|
How Can I Move?
I m 18 and will be 19 next June. My best friend said I could move in with her and my family is against it. They re very religious and don t let me watch anything that has magic or anything that would be offensive in the Bible (rated r, LGBTQ) and I m not allowed to date (I have a LDR boyfriend but my mom refuses to allow it, saying that s not dating anyway and my bf could die at anytime because of cancer related concerns) and I'm not allowed to drive and they want me to work in a place they don t like themselves. As soon as I bring up the subject she either screams at me or gives me the silent treatment for a few days. My friend isn t reckless and is responsible (my mom not liking her because she says I just want to do whatever I want over with her because her parents aren t as strict) My siblings (who are all 20+ and live at home) gang up on me and guilt trip me too, saying my mom could have died when I was born. I tell my mom calmly that I want to move and I just end up being screamed at. I even ended up crying in the counselor s office. My counselor suggested talking to her calmly and she ended up saying I shouldn t move because she tried when she was my age and wanted to and she didn t like it. I want to have approval to do it but I don t want to keep being screamed at.
What can I do? (and please don t just say prove you re responsible because Ive tried and she just says I think I m so smart and think the world is perfect etc. They bring up mistakes I made from six years ago) (I also live in a real small town so it isn't that easy)
Thank you!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
In all actuality you do not need parental permission for anything you have listed. The only reason you do is the fact that you live at home and there is an unwritten rule that all children abide by which is; If I live under their roof, I live by their rules."
You are 18 soon to be 19 years old. Legally you are an adult and no longer subject to your parents’ wishes. You parents are no longer legally responsible for you either. TO show this in an example: If say on Tuesday you were 17 and your birthday is the next day Wednesday you turn 18. If on Tuesday you get in trouble with the police you could be released into the custody of your parents. Get into the same trouble on Wednesday you are now an adult and you would have to post bail.
The fact that you are an adult means you no longer need to listen to your parents if you want to do something. They have no legal control over you. The only control they have is probably financial. If you can support yourself then they have no control and you can move out if you wish. Learn to drive a car, watch TV programs as you wish, go to church or not, date who you want and take any job you wish.
Should you decide you are grown up enough to move out of your parents’ house understand they can cut all ties with you that have been in place to support you. I'm not saying they will though I do know some parents that have and have interceded with a young lady whose parents did just that. They took her husband’s side in a divorce until they heard from me.
Before you decide to leave home here is some advice to think about. In the event your parents will decide to let you sink or swim on your own you need to make sure you can swim. TO do this requires you make sure you are financially secure. This means having a budget. Your budget includes the following:
3 month’s rent and utilities in the bank – this is a must, then budget for the following items.
Transportation
Food
Insurance – Health and Dental
Clothing
Dry Cleaning
Entertainment – Includes your portion of a cable bill.
Cell Phone
Savings - this is a must even if it is a little as $5.00 a pay check
Emergency Funds
There may be other items you want to budget for though these are the basic needs you will need to budget for. If you cannot cover these needs with your current pay check then moving out of your parents’ house is not an option. If you find you cannot move out at this time use this budget to as a guide to work towards to the day you can move out.
]
More Questions: |