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Questioning boyfriend
25 female. My boyfriend and his ex share a pet together. Last night I was over at his house and the dog was over because his ex had to do something. She called him when she was going to come pick him up and he answered the phone said "hi" and then walked out of the room. This made me weary becuase why would he have to walk out of the room to talk with her? When he came back in I asked where he went and he said "Away from Cooper (their dogs) ears like joking around. He then said Cooper your mom is weird. I just left it at that.
I didn't want to start questioning why he walked out of the room to speak with her. But it makes me wonder now. Why couldn't he just speak with her when I was right there?
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Good! He thinks the ex is weird by telling the dog his mom is weird. This means he found out enough about her by being in relationship with her to discover that what he sees on the outside may look okay but who she is on the inside is something he doesn't want to hang around. I know you are very troubled by this whole situation. Either you learn to cut him some slack and learn to trust him in this relationship or you may well end up being number two of ex's that he mentions to the next girl as being too weird. Guys don't like drama and shy away from that.
And the answer to why he couldnt just speak with her when you were right there, is that at this point, he's still willing to work with you and see if over time you both can gain trust so knowing how badly this upsets you, he walked out of the room hoping if you didn't have to listen to his half of the convo, that you'd feel better. He tried. Obviously it didn't work. By what you have shared, I feel the only thing I can say which you may not like to hear is that the problem lies more with you than him. You take too much personally and doubt your ability to hold his interest and love. Gain self confidence, and this could be a very promising relationship.
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I disagree with Rahzie.
My ex and I share ownership of a cat we both love. Does this mean that I ever spend time with my ex? No, he primarily takes care of the cat and the deal is that someday when I can take him (the cat) back that I will. Do I still talk to my ex? I do but not about anything worth hiding from my current boyfriend.
It is weird that your boyfriend walks out of the room when talking to his ex? Yes, it is and he should tell you why he does this. I would be worried too because if it's just about the dog then he shouldn't need the privacy. It is after all, just a dog. How much can be said about the care of a dog anyways?
I really think something more is going on here. You really need to sit him down and talk about it.
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Maybe you are just not equipped to be in a relationship with anyone right now.
Seriously. You need to consider if you are in a place emotionally and mentally, where you should be dating any one.
Get your butt into therapy and work through this shit. Very few guys worth having, will stick around, if you don't get your distrust and fear under some control. This ex is in his life until the dog dies. He will say things to her, that you will never know about! They will have conversations, and even some degree of friendship. If you can't find some peace with that, then this isn't the right situation for you to be in, and you should break it off.
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