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I'm scared for us
I'm 14 years old and I'm in love. The guy is older but we plan on getting married and having all of six kids together. I want to wait until we get married to have sex but he says he's not gonna wait that long. I know he's the one for me and I know that we will work out because I just know, but, the thought of me being a virgin and him not being one just kills me. He's very honest and he told me that he isn't a virgin but I'm scared of being judged. What if I don't do it right? What if he ends up having sex with someone else because I wont give it to him? I'm terrified and I just cant get hurt again right now. I'm sorry this was so long but thank you for your time.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This is an exciting time in your life. You are in love so wonderful!
If your rule is to wait until marriage and he does not support that rule that's a pretty big deal.
If you know that he is the one you shouldn't have all of these things to worry about.
If you do marry him one day and he loves you he will not judge you by how you are in bed. That's the difference between lust and love so you don't have anything to worry about.
Lastly seems like you are very afraid of being hurt again. I know it's easier to say this but don't think about that too much. Have fun! live in the moment. If you get hurt so be it. You will move on and find someone who will love you for you! and that is what you ultimately want from your boyfriend or husband..
Good luck and remember if he loves you he will wait!!!
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First: You are way to young to be having sex your body is just not ready.
Second: And probably firs as well. Any guy that says you must have sex with him to prove your love or you must have sex with him or he will find someone who will have sex with him. THAT GUY DOES NOT LOVE YOU, HE LUSTS FOR YOU.
You don't say how much older he is but young men in their teens to early twenties confuse lust and love. TO them lust and love are synonymous which is just not true.
Third: At 14 years of age this is very much a first love and yes it feels real. The chances of a high school romance actually end up marrying are about 5%. It may last while you two are still in school together. Once he goes off to college he will find other girls and you will find other boys. It just happens in 95% of the time.
If as I feel he is lusting for you and is demanding sex to show your love this is not a reason to give him your virginity or to have sex with him at all. In fact it is a reason to dump him and find someone who will respect you and wait with you until you are older and properly mature enough to have sex. At 14 regardless of how mature you feel you just do not possess the maturity needed to have a sex life.
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If your boyfriend wants to have sex before marriage, and you don't, that is a serious mismatch of values. It's not something to just hope solves itself. It's the kind of thing you must consider ending the relationship over.
Relationship don't work out well when two people have fundamentally different beliefs and values when it comes to sex.
If he has sex with someone else while in a relationship with you, that makes him a cheater. That means he betrayed you. If he can't live without sex, then he has a responsibility to break up with you, not cheat on you.
It's sounds harsh, and of course it feels complicated, but it's actually rather simple. There are lots of people who share your values, if this guy doesn't, then he isn't the right guy.
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