Hi :) Sorry i took long time to response...so i guess im friendly, i try to be kind to people,im polite, loyal to my friends ,im trustworthy , i try to not to disappoint my friends and family...but my big problem is that i try to please everyone, even if i dont want to do it , i´ll do it...i dont know to say no to people, i try to please my friends and my family so they would like me ....i have one more year in high school and soon i will have to choose college i will go on after i graduate, i want to graduate from English, German language and history bc i want to be tour guide bc i thought it would allow me to travel the world and recently i started to care more about photography so i would like to do something more creative ..i dont really know what would be good idea as a job ..and i feel my parents putting pressure on me when choosing college(and i feel i have to please them) so in the future i would have well-paid job.....also i dont think i will make it to college for the reasons i mentioned in my previous questions, maybe its just meant to be like that :/
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? rainhorse68 answered Friday March 10 2017, 4:22 am: This is much better! Some admirable character and attitude attributes here, for sure. The matter of putting your own plans and projects on hold so you can help others shows empathy and compassion. BUT! Doing it all the time is a symptom of that low self-esteem thing again. We
hope to make-up for our own low opinion of ourself by winning the high regard of others. In fact, a big step in raising our feelings of self-worth is by saying 'No' sometimes, and/or agreeing but 'when you can fit it in' (ie. convenient for you). You're probably thinking that this will make them like you less? What it actually does is make them have a greater respect for you. They see you are not just on earth to be a help to them, called on when they need it and dropped afterwards. You have plans of your own and a life of your own.
So, why do parents seem to pressure their offspring into doing well academically and succeeding? Because they love us, it is as simple as that. We want the best for those we love. We want them to be happy. Your mother knows that a life of worrying about unpaid bills, of always 'doing without' the nice things is not a happy one. Where is that all-important 'quality of life' we all aspire to? To seize this quality of life needs an adequate income. The income that comes with a responsible job with prospects. The kind of position that nearly always calls for a high standard of education. Now, we've talked about
the social aspects of school and college life. But let's not forget what we are actually there for. It is to secure our academic success. So that when we apply for the more prestigious positions we do not fall at the first-line vetting process. If you do not tick the
qualification-boxes your application goes straight onto the reject stack. The boss will not go back to that stack for a second look. It
really is essential that you do not compromise your studies because of the seemingly random attitudes of your friends, or the fact that one
guy does not want a relationship. Neither will the success or failure of your brother cut any ice in the world of business and commerce.You
stand or fall on your own merits at the end of the day.
Could I suggest you 'take stock' as it were, and really focus on the academic side of things? Your school and university period is so short compared to the rest of your working life. Effort now pays off later. I know that in many aspects of life we can play a perfect game and still lose. But with education we actually do get out what we put in. The more we invest the greater the return. I promise you that. It's maybe the only truly 'level playing field' we come across. It's time to make a plan. And get it up and running. Tour guide? Why not? Leisure and tourism is a growth industry. There's cash to be made! Although there are more pictures around us than ever, it is strangely harder to make a good living in photography than it was years ago. Maybe because so many people can do it quite well with modern digital gear? But there is always room for the best. Could we run this alongside our tour-guide career? You're in the right places! We'll also mention that it is not always the actual subjects which are key to our success. Higher education demonstrates that we are able to assimilate and process information at the highest level. That we can manage our time and resources. That we are pro-active and self-motivated. Potential high-achievers. Studying languages, for instance says to a would-be employer that you are a natural communicator. Journalism, trainer, teacher, avisor, HR manager...all jobs for the communicator and the'people-person'. And all a whole lot better paid than packing boxes in
a warehouse!! And who would you say gets more job satisfaction? We spend a lot of our time at work, if it is something you hate it will
be no fun at all. OK, any job will be a drag sometimes, even the creative type you want. But at least you can console yourself with the
fact you are getting well paid for it! Cash does not solve everything or buy happiness. But I guarantee you that a lack of it makes a lot of the things we desire and enjoy absolutely impossible.
Now, let's drop any idea that you are destined not to win your university place, or secure your future. Sorry, that's total nonsense!! Destined to fail? Why? Who is holding you back? Who CAN hold you back? I can see you have been taking plenty of emotional knocks lately. Let the main positive we draw from this be focus and drive. The 'spur' to make your life what is should and could be? The goal is becoming your own person. Self-sufficient. Capable. You won't
worry if a guy turns you down. His loss! In short, you won't take any shit from anyone!! So what sort of women do you admire? Why? Tell me
about it? Let's get the plan drawn-up. Once you've got a plan you are a force to be reckoned with. As humans we are all similar to the idea of a horse and rider. Our inner 'horse' provides the motive-power. Our 'rider' channels the power and gives it direction and purpose. Without the rider the power is random. With no real objective. Think about this? XX [ rainhorse68's advice column | Ask rainhorse68 A Question ]
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