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It seems like he cant stand anything i do.
It was great at first but now any little thing i do he cant stand it or it annoys him. He acts distant till it is time to lay down and even after that he is right back to the distant act. I caught him in a lie the other day by telling me he didnt go to his friends house when he did.He said he didnt want to tell me cause i would be mad. Im so confused because this is never what i expected from him.
Im 21 felmale and he is 27 male
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Great at first? How long ago was that? You're 21 so unless you dated this guy through H.S. its only been a handful of years at the very most and possibly lots less. For example, any problems in a relationship will start to show up in the first year together. Its only about a one of two of everythig is fine and honeymoon type of life before things go sour if they're gonna go that way.
If you are married, same thing, cus it happened to me. In my case the husband was someone who could not be pleased no matter what I did, even if I followed his ideas and plans to the Nth degree thinking that finally he'd be happy cus it was his idea and then shocked to have him call me stupid idiot and that this was wrong and not a fix to the situation. Sometimes theres a person you just cant please no matter what you do. It likely means that even tho there might be a few things you like about him, that you both are truly not right for each other. Two perfectly nice people put together who are not meant to be together, will not get along and have a wonderful blending between each other as the relationship progresses. Its like trying to mix oil and water. It can't be done. One can make it look like its blended like when shaking the ingredients of an oil vinegar and water and flavorings salad dressing. But left long enough, the water and oil separate again. If you have been together a long time then perhaps it may be a good idea to salvage the relationship with couples counseling. Otherwise, if he wont go or you wont, then there's no reason to stay in a relationship where the two are not relating. Relating is interacting, communication between both, and good emotions present for each other such as caring, empathy,being supportive, etc...much like a best friend would treat you. In a couple relationship, there should still be the aspect of being each others best friend in the relating part with the added bonus of the romance and sexual compatibility of wanting to please ones partner fully and loving unconditionally. Both the friendship and the romantic/sexual chemistry are needed to be in sync in a relationship. If too vastly different, or one is missing, a relationship will not work and not be a relationship but 2 individuals trying to force it to look like one when in fact it isn't one and never will be unless something changes if anything can be changed. One sho8ld never have to change their character and personality to be perfect for another,other than changing a bad habit. SO if its not working, a therapist may be able to tell whats off and if its something that can be fixed or not. Or perhaps you already know what's wrong and know that it is not going to get better as I did in my marriage and I left him.
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ok first, when you say "he" i just wanna make sure your talking about your boyfriend right?? not a son or family member.
Since hes a boyfriend, my next question is, why does he think you'd get mad at him for wanting to go to a friends house? does he think your controlling or clingy? if so thats definitely something that needs to be worked on because that cause sabotage a relationship in NO time. Distrust or other things like this can result in things happening that your describing here, it will then spread to other areas of the relationship and pretty soon your fighting over every little thing.
If this is the case, you need to find out if hes maybe going through some things right now of his own and then ask what you can do to help, encourage him to do things that make him happy, and if it makes him feel better to go spend some time with just his buddies, you need to let him do that. Girls need their friends just like guys do, the bond may be different and in a way us women dont always understand but the intention and the meaning really makes a difference.
If this has never happened before and its totally out of nowhere then you need to try to gently get him to talk about it. Be there for him, stay calm no matter what he says, dont get overly emotional, and hear him out. Thats the BEST thing you can do for someone who might be going through something really deep. They dont need someone who is going to think about how this all effects THEM.
so just try to get him to talk about it, show you care, and just ask him in a calm manner, "hey whats REALLY going on with you? are you ok?" "youve been distant lately, is something wrong?" and just dont give up. Be persistant that you KNOW something is off and he will give in and tell you in one way or another.
good luck
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You have two options here, changing who you are for someone else isn't a viable option. You can either have a straight forward serious conversation with him to figure out what is wrong or you may need to prepare to face the possibility that this relationship has run its course. The truth of the matter is that sometimes people just get tired of each other and some people fake interest in the first place even if they don't realize it. Furthermore sometimes people's true colors are hidden for a while and when they reveal themselves it turns out things aren't as they seem.
Ps. If he thinks you'd be mad he went to his friends house it probably means his sense of independence that everyone needs is compromised and you may need to pull back a little and give him space. Being in a relationship doesn't mean taking over someone's life it just means being a part of it.
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