Question Posted Thursday February 16 2017, 9:46 am
so basically friend A told me that friend B told her that I talked shit behind her, which I didn't, and it's actually B that talked shit about A and I just listened.
It all started when friend A accused B because A said that friend C said something about B. B then dragged me down too and say that I talked shit about A. Now I admit that I was there when B was trash talking about A but I never did talk shit about A, i was the one who changes the topic because I dont want drama. Although A said that she still trusts me, I believe that things are still quite awkward between us, and I don't know about friend B, i mean she just dragged me down when I really trusted them BOTH and I just didn't know she would say something like that.
Please tell me what I should do with A and B x
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? solidadvice4teens answered Monday February 20 2017, 6:38 pm: Tell the truth that while you were physically present and heard what was being said that you never participated in the conversation and it made you unfcomfortable. Tell her that you don't talk "shit" about people ever. The only mistake you made was NOT telling your friend what people were saying behind her back. You may like this girl who did this to your friend but I would think long and hard whether she's the kind of person you want in your inner circle.
If she talks badly about people she may be doing it about you and anyone she knows. The person who she said vile things about needs to know so she can make a decision about what to do. If this friend doesn't believe you didn't partake in this there's not much you can really do. [ solidadvice4teens's advice column | Ask solidadvice4teens A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Thursday February 16 2017, 10:52 pm: I think that this would all be easier if I knew what you consider a true "friend" to be. If A, B and C are truly friends, not just mere acquaintances or people that you just happen to know but don't consider friends, then as a true friend, none of these girls would talk trash about a mutual friend behind their backs. That's bad enough to dump the friendship. But to put the blame on you when you are innocent is even worse. Sounds more like the workings of an enemy than a friend.
You can't blame A for not knowing what to think even though she says she trusts you. I think she may know from history that you are not that kind of person and is trusting you alone on that. But then who is to say what scenerio's come up in her mind wondering if there might be a certain situation/circumstance which would cause you to do this for the first time and that may be why things are awkward between you.
If this is very unusual behavior for B, or anyone else for that matter, and its the first time they have ever done something crappy like this to you and A, then I would personally let the person know that I will not tolerate any more of this kind of crap in the future. If not her usual way of being, ask her whats going on in her personal life, what is stressing her. People tend to dump on the ones they are closest to when under great stress. If there is no reason, no turmoil in her life and this is just how she is, then its time to stop associating with her.
If she seems to be sorry, then to give her another chance, tell her she needs to confess to A and ask her forgiveness for both talking badly behind her back and making up the lie that you are the one who did it. If she is unwilling to do so, then tell her that this friendship is over and tell her to keep away from you. You can not tell her who else she needs to stay away from,like A or anyone else. That is up to A whether she also wants to dump B as a friend and tell her to stay away. If so, you need to make it clear to A that you are no longer associating with B and if she still wants to, then she can only see you when its just her and you doing something together and she can see B on her own without you around.
If A is smart, she will realize that by your disassociating with B, that it must be for a reason so it must be true that she is the one at fault, especially if she knows that you are not usually like that.
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