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Was it sexual abuse
I'm 23 yrs old male. I am from Indonesia. Something just triggered me to ask this now. When I was a child (8 or 10 maybe), my father tend to touch my genital and i get hard (not in a fondling manner but only a poke). He sometimes kisses my ears so i get an erection too. BUT it is not in a creepy, forced, sexual way. It's more of a playful thing. He sometimes wrestle me or tickles me then does that and we just laugh
Thing is, I kinda liked the sexual stimulation i got back then. I would sometimes intentionally stay beside him to 'play'. And i think it affected me now. I just want to confirm if it really was sexual abuse or im just overthinking (I dont know if its really abuse because i also see some people touch the genitals of other young boys to tease them in public here)
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well, sounds like it could of been a mild sexual abuse. talk to your mother about it if can or sibling and then tell your dad how it made you feel and forgive him , as none are perfect, as another has said its not normal for a parent to toch genitals less its diaper changing and the ear thing is also not a good thing as its a flirtatious act. hope you get better ill pray for you!
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With children in diapers, it is the only time a parent would be touching the child in the genital area to clean them up again and that is not a playful touch, just wiping the skin and checking all folds to be sure the skin is clean. Once trained to privately pee or have bowel movements and clean up on their own, thats the point where a parent no longer should be touching childrens genitals, not even for fun. I do not know the customs of Indonesia. Perhaps this is something all males do and it is common and not thought of as bad. So I really can't say. I just know that in the USA, it is not okay and the same for many other countries. Do teenage boys or adult men do this to each other? If not, and it is done only to young boys, then it may not be a custom of your country and actually sexual abuse. NOw if he never touched ypur private area but you got aroused and erection from him just touching you elsewhere, like kissing your forehead or ears or rubbing your back, then the issue was all you. You would be the one who reacted to simple loving touchs that were not on the genitals.
What I can say for sure is that young kids usually do not even have any sexual interest or even ability to enjoy touching their own genitals. But in rare cases, some will touch themselves. My husband remembers being about 4 or 5 and parents leaving him with a sitter while they left for the evening. The sitter was another adult mom from next door who was supposed to give him his bath and put him to bed. He recalls being washed by this woman. And she used the wash cloth on all his body including a quick cleaning of the genitals. He remembers liking how it felt and thought the lady was very pretty. As an adult later, he discovered he was one of those few people who have a high libido and is interested in older women. No trauma or worrying, no odd sexual behavior. He was sexually aware at a young age too but not because someone touched him there. If you know that you are not emotionally damaged by it, then I suppose all is okay and you don't have to worry about it.
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