
I got the Depo shot on the third day of my period (My period was supposed to have come a week or two earlier - according to the calander.) And the rest of my period during that time was fairly light. Fast forward to September and I had gotten some spotting twice, but each time it went away and was barely there, so I figured it was no issue.
Now, I've had my period for 6 days and tomorrow will be the 7th. It was heavier but lightened up a bit and has stayed the same since. (A bit difficult to work with in a job where I stand packing for 7 hrs)
When will my period go away? How many more times do I have to take the Depo shot for that to happen? Will the period I have now be continuing for a long time (and if so is it an actual period or spotting..? I think it's a period but just want to make sure since normally it resolved itself by now. Any other concerns I should have?)
Thank you so much for your help and sorry for the long post! (link)
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Every BODY is different my friend, and that's the truth. Of course keeping this information updated with your health provider is the best thing you can do for yourself.
In the mean time, there is no reason to worry right now. Some women still bleed, and some do not. If you look it up, you'll read that it takes 6-12 months AFTER getting the shot to no longer get periods. But that's ONLY medical science. It's just what studies have shown. Everyone is different, chances are you may just need to wait that 6-12 months in order for you to get the results you're wanting. JUST KEEP UPDATING YOUR DOCTOR!
All my best,
Mare
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so i'm a 19 years old girl and i have a huge crush on this 27 year old guy. but we can never actually be together, he is engaged and way older then me, i'm religious he is an atheist and i just cant get over him.
i always try to tell myself that it's not ok but i just can't i need help to just stop thinking about him.
btw he is also kind of flirty with me and it makes it even harder. (link)
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Hey there friend, I'm gonna be honest and straight forward with you okay? If he WANTED to be with you, he WOULD be. There are no if ands or buts about it. He's with this girl, and not you BECAUSE you are not her. That's nothing on you as a human, as a person with looks, personality, or anything. It's just not meant for you. If it were meant for you, there would be no wondering about whether or not he loves you, you would know. He would make that effort to show you and tell you every day, and I know this FROM experience. This is not a special case. This is the same dude who wants some action on the side, and it's really not worth it.
Feelings, you can't help having. Those won't go away unfortunately. Staying away from him, will be hard but it is your only option in order to be in the positive light again. If this person were meant for you, you would feel good about it. Do you?
Real time talk mare.marethehuman@gmail.com
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Sophomore in Highschool. All my life, school has come incredibly easy to me and I'm advanced in all of my classes but then there's math. Literally, we had our first test of the year in algebra and I got a 60% and it's discouraging me. I don't know what I am doing wrong-I go to extra help when the teacher has them, I do all my homework, I pay attention in class, and I take up free tutoring from other students when the school offers it (low income family, cannot afford private tutoring). It's so fucking annoying. I literally study my ass off and nothing shows. Teachers always say there is no such thing as naturally being bad at math, you need to work hard, etc, but it's not working. And in the SATs I gotta take next year, math is half the grade. The other half is reading and writing which I'm not worried about at all-steady 100s all the time in English class-and it really bugs me that my whole future could get fucked because of math when I don't even want a math based carreer. What do I do? (link)
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My friend, I TOO suck at math. So I understand how discouraging it is to feel like a failure. I assure you that you are not. And teachers can be oblivious to a students needs. I recommend looking at getting the book "Everything You Need To Know About Math In One Big Fat Notebook."
Here's a link, I think this will help you.
Converse with me on real time and let me know how things are going. :)
mare.marethehuman@gmail.com
Believe it or not, I WILL respond. If that book doesn't help you out, let's try something else. :)
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So I have a bit of a problem. I'm 27 years old and about a year ago I had sex for the first time. Considering the fact I hadn't masturbated for a few weeks before I lost my virginity, it was easy to get hard and I didn't last very long. After that, however, it was pretty much impossible to keep an erection when putting on a condom! The girl would give me a blowjob and I'd get hard, but by the time I put the condom on and change position, my penis would go soft! We tried to do it several times in one night, but just ended up having oral sex and I came every time. I thought maybe I didn't have enough stamina considering it was my first time... Or perhaps it was a mental block because the girl was kind of married so I was afraid her husband might come home unexpected...
However, a few weeks later I had sex with a different girl (she was single) but I had the same problem.
Why is this happening? I definitely felt aroused and I was attracted to both girls... I consider myself to be healthy and I was able to keep an erection during oral sex...
After all of this was over, I tried to put a condom on while I was alone and masturbating, but I had the same problem! I'm kind of worried.
I want to blame the condom... but I think guys usually have no problem keeping an erection during the few seconds it takes to put the condom on, right?
So what should I do?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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It's not the condom. Believe it or not, you can be turned off by bad situations. Perhaps your brain knew that you weren't supposed to be sleeping with a married woman. So you were distracted. It is possible that that thought interfered with your ability to become erect.
Find a good girl, one that you like. Take it from there. I have a feeling that you may be leaning more towards an emotional connection type of orientation.
Take a look on the Google machine: Demi-Sexual
Just explore yourself. You're young and you've barely started.
