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I think I'm jealous of my friend?
I have two friends that I'll call Friend A and Friend B. I met Friend A this summer, and we've been friends since! I would have to say I spend more time with Friend A. We play the same sport, eat lunch every other day, and we have a class together. In that class we have together theres this guy, aka Friend B. Me and Friend B only spend that class together, do we really only hang out during and after that class. Friend B has a ton of the same interests I do, which I suppose is why we became friends! Recently though, our teacher gave us assigned seats, and Friend A and B are now sitting right next to each other, while I'm halfway across the room. Friend A and B started bonding with each other, and I've been getting this pang of jealousy ever since. I'm feeling tye jealousy towards Friend A mostly. I don't understand why I'm feeling so protective over Friend B when I'm pretty sure me and Friend A have a better bond.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Yes. It sounds like jealousy. Jealousy is a fear of losing something or having lost something. In this case, your fear is that with the seating arrangement, and what you can see happening, it feels like you are being left out and might lose the level of friendship you have with either A or B.
Our minds play these games with us when more often than not, what loss or change we fear is not something that will go on forever or may not even be real. Sure its easier to be friendly with someone you sit next to. But its also true that a person can have more than one close friend. We call that best friend or bestie. That already is a false way of thinking, comparing people and finding one to be better than the other when the only comparison you can make is that any two people are different. I'll bet that A and B are not carbon copies of each other and that you although having much in common with friend B. You became friends with B first so when you see A becoming friends now with B, it feels like A is barging in on what y ou feel is an exclusive friendship, meaning that only you can be friends with B and that is acting territorial, and as if you owned the other person. I know you realize you don't own B but the ways our minds act and our emotions follow, is very similar to how upset we get if there is something we own, a coat an outfit and another person steals it from us. Then it makes sense to be upset but it wouldn't be jealousy. If you are friends with both, try inviting both to hang out with you on the weekend. It is quite normal for students to group together in small friendship groups where all are important parts of the group and equal friends. In thinking back to HS, in 9th grade I was one of 3 females and 2 males who formed a friendship group. By 12th grade, I had a totally different friendship group, all females, 6 total with me included. This is normal. SO focus on the good that can come from this, a small friendship group that you guys may add another person or two, to it rather than focusing on the negativee of A taking away what little time you have with B in school. Start thinking and find ways to spend time with B away from school or after school and be sure to include A because A is your friend too.
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