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My mom never buys me clothing even if I ask
I’m a female, 13 years old. My mom hasn’t bought me any clothing since I was 10, she just suddenly stopped. I sometimes once in a while ask her for clothing but she would always make up an excuse not to buy it. She buys things for my little brother and she used to always buy clothes and shoes for my sister (she’s an adult now) A few days ago I asked if I could get a new pair of sneakers since the one I had was a hand me down from my sister, but she said no because she doesn’t know where to buy it/ it was too expensive. So I just shrugged it off without saying anything. About 2 days later she asked me if I wanted sneakers because she was going shopping and I said yea sure! She also added that if she couldn’t buy me them then she’ll buy sandals but when she came back she never bought any shoes for me, so I just shrugged it off again because I didn’t want to be mad about a pair of shoes. Later on I asked her if she could buy me some leggings because all the ones I have are ripped and old and she said ask your sister to buy you a pair or wear hers. I couldn’t do that since my sister is over protected over her clothes and if I asked her to buy me something she obviously would tell me no since she never buys any clothing for me. I can’t buy myself anything because I don’t have the moeny for it and I can’t go out to a mall or anything. All my other friends have brand new clothes and shoes while I’m stuck wearing hand-me-downs and clothes from years ago. Literally half my wardrobe is hand me downs from either my sister or mother. It’s not like I have a problem with them or anything but I just want something new for once in a while.
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I can't begin to figure out why your MOm would provide clothing for everyone else without a fight but not you. There seems no apparent logical reason.
Now if none of you had proper clothing and shoes to wear for the current weather, then that would indicate money problems. Either money is being mismanaged or there simply isn't enough.
I don't know if you live somewhere other than the U.S. but here, a parent has the responsibility by Law, to provide you with a roof over your head, sufficient clothes in good shape, and consistant healthy meals. If they choose to not reach out for help with any of that, then the fault lies with them and there are agencies that can step in and make sure it happens, like CPS. Child protective services is more concerned about finding way to teach and help parents rather than take their kids away. So don't worry if it comes to this, that Mom gets in trouble, its actually a way to get her the help she needs.
First ask her if there just isn't enough money to get you clothes. My kids wore lots of second hand clothes when growing up. But these were choics of theirs, in good condition at a second hand store. Theres nothing wrong with that. Kids also need to be able to express their own self in clothing choices such as their favorite colors. My youngest from age 5 on, was always attracted to sparkly clothes, like some glitter, sequins, bead-work or metallic threading through the clothes. Due to money issues, we shopped second hand first, then discount racks, or stores and lastly bought other things brand new like shoes, underwear and tights or leggings as those do get snagged and ripped easily and can't be found in second hand stores.
While in grade school, the teachers referred parents of students from low income families to a local charity for school kids where you could go every so many months to get free items. They had coats, brand new underwear, and clothing of all sorts. Signs instructed how many of each you could take. I don't know if your school knows of any such thing in existence in your area but its worth a try to ask teachers or a school counselor. Hand me down shoes is not a good idea for the main pair you will wear every day. All people will wear down the heels of their soles in different places due to something off in their skeletal frame or bad habits. For another person to wear worn shoes, can cause them to develop problems too, due to having to over compensate for wearing shoes with worn soles. A pair of sandals that may be worn only occasionally in summer or to the beach, we may have got second hand but it wasn't our main pair worn most the time.
If you let another adult at school know that you need some new clothing and Mom can't afford it, I am sure they can let Mom know of some agencies that can help. My kids also qualified for the hot lunch program free due to our income. And if there is help that the school officials make your Mom aware of, and she still does nothing to provide you with some new clothing, clothes appropriate for your age and in good condition, then it will probably take having an agency that looks after all kids welfare, that they are getting their basic needs met, getting involved. The school counselors can do that for you. If no one does however, you can call them yourself. Just research the office of CPS for your area in your state and let them know whats going on. There may be some issues that you are unaware, strange ones that cause your Mom to mentally decide to favor other siblings. No matter what her reasons, it is not normal and you shouldn't be shrugging it off as unimportant. In case there is dysfunctional thinking or even some mental disability causing your Mom to treat you as she has, having an agency step in and become aware of whats going on, can help Mom get put in touch with whatever proper help she needs.
When I was a kid, my parents were tight on money but we always got our basic needs met and never had to go without proper clothes. However, once I starting babysitting neighborhood kids at 15, I saved up and began to buy the special clothes I wanted that the parents couldn't afford. You might consider also doing something like that in the future, however you shouldn't have to worry about working now to get your own clothes. Thats Moms job. When the money is your own, you start to look differently at what is a basic need and what you don't want to spend your hard earned money on. One of my daughters wanted a brand name sneaker that many of her friends wore. She had birthday and christmas money saved up. I wasn't going to make her spend that. I knew my duty to get her new shoes as she needed them. So at the store we looked at the prices. The brand name was twice the amount I could afford. So I told her, I would put forward the amount of the cost of what the regular pair cost if she'd use her money to make up the difference to get the fancier brand name. She didn't go for that offer. Suddenly, the brand name didn't sound so good if she had to invest in it. I just mention this, so you keep an idea in your mind of what is reasonable and what is not. You do not live in the times of "Little house on the Prairie" where clothing stores were not readily available and people worn clothes too small or big for them and had to alter and mend what they had. You don't live in that time and there is plenty of help available so you should no longer have to be content with wearing your Mothers hand me downs. That is pretty disgusting. Were her clothes ALL second hand when she got them? I'll bet they weren't except for maybe one or two pieces. If she can spend brand new on herself but not you, that is wrong dear. SHe's putting herself first. Most parents would rather go with food or new clothes to make sure all their children have what they need. The more I think of it, something definitely is not normal with Mom. She may love you in her own way, but something needs to change and quickly. Reach out at school for help dear. I know it may feel scary but I assure you that you are not the first kid to have problems like this and school officials have encountered much much worse. This should be an easier and hopefully quick fix. Please let me know in the future how things turn out for you. I do care and will pray for you
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