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My sister and I do not have the best relationship. Actually, it's awful. We were pretty close as little kids (she's two years younger) but that ended when I was 8 or 9. Im 19 now. I narrowed down the decline in our relationship to her taking my things when she was probably about 5. My mom told me it was because she wanted to be like me, try to have patience. Except it never stopped. She stole things from me up until I moved out of our parents' home last year. So as expected, our relationship is strained.
*side note, she's a bit behind for her age. She's almost 18, but acts like she's 14 or 15. Also manipulative. Can't tell the truth to save her life.
About a week ago, my parents had a BBQ, and my sister was allowed to invite friends. I was actually getting along with my sister really well, and she let me hang out with all of them. We had a great time. I was really hitting it off with one friend in particular, who is just two months older than I am, and i made a point of asking my sister that night, while we were all together, if it was okay if I hung out with them. She was probably reluctant, but said it was cool. Turns out, she's very much not okay with it. I don't necessarily blame her. I HATED when i had friends over and she struck up conversation with them. I'd stare her down, just generally be a bitch because I didn't want to share my friends with her. Now it's flipped, and she doesnt want me to hang out with this friend. She said until the BBQ, she hadn't seen said person in a year and a half. They would promise to hang out, and then "forget," bail on her, whatever. That, I don't condone. Ive had people do that to me. But this person and I genuinely get along, and they ask me to hang out.
What am I supposed to do? I feel guilty, but I'm not sure if Ive even done anything to feel guilty about.. I don't know how to resolve the situation. I asked my best friend for advice, and all she said was that I shouldnt hang out with her friend, "family first." My best friend is in Mississippi until January, she's been gone for 9 months. I have no other friends. I didn't start this friendship out of spite, and I dont want to end it soley because my sister is mad. What should I do???
Thanks in advance.
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You already know what you're going to do. And you probably know what the outcome of either decision will be. Just do it. Your sister will understand. Or, don't do that, and put your sister before that friend.
Really and truly, you know what's right and wrong FOR YOU. Do what you gotta do my friend.
If anything, just ask your sister....that is what she is there for.
All my best,
Mary
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Should I stay? I feel like I don't really belong in the home I currently live in. I feel irrelevant and that they don't really care for me. My mother said I could live with her family instead. Should I go? (link)
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Why not just go to your moms family for a little bit? Does this NEED to be a permanent situation?
All my best,
Mary
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I've come to realize it over the years. I won't get into too much detail because I don't see the point of describing all the abuse that has been endured. What I will say it that it has become very difficult to leave. I feel as though I cannot end things. The idea of ending the relationship makes me feel very anxious and afraid. Why is this? Why can I not leave, even though I have come to terms with the fact that I am being abused.
Advice and wisdom is appreciated.
27/f (link)
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I encourage you to speak to an attorney. You need to figure out some options. They might be able to help you come up with an exit strategy. You aren't in a safe situation, and you need to leave immediately. It never gets better.
All my best,
Mary
www.communitylegalsolutions.com
Email me at
mary@communitylegalsolutions.com
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I'm 14 and my sister is 10. Since my sister was about 4 years old my mom started not being nice to me but super nice to my sister ( offers to help my sister with school work, does her chores for her and never blames her for anything ) in fact if my sister ever does bad stuff ( which she does all the time knowing that she won't get in trouble ) my mom screams at me saying my sister used to be sweet and i made her a brat but then goes back to my sister like everything is fine. also we are both homeschooled and my mom will not help me with my school work i have to try and do all of it by myself i also cook all the meals for my family, clean and do all the laundry anyway i just don't think it's ok the way she treats me. sorry this is so long. (link)
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Wow, that is super frustrating. I have three kids myself, and I know that my oldest probably feels like you do sometimes. The truth is, that parents have absolutely no idea what they are doing. And it's really freaking scary paying for 5 people including yourself in order to keep a roof over their heads, and food in their bellies. Their well being all depends on me getting up, and going to work. Scares the crap out of me sometimes. But I do it.
It sounds like your mother just isn't the type of person to know how to sit down and just talk to you. Which I know is even harder.
Parents can suck sometimes. I think what you need is to spend some time with her. See if you can have your little sister in bed by a certain, time and you two can cuddle up and watch a movie together, and or talk about life. I think part of what is so hard about being a parent, is remember what it was like being a kid, or a teenager. Sometimes we forget.
All my best,
Mary
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Can boys be pregnant? (link)
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No my friend.
All my best,
Mary
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I’ve been searching for AGES.
I mean, I think my purpose could be having a gift to give to people, like time, effort, empathy, etc. but I don’t know.
I can’t talk to my therapist anytime soon, but I’m in desperate need of someone who is very wise to give me advice on finding my gift.
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It sounds like you yourself are pretty wise. You just said what your gift is. I wish I could say that it's as easy as, "go out and do it." Obviously it isn't.
Start by spreading positivity to everyone you see. People you see that otherwise look sad, or lonely themselves. It comes back to you, I swear.
While you're at it, take a minute to download Stories Blog by Memoirs blog, and keep your eye out for MY blog Anxiety 101.
While you're at it, start blogging yourself. Make the title whatever you want, but use it. When you're depressed, anxious, whatever, start writing.
