Member Since: May 31, 2017
Answers: 2
Last Update: May 31, 2017
Visitors: 541
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First off. Im 26 female. Full-time job. I have not had a significant other in 4 going on 5 years. My last guy left me very heartbroken. And kept reappearing in my life . which allowed him to fully move on but not me. Last august i started therapy for depression, loneyness, panic attacks and anxiety. On a good day, things are good and hopeful. On a bad day.. Im very unconfident. I feel like my friend's dont put any effort in to invite me to things, And i feel like i will always be alone.I am on 3 dating websites and it seems like no one wants me. Most of my friends are hooked up so they do not want to go out past 9pm or they dont want to go to events that i might meet people at.
I try to be strong. To be hopeful. But my some days my love keep being just that.. Somday. I know im missing that part of happiness. I just dont know how to be happy with being alone and not having friends or someone to share my life and different events with. Im almos to the point of love will never happen to me again. I had my chance and it failed. I also keep hearinf my brain say somepeople just dont get their happy endings. But i hate saying itbbecause it makes me realize just how sad i am. And theres nothing i can do about it. Does anyone have advice or things i can read to beleive. It hurts being alone. Its so quiet. :(:'( (link)
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I think that if you have a a therapist, it is something to share with them.
Some of your symptoms sound a bit like Borderline Personality Disorder. Though you have a full time job, it still could be a possibility. (As many people with BPD can't sustain full time jobs)
Don't look into it too much, but see if the symptoms of BPD fit you. If they do, definitely ask about it to your therapist and they should let you know what they think about it.
It could very well be just depression/anxiety ect. but you might as well be safe.
As for things to make you feel better, I have a few ideas which could make things a little easier.
1. Go out more. If you don't go out much on your own outside of a job, this could be of use. You could go for a walk, go to the park, do some jogging.
Exercise has been noted to help depression and anxiety is some cases :) you've probably heard it before but there's no harm in trying.
Getting out with anxiety and depression can be extremely difficult and worse than to be solved with these things though but it might help juuust a tad.
2. Research your conditions. Look into self help and join forums about anxiety/loneliness/depression. Hearing other people have the same problems as you can be relaxing and make you feel as though you are not alone with how you are feeling.
3. You don't have to be happy with having no friends. You don't even need to not have friends!
I know that going out alone and going to these places with anxiety is tough, but as someone with GAD myself, I have learnt that going out and not relying on others to do what you want is what helps me improve, and it could be the same for you.No matter how stressful and impossible it seems to do, you can do it. You may feel anxiety, but think 'what's the worst that could happen' and do it anyway. Fight through it, don't let it become an excuse to not do what you want. It's so much easier said that done, but you can truly do it and you'll be so proud of yourself when you do something that you were anxious or thought you were too down to do that day.
4. Think about 3 good things that you did well or that went well. This could also be doing 3 things no matter, how small they are, that make you anxious and do them anyway a day. And when you do it, remember it, remember that you CAN do it. You WILL get better. You won't be alone and afraid forever, just keep fighting.
That person who left you, doesn't deserve you. You are much better than some flaky person who doesn't care how they make you feel. Don't talk to them, go out and talk to new people, message people on those dating sites, you can do it. You can move on and you will win.
Talk to people, tell them how you feel, find that person you can talk to with anything, fall in love again, you are so young. You can do anything. And I have no doubt that if you keep on going, and keep on fighting, everything will be worth it in the end.
You will be happy and confident and free.
If you can be hopeful, there is still hope.
Don't give up, okay?
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We were dating for about three months when my boyfriend said "i love you" during sex. I ignored it because, frankly, I didnt want to ruin the moment and I wasn't ready for that. I know this happens sometimes just because it's a passionate situation. But, a moment later he asked if I heard him. Again, I ignored it. Again, he asked if I heard him. I say yes and left it at that. A few days later I asked him why he said it. He said he was just expressing how he felt. I let him know that I cared about him, but I didn't feel like we knew each other well enough to go there yet and that isn't something I just throw out there or offer lightly. We haven't spoken about it again. Now it's been six months and I'm wanting to express to him that i love him. Was the last time just a slip in the heat of passion?....even if he asked if I heard him twice? Should I wait until he says it again?...or is he probably waiting for me since I reacted the way that I did? (link)
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I think there's a simple solution to this; tell him how you feel.
He said it to you first, and you rejected him.
If he asked if you heard it, he probably meant it too.
You should be the one to tell him how you feel now that you feel the same, it's only fair.
If he hasn't said it again since it's likely because he is afraid or because he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable with it.
If you waited for him to tell you again it might be that he gets frustrated and feels like you don't love him. This could even result in him breaking up with you over it.
I really believe that you need to tell him if you feel the same back.
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