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is my mom insane?
My mom realm gets on my nerves. I am a 15 year old girl and recently I was going out with a guy. We went out for about a month but I had to break I off because he acted too weird. He was obsessed with me, would get really upset if I did not text back in five minutes, and he was jealous of my friends. At first, my mom did not approve of me being in a relationship but then when I broke things off she said things like "its your fault and you were mean to him". I am so confused I think she wants me to be unhappy, but my friends understood that I was upset and that he was creepy and not good for me. Why would my mom want me to be I an unhappy relationship and how could it be my fault? She also says my friends are weird and she acts like she wants me to have no friends and be lonely. I just want her to mind her business and leave me alone.
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THeres a saying about how we don't get to pick our parents. Parents aren't God so they come with all sorts of issues and some that can affect any children in bad ways. I know its hard to have a parent like this, more like a child in behavior.
You did the right thing breaking up with the boy. He had issues that are not good or healthy in a relationship, but then neither does your mother. Just because her body grew into adult form doesnt mean her mind did too. She could have mental issues. Is there a father you can talk to or another relative who knows her well like any siblings she may have? Talk to a dad, aunts or uncles or even grandma and let them know what you are seeing and ask if they have any clue whats going on with Mom. If its just this one time shes been negative and blaming you instead of supportive, then perhaps some recent stress has come into her life and it has distracted her mind from being rational. If its a pattern, relatives should know. Its not so much about someone wanting you unhappy. SHe may be unhappy and in a place of not being able to reach out to right people to ask for help, for counseling.
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She wants you to be miserable like her. Some of us just have mothers who don't want us to be successful or happy. They show no sensitivity when something goes wrong and we need their emotional support above anything else. Often they kick us while we're already down, as your mom has done to you in this situation. Don't listen to her. Isolate yourself from her. When you go to college go somewhere far away. Trust me there are many people in the world who will nurture and love you times a million the way she never did. Don't waste your energy or precious time on her.
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To me it sounds like you are a very smart and practical girl, someone who know what she is doing and can take decisions on her own. You must have been like this since very young age. Sometimes parents can act little indifferent and even feel let down just because you are smart enough to take your own decisions )) She perhaps wants you to ask her about every single thing you do, which I believe you don't. It's not that you do it on purpose, but your mom perhaps does not appreciate that as much. May be that is the reason why she does not like most of the things associated with you. And something like a breakup with your bf is a perfect opportunity to blame you for everything.
Ok, so I am not trying to judge your mom or anything, in fact I don't know her )) Whatever I said is just something that came to me intuitively and partially based on what you described.
I don't think you should take everything that your mom says so seriously. At the same time please don't underestimate her either. Be your own judge. You are 15 and soon you would be getting more independent in few years, until then be patient. This does not mean you need to snap at your mom, just try and understand her point of view and if it sounds absurd or irrelevant ignore it for now. That is not to say that everything she thinks and does is against you. However we all have different problems and some times people change and become nasty and weird with the experiences, stress and many other factors.
In short, keep you calm, don't judge yourself and keep rocking!
Good luck
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