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How to make more friends?
Making friends is easier said than done if you’re an outgoing person. I’m not really outgoing, I’m super shy, I’m starting to get over my social anxiety but when I talk to people I meet at school I end up talking about school cause idk what else to talk to them about. Since all I do is go to work, school and then home (since growing up my parents didn’t let me go out so eventually people stopped inviting me out, I only go out once in a blue moon) Anyways during my first year of university I went to orientation week by myself (we weren’t allowed to bring friends who didn’t go to the school). I didn’t want to enter the orientation by myself so I saw a girl who was struggling and she said she was going to the same orientation area as I was and we became friends. Long story short no offence to her but she never wants to do anything to be involved in the school she always says she does but ends up not doing it, now she’s dropping out of school and I’m left with one friend again (that friend too says she wants to get involved but never does it unless I force her, she also says she wants to make more friends too but I’m the one that has to talk to the ppl first). I don’t want to do activities around the school alone, for one I’m not allow to cause the school clubs meet around 6pm which is already dark outside and my parents don’t want me on campus that late unless I have a friend/group of friends. Second usually when I do go to school events I notice people already are with their group of friends, so do you have any tips to make friends at my school? The semester is almost over so technically I only have 4 months left to make friends until the school year is over
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I would check out to see if your school has clubs.
Meet ups- is a website you can go to and look up your interests. By looking up your interests, ex. "volleyball," you will see places in your area where they play it. There are LOTS of activities on meet up. Lots of different hobbies, opens you up to new things.
That is a great way to meet new people.
Churches- I'm not sure if you have Faith church in your area or any other churches. They have events there. I love Faith church- lots of young people go to church events. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to be religious. Churches have different events.
Swing Dancing!!!- I love swing dancing. I don't know if you're into dancing. But this is a great way to meet friends and you do not have to have a dance partner! Maybe your area has swing dancing? It also helps you with social dancing and is an awesome scene. The dancers are awesome.
I used to go to bars by myself and do everything by myself. It takes time to meet people.
Facebook- has tons of events on there and sometimes I go to them by myself to meet people.
Newspapers- some newspapers even online have events you can go to, to meet people.
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Your parents are being overly protective. From what you are writing I would assume you commute to University from home. I also must assume if you are going to university you are 18 or over. This makes you a legal adult. Being a legal adult means that your parents can no longer have the control over you they had when you were a minor. The moment you turned 18 they lost that control. They do not get to see your grades; can no longer see your medical records or make medical decisions for you.
They also no longer can control who you see, where you go and when you go places. They only have that control if you give it to them and by that I mean by not saying , "I'm 18 now and I'm an adult I have the right to go out after six in the evening and I have the right to date who I please. Then the only control they have over you is a car if you drive a car they own.
You need to emphasize these rights to your parents as you need the freedom to join these clubs so you can start building friendships and exercising how to do so.
One thing I suggest before anything else is you move into the dorms on campus. You need to put some space between you and your parents. You need the freedom campus living allows.
There are numerous clubs to chose from to join. Find a club your interested in, one that you are knowledgeable in. Then just like conversations on school work you will be able to hold up your end of a conversation on the subject of the club. Conversations breed friendships. Friendships can lead to dates and dates lead to relationships.
Most importantly you need to move into the dorms on campus. See if there is dorm space available for next semester. Take out a student loan if necessary. I believe from what you have written you needed the freedom that dorm living will provide.
Some parent have a hard time letting go especially if they have only one child. Sometimes the child has to help them make the transition from parent in control to parent on stand-by to help you when you need help.
My son made it easy for my wife and me as he had joined the National guard and went directly from graduation to six months basic training. when he came home to go to the local community college we were already transitioned. So much so that when the head of one of the departments he was having a dispute with called me as they wanted me to take control over him. I said I'm not your student or your customer he is." "He is not your normal student; he is a soldier in the National Guard. You can either deal with him or you can call his First Sergeant just don't be surprised if the First Sergeant doesn't jump down your throat with both feet. They resolved the problem to my sons satisfaction which I believe is the first for a student under 25 years of age.
I'm not suggesting you join the military. I am suggesting you start being your own person and you can do so by moving to on campus living.
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