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I Feel Violated
I'm a 29 year old woman and I went to get a massage today. I've been getting massages since 2010 and have been to the particular spa I went to today multiple times in the past and have always had a good experience there. However, today something happened that made me feel uncomfortable and violated.
I'm pretty certain that today was the first time I'd ever gotten massaged by a man. When massaging the upper part of my chest, he ran his hand across on of my breasts. It was just an accidental boob graze, it seemed deliberate and he did it very slowly like he knew what he was doing. I feel like some people would say that it was just part of the massage, but I've never had that happen to me during a massage before ever. I've had therapists boob graze me before, but it's always been just the top part of my breasts while I had a blanket over myself and their hand was on the outside of the blanket. This time his hand was underneath the blanket on my bare breast and ran almost all over it. And that wasn't all that happened.
I wore my panties and he ran his hand underneath them and touched my rear end. Again, not just an accidental graze, but a deliberate, long lasting touch. He intentionally put his hand underneath my panties several times. I've always heard that massaging the butt was normal, but it should be outside of the panties and blanket. It seems like I heard somewhere else that wearing underwear let's the therapist know that you don't want to be touched there.
All of that was one thing, but he also repetitively ran his hand into my vagina. I thought I'd let him know that I was uncomfortable, but he kept doing it. I wish I'd have tried harder, but I was just so surprised and embarrassed. I don't know what to do. Am I making too much of this or am I right to feel violated?
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You were violated and depending how much of an incident you want to make of it her is what you can or could do.
1. You could go to a lawyer for advice as the Spa is responsible for the actions of its employees. There is recourse through the courts for you if you can prove this happened. It is going to be your word against his; other customers are going to need to come forward to back up your claim.
2. Call the Spa and speak with the owner and lodge a complaint about this therapist. Advise the owner you’re considering filing a formal complaint with the police.
3. Consider filing a police report, something I recommend you do. The police will investigate by talking to other women he has massaged. If they find a pattern of his abusing women they will make an arrest. If they do follow the advice in number 1.
You are correct the wearing of your panties is a signal to the therapist you do not wish to be massaged there or massaged over the blanket but not hand to skin. His putting a finger in your vagina is a form of rape. A massage is not consent for him to finger you hence you have a charge of rape you can bring as well as sexual harassment
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I suffer from chronic lower back pain for which a massage is part of my treatment. The pain goes into my butt and down my thigh. My therapist must massage my butt and when she does she is careful to fold the blanket to cover my privates both when I am on my stomach and back. I prefer a woman therapist for their smaller hands and each has been very careful to protect my modesty when working in that area. Your therapist for whatever reason violated you modesty and in fact raped you.
My advice would be to go right to number 3 and file a police report. Let them investigate.
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