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I need advice right now
Ok so I have this friend lets call her Sam and she has a boyfriend. She told me that she thinks she has feelings for someone else other than her boyfriend. She also told me not to tell her boyfriend because she thinks he'll get mad. But me being me I pushed her into telling her boyfriend. Now I feel like if I made things worst for them because they both look sad and they won't even talk to me. I only did it because I knew that the guilt would overwhelm her and if she told him it would be better. What do I do? I don't want them to break up but even worse, our friendship to fall apart.
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It is perfectly normal for this situation to occur where one has a bf/gf and while committed to that person, they come across someone else they have interest in. I dont know your ages so i don't know if it would work but when I was divorced and looking for someone, I told every guy that I was considering spending time with to get to know better, that I was not locking myself in to dating only one guy. I told every man I met, that I would date whomever sounded like a potential boyfriend or future husband until I had decided I found the one or not. I even had one man say, Please pick me, pick me! He was to desperate and not strong in character as I found out. The only trick to doing this, is that with each new person you are interested in, you need to tell them upfront what you will be doing and if he can't handle it, he's free to leave. I never found a guy afraid of competing while dating, with other guys dating me. I had plenty who were willing until I decided.
You were not asked for advice. But i know your heart is good as you never meant for it to cause more problems. Her bf would eventually have learned that she likes someone else. If only crushing but there is no real relationship with the other guy, it wasn't a real thing, no way to know if the other guy felt the same. If however shes met with and knows the other guy likes her back, then she has 2 guys that like her at the same time. Apologize as her friend for interfering and then ask her questions, get some straight answers until you know for sure whats what. then ask her if she still trusts you to tell you what she thinks and if she wants to bounce her thoughts and ideas off you in regards to the 2 guys. Always ask her if it is okay to share with her something you see that she may not since its coming from a different viewpoint. this is how most people end up making better decisions, always asking others for their advice but in the end, with all the new learned aspects, the decision is still hers. Just let her know it is normal to date several the same time as long as all the guys know about it from the beginning and are okay with it. This is a good way to screen out a guy with low self esteem and low confidence who gets jealous and possessive easily. Such a guy will not agree to others dating her at the same time. Such a guy may demand that she tell the others to go if she really wants him and force a girl to make a decision to stick with him instead. that would be a mistake. Females have more control over dating and relationships than we know. Most times we simply give away our power and when that is done, the power of and over our lives is being given to someone who will misuse it. She may be upset with you right now but you don't know that. She just looks sad. If not ready to pick up with you at this point, then after things have blown over, she may be more ready. A real true friend if mature enough will see that you did this only because you cared so much about her not making a mistake. So she most likely will patch things up with you. If not, then you have just learned more about your girlfriend that she holds grudges and doesnt like to forgive, etc. And someone like that is not mature enough for you to be happy with as a friend right now. So don't feel too bad about this and look at it as a learning experience. I am sure you will do fine. But you can always ask more of me as things occur.
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Talk to her and apologize for pushing her to talk to her boyfriend but make it clear that you care for her. Explain to her that you want her to be happy. Her boyfriend and her might be having a difficult time so it might be a good idea to give her some space to think things over. Let her know that you will always be there for her and you want her to do what will make her happy.
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