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i need totally help plz
so I have a problem with a girl so lets call her Bella So it all started the day I told her we cant be friends with her anymore because of this incident where her mom is saying all badwords to my brother for no reason so I wrote something that looked like if I was threatning her so this is what I said " I don't want to hurt you in a way I could". I know I was so stupid to say that and what I ment to say was I don't want to hurt your feelings and I got all the blame so I'm restricted to talk to Bella and really she is taking my friends and making a new squad and she is stealing my memebers and I want to punch her and so now she is all boasting about her new squad members so I need advice on what should I do and don't say talk to her because I'm not allowd to not even the school nor my parents want to see me talking to her at all and now she is using everything against my will I already have enuf problems with the principal and my parents so plz help me anybody
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The things Dragonfly is saying here are VERY near and dear to me and i understand what you are currently going through ALL too well.
I actually had the same thing happen to me as a kid, but it was involving TWO GIRLS who were evil little things, and no one else could see it but a small handful of us. They set out to stage incidents between them and others to make themselves LOOK like victims. Well guess what....eventually things caught up with them and they were discovered. When they were found out they then turned on each other! im telling you there is no honor among thieves nor is there between fake, insecure, lying fools either! So try to take heart dear.
I was the one of the only kids who at the age i was had such a strong sense of self AND was willing to speak up about it. I told my mother and she promptly called the school and the others of both these girls and guess what....their MOTHERS were JUST as bad as they were! ughhh!! it was awful.
So i took my moms advice, i let my current friends (who honestly i felt betrayed by at the time) be friends with those girls and eventually they were turned on just like i was by them because two these two girls they only cared about each other and really this was their world and to them, we were just all living in it around them....get what im saying??
Now about your friends who are currently hanging out with them....Understand this because once you do, the better off youll be ok....we were ALL on our OWN life paths. You are on yours and they are on theirs and sometimes your going to cross paths with people who are bad and people who are GOOD, and its YOUR job and your job alone, to decide if you want to continue to run along side someone who is headed in the right direction in life OR go your own way and find other people who want better for themselves.
I can tell you one thing for sure, The people who want more for themselves who you have the honor to run along side in this life will encourage and HELP you to get the things YOU want in this life....the others will not. So its up to you.
Also understand that some people just have to make their own mistakes in order to learn what NOT to do. You and me and everyone else might be able to see that this girl is an evil snake but if a innocent girl comes along whos never dealt with this before, she isnt going to know WHAT to think or how to deal with it because shes never been faced with it before. That girl (or girls) have to decide for themselves weather they want to run with a crowd of people (or a person) who isnt a good person. This is called free will.
Now all you have to do is keep being you, be nice to your friends who are still hanging out with this girl, and eventually they'll see how things really are....but these people have to be able to do that for themselves. You cant make someone see things the way you do. Two people can look at the exact same thing and see it completely differently get me?
good luck, and this is a rough time but it will pass!
; )
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Once words are spoken, they can't be taken back. A person can say they didn't mean it but there's something called memory and everyone has one and so does she.
Although in your case, I dont know all the details but if parents and school principle don't want you two near each other or talking, then there's nothing you can say or do to change things with her anyways.
As for this gal stealing friends, there is no law that says a person can't have more than one friend nor laws that prevent people from befriending who they want.
The only law may be one from the principal if this girl herself is the only real trouble maker and you were totally innocent, then time will show that and things will happen where the principal restricts her from hanging out and influencing your friends in a bad way. If she becomes too much of a discipline issue in school, she could get kicked out. When we are young, we are impressionable so depending on your ages, most likely middle or high school, kids can easily be fooled by someone befriending them simply cus at those ages, all we want is to be accepted and liked by all and we aren't able to or choose to overlook the warning signs of reasons why any person isnt a good fit for a friend. If anyone was truly a good friend of yours, then no one would be able to steal them away just by saying things about you. A true friend would investigate to see if those things said are true or not, or simply wouldn't believe them because they know you well enough.
It could be that she simply is doing this stealin of friends to get at you without being seen near you. If all your friends hang with her, then theres no way you can hang with your friends due to them being around her and she being the one you need to avoid.
I know its a crummy deal but don't let her have the satisfaction of seeing it bother you or she'll get what she wanted. Don't even try to attempt seeing your old friends she's stolen, go out and make new ones. If theres no one you think you might like, you could surprise yourself. Some times, best friends who are truly loyal to you come in all shapes, sizes and looks. Perhaps the shy quiet wallflower of a girl who is always alone would welcome friendship and be a very good friend, the goth girl, the nerd type, the overweight girl, the girl without fashion sense, etc.
In the real adult world, you are going to be working someday with All these different types of people and while not becoming best of friends, you'll need to at least know how to get along and care about your co workers for work to go smoothly and help each other with your work loads for the benefit of the company by the end of the day. I am guessing that if trouble girl sees you going out and making new friends, she'll likely lose interest in pretending to be best of friends with your original friends. Or they may soon see thru her on their own and see that she is only using them to get at you. So when your old friends come back to you, take them back with a smile and a hug and let them know how glad you are to have them back. Don't blame them or b ring up their being so easily swayed by her. Lots of us all did the same at that age, its a common thing due to our brains not done growing and coming into full maturity until our mid 20s. Just forgive them inside yourself, You dont have to nor should you tell them you forgive them as that could cause problems. Before you speak in the future, count to 20, calm down, stop defending yourself cus those who matter will know the difference and don't say things you may regret later. this will likely all blow over in time. I know its no fun especially at a time when developing friendships is so crucial to the age, but theres nothing much else you can do except adjust your thoughts, actions, what you say and dont say and take the initiative to make some new friends while waiting for old ones to return and end up with even more friends in the end.
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