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How to tell my parents i want to date someone
I am 14 yrs old and my parents are pretty strict about me dating and have said that i cannot date till i am a sophomore(even though my older brother dated a girl in eighth grade). I am in eighth grade and we have a semiformal and a boy asked me and i said yes and now I don't know how to tell my parents and I am scared to even tell them. How should i tell them and what do i do if they say no?
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But don't you socialize with your peers already anyhow? Don't you visit one another and go out for meals, movies and activities? Why call it a date? What's in a word? A good place for advice in dealing with your parents, might actually be Planned Parenthood.
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I have 3 daughters, and like adviceman was talking about, this is two different kinds of dates. While my daughters weren't allowed to date in middle school officially, they were allowed to attend school dances which are chaperoned. This is different from a boy and girl going off on a date all by themselves to dinner, a movie or someplace else. For one thing, at that age, you don't drive yet so it limits the kind of dating you can do. Now if dating someone means nothing more than simply hanging out with this guy at school, that is fine, that is not real dating, that is a preferance to whom you spend time with as friends. You have female friends who are just school friends whom you dont see outside of school and others that you do hang out with outside of school.
The biggest issue for all parents of female children is the worry of a daughter getting pregnant or being abused by a boyfriend. Physical abuse is very high right now among teens and so it is best if even while in HS, you communicate with the parents about your life and issues like dating and guys. If they are hard to talk to or dont have the time, not openminded, then find an adult who knows you whom you c an talk freely too like an aunt, a grandma, even a friends mom whom you may feel close to.
I vote for talking to the parents. If their immediate reaction to you attending the dance is a no, ask them what the reason is for not allowing you to go. Ask if you can appeal their decision by providing more info that may help them change their view. If you know who will be surpervising at the dance, you could give them the names of those teachers and parents and ask if they would feel better talking to some of those people beforehand asking them to keep an eye on you at the dance. Good Luck.
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I think you are worried over nothing. This is not the type of dating your parents may be forbidding. This is a date where you will be well Chaperoned by teachers and school administrators. Either your parents or his will pick you up and take you to the dance and bring you home. There will not be a time when you and the boy will not be under the watchful eyes of an adult.
This is dating with training wheels so to speak. It allows you to have a date with a boy and see what dating is like. It gives both of you a chance to learn the proper elements of dating (Call this parent talk). As you get older and develop more into a women boys will become all hands trying to get you to do things you shouldn't or don't want to do. This happens when you are on un-chaperoned dates such as going to the movies or bowling. Things like that.
There is a double standard when it comes dating. As parents we want our daughters to be older and more mature before we allow them to date. After all they and not our sons are the ones that can get pregnant. That is why your brother was allowed to date in the eighth grade. I'm also sure your dad and possibly your mom had a talk with your brother as I had with my son on his first date as to where to keep his hand and other parts of him while he was out with his girl friend.
To answer your question: Just tell mom a boy has asked you to a school dance. I think she will be thrilled. Have the boys phone number handy as mom may want to call and talk with his mom if she doesn't know the boy. That's just something parents do and nothing to be embarrassed about. You will do the same when you have a daughter and she is invited to a school dance. Trust me on this for my sister said she would never do it but she did for her two girls.
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