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should i tell my class teacher im depressed..if yes how ?
Hi :) im 18 and im in last year of high school..so every 3 months during the school year we have a "meeting" with our class teacher and everyone from the class(there is 28 of us in class) speaks with him for 10 minutes individually, the class teacher asks us how are we and how we are doing on other classes..and everytime he asks me how am i and i always say im fine...so on tuesday i have a 10min "meetin " with him (my class teacher)and i want to tell him that im not well , that im depressed(yes i really am)..i just feel so lonely, i have 2 close friends(Diana and Caroline) in class and i know they like me...but still no one texts me first, and i take long time until i get comfortable with someone, i also have social anxiety so im scared to talk to people(idk why but i do), im just scared of pepple, even after my friends told me they care about me i still feel lonely..and also i go to same class ,school with my twin brother, and they like him , even girls in my class like him more than me..he texts with almost everyone (girls, boys) and im invisible (nobody texts me, nobody cares about me :/)..i just want to tell it my class teacher(im not really close with my parents and i dont want them to know) bc i dont know what to do..im just so f*cking lonely but i try so hard to talk to people in my class , trying to be friends with them...i dont know what am i doing wrong ..whats wrong with me ? i just cant keep doing this anymore
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Depression and anxiety are not the same thing but closely related as far as I believe, due to fact that problems with our thoughts will affect both. Only clinical depression needs medication whereas the temporary depression due to a situation can feel just as bad but not be the bodys inability to create it's own NT's, neuro transmitters but just tied to distorted thinking. I have family with both types of depression, clinical and situational. Of course the ones with situational ones were given a list of simple things to do that will automatically raise those levels of the hormones that are too low or otherwise called 'depressed levels'. There are still Drs who do not check first to see if a person has one or the other type of depression and put them on medication immediately. Its up to you to ask for a Dr. licensed in CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy like the daughter who saw one and he realized she was never depressed before, only now due to getting dumped by boyfriend. She followed that list of things to do and was fine again and hasn't had any depression since then. If your parents won't take you to a Dr. then definitely tell the teacher so they can put you in touch with those who can help.
As for social anxiety, I can relate. I can't say if thats what you have but I was terrified to talk to people as a kid and teen. When younger, I wouldn't even go up to front of class to sharpen my pencil because I was terrified of people staring at me to see what I was doing. I could never do book reports and had failing grades as I refused after the first time when I shook and hands got clammy and my heart pounded in fear, I would stammer and felt like crying. Compared to just not knowing how to start a conversation or being shy, what I had is social anxiety although in the past there wasn't such a thing as social anxiety, it hadn't been termed yet and I was called shy. So there were no Dr. visits to help with that. In my last year of high school, I finally got desperate enough and tired enough of being this way that I was willing to try anything that could cure me and make me normal. Since Drs. didn't talk about or know this stuff yet, I just prayed and asked God for help and the list of things he gave me to follow and do were exactly what I read a few years ago in a book I read to see if I could recommend in the column here. The Dr, turned author wrote the exact same stuff that I got in answer to prayer and was cured in a short time, just a couple months or less. I have saved that list to share and will post it in here. If you do get checked out and depression is confirmed, you may want to see a Dr. who is licensed in CBT. Too many with situational depression are on meds and it doesnt help because its not going to the root of the problem, ones distorted thinking. IT would be the same crazy thinking if you had a cut or scrape that got infected and instead of treated the infection, just slapping a bandaid on it as the cure. Its not going to get better without flushing out the wound and treating with antibacterial ointment.
Heres a website of the Dr. turned author so you can know what I've shared is on the level and give you hope which is what you need most right now, that you can get better.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And here's my doc pasted in on how to deal with social anxiety. If you do not improve by following my instructions, then you will also want to ask a Dr. for help with the anxiety.
I used to be so shy I wouldn't get up to use the pencil sharpener in grade school because I didn't want the other kids to stare at me. I refused to do book reports for fear of speaking in front of the class. So my grades would suffer. In contrast, my dad was a very friendly extroverted person and always bringing home new friends he had made. Us kids liked it cus these “uncles” would bring candy for us and many had accents from around the world with lots of interesting stories too.
It took until I was about 17 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone )
and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
This should help you.
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Of course you should tell your teacher how you really feel. Besides teaching your teacher is there to help you. Should you parents be ignoring something that you feel is really wrong with you, such as depression, then your teacher is the next best person to ask for help.
You say you have social anxiety disorder (SAD. If you have not been actually diagnosed with this disorder don't label yourself with it. There is a big difference in having SAD and just being shy and retiring. If you are suffering with SAD there are medications to help you. If your just shy and retiring there are things that can be done to help you. Talk therapy is usually the best and if your prone to anxiety attacks their is medication for that as well.
We are far to quick to put labels on things to day. We put a label on how you feel and you go. Oh so that's what's wrong and you live up to the label ant not beyond.
We get letters every day for people your age saying they suffer with SAD. SAD is not that prevalent in your age group. Being shy and retiring is.
My advice is unless a doctor has diagnosed you drop the label. DO go to your family doctor for a complete physical and ask to be screened for depression. If your family doctor say you are depressed ask the doctor to recommend a Board Certified psychiatrist.
Why a psychiatrist; because teenage depression is usually cause by the lack of one or more hormones secreted into the brain. This being so your family doctor does not have the training to properly treat you. Where as a Board Certified psychiatrist has spent a year in a fellow ship and passed all the requirements to be certified as a practicing psychiatrist.
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