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Yikes !
20s/ F
I have had boyfriend for quite sometime now. 2 and a half years. Knew him for 7 years prior to that and he is just pushes me to always do better and he's absolutely my best friend. For the past 2 years we would argue about petty things and about a month ago I got fed up and completely broke things off. In that time I met someone else. late night talks in his car, drinks, hanging out with his friends. well one night one thing led to another and we slept together. couple weeks go by and we spotted talking completely. Saw him again not to long and he acted as if we never stopped talking and he was teasing me and he kept winking at me which is our little inside joke... Now, I decided to give my boyfriend a second chance and just start over with a clean slate. Literally the best thing I have ever done. Things are better than they were before. We see each other every other day, he comes over my house, we go out to do different things its just wonderful. however, I did start having feelings for the other guy at the time and there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't cross my mind or that I want to check up on him and see how he is doing but I always stop myself. What should I do?
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First we need to look at the differences between men and women regarding how they feel about sex and how it affects them.
Women want to experience a certain emotional closeness before having sex with a guy, while men view sex as a route to this closeness. Woman regard sex as both an accompaniment to a strong relationship and a method of securing that relationship in the first place. For men, its a physical act that can lead to an emotional bond but they often seek sex just for the sake of sex. For women, the emotional bond is tied into the physical act so they have difficulty seeing the two separately and thus have the hard time with still feeling love for a guy who mistreats them or broke up with them.
Based on what I just shared, it is common for you as a woman to feel some kind of emotional feelings for guy number 2.
What you need to ask yourself is what you are looking for in a guy as far as a long term relationships. What does that kind of guy acts like, how he treats you, what you have in common, that which one are both of you upholding and supporting the wants, needs, goals of the other, and once you've figured it out in great detail, then use that list as the measuring device to measure up each guy to see which comes closest to being Mr. Right for you and also you want to be The One for him. So if one is not ready for commitment, just casual dating and being social and wants sex, then he's not likely the best candidate for you to focus your attention and energy on. If you have one who cant stand not having you in his life and you feel the same, then thats the one where youre in love. Just loving a couple things about someones character is not enough to sustain a healthy long term relationship which I assume you want. If you decide neither one fits the bill, then break up with both and keep looking.
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