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i can't stop masterbating!
Hi if you've answered my questions before you know what this is about. I have actually been whacking since 13 and coming since 14 and I love the feel. But the problem I I can't stop. I D it 1-4or 5 times a day. And when I'm not whacking I'm still having sexual thoughts. I need help because I'm an artsy person so I have an active imagination so yes I imagine stuff in class one time in Christian camp😓 I need help but it feels so good.
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As all have said, masturbating especially at your age is normal. What you may be comparing yourself to that has you worried is hearing how often other guys do it and its less than you do or more than. Another worry could be the conflict of what your Christian church teaches on masturbating: Most likely to abstain as its evil and can lead to you wanting lots of twisted sexual perversions...and this couldn't be farther from the truth.
I'll go back to how many times a day. Not just as teens but as an adult, there will always be people with varying libido's, the natural instinctual desire for sex and sexual relief. In my first marriage, the husband had a low libido and I had a higher one so we were a mismatch and frustrated. Not so with 2nd husband who had a high libido at a young age and masturbating was crucial for his sanity until he came of age at 18 where he could have sex with whomever was willing to have it with him. ITs different for females in that they may not think upon sex all day but they do also love to masturbate. Also theres a difference to if men don't masturbate vs if women don't. Over a long period of no sex and no masturbating, the females sex drive can go to sleep but can be awakened in the future with the right match as a lover. However, a psychologist told my current husband when hubby was a younger man, to always keep up the masturbating in between female partners because after a time of no masturbating, a mans sex drive can eventually turn off and once off, unlike the females, its almost impossible to get it turned back on. the mans desire might be there in his heart and mind but his sexual organs no longer get in on the act. So if anything, I wouldn't worry about how often you masturbate as long as it doesnt interfere with your ability to do school, but the concern would be more if you didn't masturbate at all during your teens years. And then once you are older, the concern should be that you regularly masturbate to the amount that works for you, even if less than in your teen years.
Since you mentioned Christian camp, let me tell you that as an adult, wife and mother, I suffered guilt from hearing that masturbation was wrong to do. The church has their facts twisted due to fears that come about from distorted thinking. The actions of the church regarding how we dress and sexuality and nudity became more and more outrageous at time went on to the point I finally realized it was nothing more than a bunch of balony. You couldn't go swimming in a bathing suit alone but had to wear a tee shirt of some coverup even if in the water while boys got to wear trunk but didnt have to wear tops or short gowns to cover the bulge of their package like girls had to cover the bulge of their chest. On a teen trip, my daughter reported the leaders calling out the words "Ground check" which meant all teens were to drop their gaze to stare at the ground at their feet to avoid seeing something the leaders thought would sexually pervert the teens. In one case, this warning went out as they were in a park and about to walk past a nude statue. My daugher didn't obey and always searched for what they could probably be so concerned about and she found it to all be a bit crazy, things the church shouldn't be freaking out over. Instead of teaching christian boys that their sex drive is normal and how to handle it the right way and masturbate, they inadvertantly by their actions are saying that males are not cappable of exercising self restraint and refraining from having sex/intercourse with a female, or worse not a willing one but by rape or by trickery and playing mind games to force a girl to give it up. So to tell the truth, I have seen far more messed up people sexually in churches than there should be. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about what the church teaches. Ask God yourself.
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I kind of agree with adviceman that masturbating is natural at your age, however I strongly feel that your regular masturbating is more than just your age. You being an arsty person also tells me that you are have great imagination but at the same time you could be feeling like a misfit. Again I am speaking based on my experience. Usually the feeling of release from masturbating sometimes can become an escape from dealing with something which is more psychological or social.
If that is true, here are few things I would suggest:
1. Know that masturbating is not a bad thing at all. I started masturbating at the age of 10 and today I am absolutely normal person. In fact I think I am more normal and real than many people around me. So please please do not feel guilty about it
2. Trust me you are not different than any other boys who may be coming across as good in terms of studies or any other things. The matter of fact is that they are expressive and you are not. You have to learn to completely ACCEPT yourself they way you are (no exceptions) and do not try to show anything different than what you are.
3. In fact you may be more matured and understanding than many other boys around. Do not worry about what others think about you. It is only matter of time when you will realise that you were never a misfit!
4. So be expressive, don't be afraid to show who you are. Don't hesitate to put forward your point of view, even if not a single person involved in the conversation agrees with your opinion.
5. Don't be afraid talking to people. You will find many boys who think like you and you will get along very well with them. Believe me, I am telling this to you from my experience.
6. As far as masturbating, the feeling of sexual release is one of the most beautiful thing in this world. You are being to mechanical about it. Learn to enjoy the feeling and feel the changes happening in your body when you masturbate. Don't hurry into it. Don't be in hurry to reach the climax. Enjoy the process, without ANY guilt whatsoever. You are not doing a sin. When you learn the enjoy it, you won't feel the need to do it over and over again or atleast the frequency will reduce.
7. Don't judge yourself! You are absolutely normal. I can tell that you are hesitant talking to girls, unless they come and talk to you. You perhaps have a feeling that you don't deserve coz you are doing something wrong by imagining them while masturbating. The more to are open and yourself, the guilt will gradually dissapear.
8. I have gone through this before, but let me tell you that you will be fine!
My answer may sound like out of context, but I really want you to ask yourself these questions and you will get your answers ))
So relax and don't beat up yourself over it. You are normal and fine.
Feel free to send me a specific question you have about whatever I suggested and I will be more than happy to help you out ))
You are a beautiful being and not less than anyone else in this world. Believe in yourself and don't be afraid to show the world, the real YOU!!
Good luck!!
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You masturbate a bit more than most but not to the point I would consider to be a problem or abnormal. You're 14 right in the throes of puberty. Sexual tension which is the catalyst for why you need to masturbate is caused by the new hormones puberty sends into you.
You may be one of the unfortunate boys whose body is releasing those hormones in large batches, hence the need to masturbate more often than some boys. Still as long as masturbation is an all encompassing thing, which 4 to 5 times a day does not sound like it is, you are normal and should not be worried about it.
Masturbation is normal. So much so that a recent survey showed that 85% of us masturbate. In a family of 4 that means 3 of the 4 people in the house masturbate including parents. Parents general do what is called mutual masturbation during foreplay prior to sex. Yes your parents may actually still be having sex as they need release from sexual tension just as you do.
The main reason tell you not to masturbate is as you have found out it feels good. so good you want to try the real thing and that could cause problems if you get a girl pregnant. While most religions for the same reason do not condone the practice neither is a sin or mortal sin.
My advice relax continue to masturbate to relieve sexual tension. No one has ever gotten pregnant from masturbation or caught an STD. Masturbation is the safest form of sex until you are in a truly committed relationship.
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