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Not sure how to move forward with my life.
First off. Im 26 female. Full-time job. I have not had a significant other in 4 going on 5 years. My last guy left me very heartbroken. And kept reappearing in my life . which allowed him to fully move on but not me. Last august i started therapy for depression, loneyness, panic attacks and anxiety. On a good day, things are good and hopeful. On a bad day.. Im very unconfident. I feel like my friend's dont put any effort in to invite me to things, And i feel like i will always be alone.I am on 3 dating websites and it seems like no one wants me. Most of my friends are hooked up so they do not want to go out past 9pm or they dont want to go to events that i might meet people at.
I try to be strong. To be hopeful. But my some days my love keep being just that.. Somday. I know im missing that part of happiness. I just dont know how to be happy with being alone and not having friends or someone to share my life and different events with. Im almos to the point of love will never happen to me again. I had my chance and it failed. I also keep hearinf my brain say somepeople just dont get their happy endings. But i hate saying itbbecause it makes me realize just how sad i am. And theres nothing i can do about it. Does anyone have advice or things i can read to beleive. It hurts being alone. Its so quiet. :(:'(
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
dear where are you located i will guide you a nice solution
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I think that if you have a a therapist, it is something to share with them.
Some of your symptoms sound a bit like Borderline Personality Disorder. Though you have a full time job, it still could be a possibility. (As many people with BPD can't sustain full time jobs)
Don't look into it too much, but see if the symptoms of BPD fit you. If they do, definitely ask about it to your therapist and they should let you know what they think about it.
It could very well be just depression/anxiety ect. but you might as well be safe.
As for things to make you feel better, I have a few ideas which could make things a little easier.
1. Go out more. If you don't go out much on your own outside of a job, this could be of use. You could go for a walk, go to the park, do some jogging.
Exercise has been noted to help depression and anxiety is some cases :) you've probably heard it before but there's no harm in trying.
Getting out with anxiety and depression can be extremely difficult and worse than to be solved with these things though but it might help juuust a tad.
2. Research your conditions. Look into self help and join forums about anxiety/loneliness/depression. Hearing other people have the same problems as you can be relaxing and make you feel as though you are not alone with how you are feeling.
3. You don't have to be happy with having no friends. You don't even need to not have friends!
I know that going out alone and going to these places with anxiety is tough, but as someone with GAD myself, I have learnt that going out and not relying on others to do what you want is what helps me improve, and it could be the same for you.No matter how stressful and impossible it seems to do, you can do it. You may feel anxiety, but think 'what's the worst that could happen' and do it anyway. Fight through it, don't let it become an excuse to not do what you want. It's so much easier said that done, but you can truly do it and you'll be so proud of yourself when you do something that you were anxious or thought you were too down to do that day.
4. Think about 3 good things that you did well or that went well. This could also be doing 3 things no matter, how small they are, that make you anxious and do them anyway a day. And when you do it, remember it, remember that you CAN do it. You WILL get better. You won't be alone and afraid forever, just keep fighting.
That person who left you, doesn't deserve you. You are much better than some flaky person who doesn't care how they make you feel. Don't talk to them, go out and talk to new people, message people on those dating sites, you can do it. You can move on and you will win.
Talk to people, tell them how you feel, find that person you can talk to with anything, fall in love again, you are so young. You can do anything. And I have no doubt that if you keep on going, and keep on fighting, everything will be worth it in the end.
You will be happy and confident and free.
If you can be hopeful, there is still hope.
Don't give up, okay?
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Hey! Dr.D here!
Don't be sad. Its okay. Let me tell you something.
A few years back, something like 4-5. I had a girlfriend. She was the light of my day. She was beautiful, funny, smart, always happy! One time she caught me crying before we had been dating because I lost my grandfather. And as I sat in this dark room, she held me tight and pet my head and kept telling me all these happy things, and when I felt better. she stared making jokes and made me forget! She made me so so so so so so so very happy... Till she died.
After that, I went into a deep deep depression. I had to go to therapy, I had to take pills. I even checked myself in asylum. I was a harm to myself. I brought clouds everywhere I went.
To this day. I remain single. I try my best to keep up a smile, and make jokes and be the light that she was to me. I will always remember her, and I will keep what she gave.
Now your probably thinking: Why is this dude telling me this depressing story of how his life fell apart? Because I know where you are. Your sad, your alone. You want a friend. Someone to love. I dont even know what to say. But, I can be your friend. I can help you, if you have questions, or if your feeling lonely or sad. I know the pain. So let me help you. If you want, feel free to message me privately and I will help you.
Life is hard. And we make it harder. But we also make it, a little better. Trust in me. And let me help you. If you ever need to talk. Go ahead and message me. And I'll help you, almost like a friend. :-)
-Braden Dwinell
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Hey! Dr.D here!
Don't be sad. Its okay. Let me tell you something.
A few years back, something like 4-5. I had a girlfriend. She was the light of my day. She was beautiful, funny, smart, always happy! One time she caught me crying before we had been dating because I lost my grandfather. And as I sat in this dark room, she held me tight and pet my head and kept telling me all these happy things, and when I felt better. she stared making jokes and made me forget! She made me so so so so so so so very happy... Till she died.
After that, I went into a deep deep depression. I had to go to therapy, I had to take pills. I even checked myself in asylum. I was a harm to myself. I brought clouds everywhere I went.
To this day. I remain single. I try my best to keep up a smile, and make jokes and be the light that she was to me. I will always remember her, and I will keep what she gave.
Now your probably thinking: Why is this dude telling me this depressing story of how his life fell apart? Because I know where you are. Your sad, your alone. You want a friend. Someone to love. I dont even know what to say. But, I can be your friend. I can help you, if you have questions, or if your feeling lonely or sad. I know the pain. So let me help you. If you want, feel free to message me privately and I will help you.
Life is hard. And we make it harder. But we also make it, a little better. Trust in me. And let me help you. If you ever need to talk. Go ahead and message me. And I'll help you, almost like a friend. :-)
-Braden Dwinell
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First what I see talking here is the depression talking. Having been depressed myself I feel confident that is what I am seeing in your writing. Stay in therapy and talk to your therapist about how you feel.
Bout those dating websites. Take down your listings for a month or so. I have a feeling you wrote the profiles while you are depressed. If I'm correct people are not seeing the real you. Here again you need to talk to your therapist and when he or she says your ready you put your profile back on one or two dating websites.
This time you go and have your hair and makeup done then have your photograph taken by a photographer. Use one of the pictures for your profile picture and you have the rest of the package to send to family.
I suggest when you fill out the profile have a good friend sit with you. Why, because we are all to hard on ourselves and a good friend can help you be more you in your profile.
Stay the course with your therapist there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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