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Rebuilding trust
So I have to give a little bit if background. I went on a birth control, shortly after I was feeling really sad and didn't want to be around anyone. Eventually I just found myself crying randomly everyday and just inhappy with everything and I was insecure. Of course this led to problems in my relationship, I was insecure and no longer trusted my boyfriend of 3 years( he did absolutely nothing different from before). Now I am off the birth control and am getting much better but I still have really big problems with trusting him and I would just like to hear some suggestions on how to rebuild that trust and maybe get back to the way we were before. I am a female and i am 20
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It very well may be that certain hormones in your birth control are what effected you. I don't know how long you've been off it but it won't instantly be out of your system the next day. So I would ask these questions of your Dr. This is an example of the type of questions you can ask your Dr. office over the phone and get some answers to, as to how much longer to wait before coming in, or whether there is any known side effects of lingering insecurity feelings and such.
Since he has not broken trust by doing anything wrong, then its not a matter of anything that time will heal with seeing a consistantcy of being trustworthy on his part. Sounds like it is all just something going on in your mind. Perhaps you were close to being there with the insecurties anyhow and the hormones just made you get there sooner. My suggestion is to go for counseling. Since these feelings are being generated solely by your mind and not your circumstances, it becomes a matter of learning how to not have distorted thoughts. thoughts or another word for it 'cognitions' if distorted can cause a myriad of problems for people and to be honest, all people battle with distorted or negative thinking at times in their life but for some it is very briefly, we discount it and move on with life. Others however have the thoughts more frequently and tend to focus too heavily on it so it begins to affect the quality of their life in negative ways. It takes a professional trained in CBT Cognitive behavioral therapy to show you how its happening and how its affecting you and help you discover, what actually started it as it may be something you wouldn't think of as related to the issue but often the human mind works in strange ways. So check your area for psychologists who work with CBT in their practice.
If you have trouble locating someone, you may want to check this website and ask for referalls for your area.
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In terms of the birth control I would definitely speak to a doctor. When a doctor puts you on birth control its trial and error. Not all women take the same birth control because it affects them differently. In terms of the situation with your boyfriend I'm not sure I understand why there is a trust issue. Did he do something to trigger you? Or did he lie about something? I think the best thing is to talk it out with him. Tell him what's troubling you and how you feel.
Peace & Love,
Advice Mistress
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I have never heard of birth control medication causing depression though I'm sure it is possible. What you write about how you felt sound very much like you were suffering from some type of depression. As I am not a doctor and since your were not screened for depression we will just have to assume that was the problem.
Should I be correct in my assumption the best way I know to regain what you've lost would be through professional counseling with a qualified therapist such as a psychologist. For in order to regain what you lost you must first identify why you lost it and what triggered the loss.
People who suffer from depression also suffer with problems of perception. I know this as I suffered from depression for many years before seeking treatment. Perception is reality regardless if it is true or false. The problem with depression is the reality of what we see or hear is twisted by the depression making it true to us but false in reality. A somewhat over simplification. A therapist can explain it far better than I can.
I do not believe the medication was the cause more so the catalyst for depression that was just needing a trigger. What I suggest is you make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical. You will need one anyway before treatment for depression to rule out any organic cause. Ask your family doctor to screen you for depression. The screening is simply answering a bunch of questions the doctor can use to make a diagnoses. Make sure to tell the doctor about when you were on birth control and how you felt while on birth control. Then follow your doctor's advice should talk therapy be recommended.
At 20 you should still be on your parent's health insurance or have your own, Either way your health insurance will cover most if not all of the costs.
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