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having an abusive mother on mothers day
Mothers day is coming up, and as a 16 year old teenager with a severely emotionally abusive mother, i am not looking forward to it. At all. Especially since things are very high tension right now in the house. I know she's going to demand me to be there and be a "good kid" but i'm incapable of being in the same room as her without experiencing extreme depression, anxiety, and resentment. How do i survive mothers day this year?
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I think you should find a way to spend a little more time out of the house on that Mother's day, either with your mom or alone. Try to go to a cafeteria for a coffee while reading a book or walking in the park to relieve your tension, after all you and your mother stressed in the same place will only hurt the two and the relationship they have built throughout life.
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There's nothing wrong with completely cutting contact with close family members when it's for your own mental health.
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I know exactly how you feel as I had the same problem with my Father. With Mother's Day practically around the corner it is hard to make any plans with friends who might be willing to help you get out of the house for the day.
So what to do? I suggest that as hard as it may be for you that you do honor your mom on Mother's Day. Get up and make her a nice breakfast then clean up the kitchen. Hopefully this will keep you busy until the library opens. Once the library is open tell mom that while you would love to spend the day with her you need to go to the library to finish some work for school.
Whether you have work for school is immaterial it is just a reason to get out of the house and hopefully one can't object to too vehemently as I'm sure from your writing she will object. Just stand your ground grab your backpack and leave.
Do go to the library once there if you have school work to do so much the better. If not find a book and a comfortable place to sit and read for a few hours.
By making breakfast for mom you have honored her on her day and that is all that is really required or expected from anyone and maybe a small gift if you can find something to buy for her.
NOTE: Emotional abuse is a form of child abuse. I would suggest you speak with a trusted teacher or your school principal about this. By law if they agree you are being abused by your mother they must notify Child Protective Services(CPS). This does not always mean you will be placed in Foster Care. It means CPS will assign a caseworker to watch over you and to see to it that mom gets help for her abusive ways and that you get help for the depression and anxiety you suffer.
Depression hurts in many ways. One way is it affects you ability to learn which is why teachers are trained to look out for depression and why they must act if you come to them. There is no reason for you to live this way as there is help all you need to do is ask. In fact at your age you could call CPS yourself if you want too.
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Dear 16 year old,
I know it can be tough to face a situation such as yours but you have to understand something. Even though your mom is emotionally abusive, she only does that because she knows you are a child of greatness. Feeling depression, anxiety and etc. are normal but just do your best to be happy. Also, if you get a chance talk to your mom about it.
- LizMay48
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