The best place you're going to be able to write is in a hiking outside landscape. Like a hiking park, or whatever. Your most depressing music on the entire time. And you write. Everything that's upsetting you, or anything negative. Don't write the positive stuff down.
Once you don't think you can write any longer, close the blog, or the notepad, and look around outside. Change your music...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZbuj3RJcjI
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my employer wants me to sign an employment arbitration agreement. Have you ever heard of an employee demanding that an employer sign an arbitration agreement? what company would want to take away rights of the employee and what company reduces their employees pay at their discretion?? seem scamish to me as of if they have something up their sleeve
is this right/legal?
should I work for them or run away?
that whole agreement is odd to me
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Being that I'm not actually there with you, I'm just going to send you here INSTEAD.
I work here in the mornings. Grab 40 bucks, and give us a call.
8006222396
www.communitylegalsolutions.com
Arbitration is an agreement to settle outside of court, or a way of settling a dispute, but still outside of court.
Give us a call.
Tell them Mary sent you.
All my best,
Mary
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So every school year in my university career has been lonely and I’ve had enough of it. I say this every year but this year I really want to change it. I’ve wanted to join clubs but with people I know so I’m not alone when I go to an event. but I realized if I wait for other people I’ll never get anything done. For example my cousin was supposed to transfer to my school this year so we could join a cultural club (my culture) together but she ended up staying another year at her school. So this year I want to join it with or without her but I’m really scared. Yes the club is my culture but there’s a lot of international students at the club who were actually born in that country. The only relation I have to that country is that my parents are from there. So I don’t want to be the odd one out that yeah we have the same culture but we are socially different. Any tips? I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone since last year, last year I got my first official job, this summer I joined a volunteering club at my school where I have to talk to people at almost every event I do. I also started driving I’ve always wanted to drive but now that I’m on the road I get super anxious but I just have to deal with it. Now I want to join social clubs at my school but my anxiety isn’t allowing me to go by myself please help (link)
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Hey that club sounds great!!
FIRST, take a minute, and download Stories Blog, by Memoirs blog. I write a blog about Anxiety, called Anxiety 101. As you start out your journey to self discovery and figuring out what helps your anxiety, start blogging on that phone app about when you're feeling anxious. It's completely anonymous, which is awesome!
It's one of my FAVORITE tools to help me with anxiety.
Here are a few music links that I ALSO use for anxiety. ALSO SLEEP!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST56ATKfgfs&t=27937s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op3cqIlFczs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZbuj3RJcjI
Chances are, you're ALWAYS going to have anxiety. I myself chose not to medicate myself, because I was medicated my entire life. It just turned me into a zombie. So FOR ME SPECIFICALLY, I look to other things, more natural things.
Being shy, it's actually really easy to get out of. It
's SOLELY your mindset. It sounds like you have a pretty crappy mindset towards people in general. And I get it, people suck. But here's what I've learned.
Just talk. There are TWO ways the response can go.
ONE: They're ignore you.
TWO: They wanted to talk JUST as badly, so they talk to you.
Try to pick up on social cues. Look that up. Social cues.
Ultimately, talk about your interests, music is ALWAYS a good topic. Just speak from YOUR mind/heart.
The best people will like what you have to say/offer. But not everyone will. It's okay. Those people are meant for someone else.
All my best,
Mary
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I have this problem where I criticize people a lot, I think I learned it from people steadily criticizing me back in school. I feel I just "picked it up" from them, and I know that was completely wrong.
Now I can't stop.
It's not like I say it to their faces or to anyone else. I don't gossip or anything. I just criticize a lot in my head.
Do you think that the fact that I do that is sending negative energies out into the Universe and that's why no one likes me? Is that why my fiance's family ignores me all the time? Is that why my friends don't talk to me much except for the one that I don't criticize?
I mean, the only two people I don't criticize are my one friend, my fiance, and 99% of my family and 95% of random strangers.
I actually like everyone, I just can't stop criticizing.
Do you think if I did a loving kindness (metta) meditation every day to send loving kindness to everyone (I promise I love everyone, I'm actually trying to attract the lottery so I can give to as many people as I can, even those I criticize), that people would actually like me and want to talk/spend time with me? Would my fiance's family stop ignoring me? Would my friends actually try getting back in touch with me?
Please be serious. Please don't ridicule my beliefs and my problem. I know I'm wrong, I don't need to be ridiculed because of it.
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Hello my friend, and positive vibes your way. We have a a belief of the law of three. Whatever YOU put out into the world, (good or bad) it comes back to you threefold. I do truly believe this, and while some days it is hard to be positive, I find that forcing myself to be OUT LOUD is much easier to do.
I myself, am an empath. Which just means that I can feel what other people are feeling. Look it up when you have a chance. A lot of people may have those similar qualities, where they may instead just be sensitive to other people. They know. Whatever you put out into the world is going to come back to you.
At the end of the day, before you DO feel like criticising, take a second first, and think about what kind of person you want to be, and how you DON'T want to be. Do you REALLY want to be that person that no one can stand to be around, because you can't just be positive?
Everything WILL fall into place, you just have to believe it.
All my best,
Mary
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