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Why do middle aged women feel the need to flirt with young men around me
It really bothers me when middle aged women who I admire, look up to, and feel nurtured by feel the need to flirt with and outpour their attention to young men my age (I am 24/f). It's not even that I want to "get in on the competition", as I wouldn't even go for the boys in my school because they are annoying and crass. Actually, I'm more jealous that these female friends are giving THEM the attention and not me (it's not jealousy in a romantic way, but a mother figure way). So why do these women who are my dear friends, mentors, and teachers feel the need to prove that they have the ability to flirt with young men around me? By the way, I'm pretty virginal and inexperienced and don't have a flirty personality, actually the opposite as I usually do not desire attention from the boys who surround me on a day to day basis. I'm not sure if that's relevant. I can't see why they would feel the need to "compete" with me, if that's the case.
Please do not guilt or shame me or tell me I'm selfish. I would really love some honest intellectual opinions on this topic so I can understand it.
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I love what Adviceman said to you. It is great info.
It is important to realize that not only men have a sex drive but women too. Men are just more talked about and seen as having a sex drive. I remember the time I sat at lunch at work with one older friend who had other older ladies from other departments. One woman noticed and watched one man walk by and commented that he had a very nice looking butt. The other older women agreed and I was flabbergasted that they would even speak of it in front of others. It took just a split second tho to look his way and notice that here was a man who wore pants that fit his rear well and didn't sag as most mens pants do. I am not talking of saggy baggy youth styles but the fact that men like women are not all one size but pants for men just aren't made to show off their rears. I was quiet and didn't say I agreed. HOwever I learned that sex drive in older women isn't necessarily dead. Lots of women after having kids no longer want sex or some after lots of years of marriage go lax on their appearance and don't care anymore and become more like a sister to their mate than a wife. If you consider these women to be mentors and teachers. then learn from observing them. Self confidence and knowing how to talk to a guy and how to flirt are terrific things to learn and in todays time, not many people your age even know how to talk face to face (due to technology) let alone anything else. So older people do have something for you to learn. This doesn't mean you have to flirt indiscriminately with any and all males, only the one you are attracted to. It is okay to be virginal, but to hide from your own sexuality and not care to grow in this area, may be the difference of you finding a mate someday or not. These women are not ignoring you. They are simply paying attention to a younger man for one of the several reasons you've already been told by adviceman. You only feel left out because this is all so foreign to you, talking to, flirting and paying attention to a guy. If you really don't like their style and they are very too crass and disgusting, then find yourself another mentor you don't feel this way about but still knows how to be comfortable as a female in her own skin and also aware of her appeal to men, etc etc...
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I don't think the middle aged women are competing with you as much as they are trying to prove to themselves that they still have sex appeal or can attract a younger male. There are women of middle age that are trying to attract a young male but not all of the middle age women are. The ones that are may be or probably are divorced and referred to as Cougars. In some instances they may have cheating or sexually inattentive husbands and still desire a sex life. A young male in college is an obvious choice for a fling as they are there for only a short period of time and the young male is generally not looking for romance.
All of this being said the percentage of middle aged women who are flirting with young men or who are actually looking to have a fling with a young male is actually statistically quite low. It may seem high to someone if they happen to reside in an area that the middle aged women would seek out young male companionship such as near a college campus. Statistically I believe this is called clustering.
If you are judging all middle aged women by this one cluster, then you may be judging a book by the cover and missing the actual truth of what’s inside. Sure you can find Cougars in any town but you will find more of them where the young male is in greater supply.
To say all middle aged women flirt with young men is to me the same as saying all men cheat on their wives. This is just not true.
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