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Why I am allowing myself to be so abused
this guy hustled me for $7,500 and hid out of state for a year when I finally got him to court. I thought I was going to die during that whole year, I thought I was having a breakdown. I finally served him out of state with a law suit and I didn't think he was going to show for court but he did. We went thru a mediator and I agreed to settle for $5,000 with him paying me $200 a month. Since he has gone back to his state I have allowed him to call me and I could kill myself for even speaking to him because I really despise him. He has the nerve to talk about his girlfriend. We were never really a couple though. He wanted me to think we were at the time. I would never ever want him in my life but yet I don't want to feel rejected. Why have I allowed myself to be any part of him. I am sick over this and I have been so disgusted with myself!!!! I hate myself for this. Thanks.
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While I am no psychologist, which might be a good idea for you to consult with one for therapy. My thoughts are that you may feel to totally disassociate from this man may somehow give him cause to stop paying you the money you have been awarded. At $200 a month this would mean you feel you have to associate with him for 2 years and one month. Of course this is my 1 year of High school psychology talking though it would be totally understandable if you felt this way as $5,000 is a lot of money to lose.
Fact is the resolution you came to, be it through mediation or by order of the a Judge, is binding on him. He is bound by law now to pay you $5,000 in increments of $200 monthly. Should he stop doing so you can take the order you have back to court and ask for a writ of attachment. It might even be possible since he would be in violation of the order to recoup the remaining $2,500 though for that you would probably need a lawyer to go to court with you.
Should I be correct and deep down your feeling that disassociation will cause you monetary harm. Try to not feel that way because it cannot happen. You have recourse should for any reason he ask to skip a payment or stop paying you for any amount of time or even send less than agreed to.
Even living in another state most states will honor orders from courts in other states. If he stops paying an order of attachment can be issued. If he is not working the Sheriff in his County or Parish can be asked to take and auction anything of value to satisfy the debt to you.
Now just my telling you this is not going to make you feel much better as your reasons for feeling this way are most likely are more deep seated than this issue. I earnestly suggest you consult with a psychologist to find out why you feel this way so in the future should a reason such as this come about again you will handle it better.
You would be surprise how talk therapy can help you. I have had talk therapy after being in a life changing auto accident. I never expected it to help for I thought it was just a bunch of crap, pardon my French here. I mean if your sick the doctor gives you medicine, if your bleeding you stitch it or put a bandaid on it. Talk therapy made no sense.
I was fortunate after going through two therapists to find one I really connected with, someone I was comfortable talking with and things changed. Working with her she helped me see things differently and helped me accept my new way of life. Yes I am still disabled though to look at me you cannot tell. But I have found other things to do with myself such as this website to make life meaningful. Finding out the why is the key and if you find out the why of how you feel it will make the difference.
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I think you ned counseling. This man basically pimped you out and you still feel like theres something in him thats WORTH feeling rejected over?? no hunny.
It sounds like your having some major self esteem issues, maybe some abandonment ones as well im not a doctor here but anyone who does you wrong like that NEEDS to go, and SURE you might always miss the person you thought he was but it wasnt real. none of it ya know....
Theres no reason to feel disgusted with yourself, you trusted this man and he betrayed that trust. Period. HE did YOU wrong and you did nothing to deserve any of that, so dont beat yourself up over feeling rejected by someone anyone would more vulgar words for then i can say here.
Its not your fault you trusted him, and you got tricked. It HAPPENS ok.
Try to get yourself some counseling if you can to get through this.
good luck.
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