|
I need to forget about my ex husband how can I forget about him?
I need to forget about my ex husband how can I forget about him
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
burn all his stuff he gave to you , delete photos and messages and his number out of ur social sites , and phone, dont answer his calls . move on , get a new man
]
So you are hoping for a way to totally block a person from your memory? Thats not how it works. Our memories are always going to be there tucked away in our minds, coming to the forefront at times whether memories of childhood, from school, work, a spouse, etc... Only with amnesia is a person not able to remember but then its not usually selective like forget the things you want, its a 'forget all' situation.
What I think you are really looking for is a way to be rid of any negative/hurtful emotions connected to him. I do understand fully having negative emotions attached to an ex as I was verbally abused. My whole marriage was nothing but hurtful situations, demeaning, belittling, etc. I also later thought I found the guy for me after the ex and he went back to his wife whom he was supposedly divorcing. So I know its possible to get past having any hurtful emotions arise any time I think of him for whatever reason, even rejection. Its not easy to do on ones own. If as Adviceman said due to kids, he's in your life to some extent forever, which is my case even tho kids are grown now,then its especially important to get counseling and seek healing for your emotions. If some sort of abusive behavior was involved, then like me, you would be a victim of trauma and I needed healing to get past my coping mechanisms which are counter productive to new relationships and life in general. I can say that for me, changing my perspective as to why God would allow that to happen to me and being able to forgive him in my heart was the biggest thing to my emotions no longer being involved. No, I dont love him or even like him as a friend, but I also dont hate or feel hurt and can tell others my story without pain. I use my story so often only to help others, not because it troubles me still.
While my method may not work for you due to your set of beliefs, it worked for me and is based on believing there is a God but he gave each of us a free will to do whatever we wish, whether good or not so good. His stepping in to stop my ex from abusing me would have meant, taking that mans free will away and forcing him without choice to treat me nicely. Thats not how the God I know operates. Tho I believe in Jesus, I also believe their is reincarnation and have read much on it. God keeps creating new souls as the population of the world has increased. So there are the return souls that are much more mature, still having things to learn or are here in service for other younger souls. If you've heard the expression that "She/He is an old soul", it would mean one whose incarnated many times, and to me thats like moving up grade levels in school of knowledge and understanding. So at any point in time, there are souls who are kind and caring and also those capable of hurting, killing, cheating, etc. I had something to learn as a soul that I wouldn't have if not for the added 'pressure' of how I was treated. So like in the bible stories, someone has to play the 'Judas' role, whose actions were negative but in the scheme of things, actually worked out okay for what Gods bigger plans and goals. I had to learn to love myself enough to remove myself from such a situation, meaning to divorce when the church taught me to trust God to heal my marriage. Finally God got through to me and explained why that wasn't going to happen in my case since the ex wasn't a willing soul to change right then. Still thought he was right and nothing wrong with him. When I changed my viewpoint from all the years of hurt done to me, to a view of his being a key instigator in my souls ability to learn something that I wouldnt have without him, I become thankful that he had been in my life and that changed my emotions connected to him. No, it wasn't a fun way to learn what I needed to learn, it was very painful and stressful with negative impacts to my bodys health during those times. But I for one, do want to daily become a better person than i was the day before, so he was a needed tool there. And so I was able to forgive the hurts and pains. Most can't do this on their own and need a counselor to help them through. I wish the same for you dear. If you want to talk more about this, just write to me.
]
This is not a question we can easily answer for you. For one thing there is not enough information to give you a good answer. What is missing is;
1. Who asked for the divorce?
2. What was the reason for the Divorce?
3. Are there children of the marriage
a. Who is custodial parent?
b. What is the visitation schedule?
c. Is it supervised by the courts?
It is hard to forget about someone if he will remain in your life to any degree.
Even if I had the answers to these questions. I believe I would recommend counseling. Working with a good therapist is the best way I know to put a bad experience behind you. In therapy you have the opportunity to vocalize your feelings to someone who must keep them secret. This helps in the healing process for you. Not only that but the therapist will have ideas to help you forget or at least put him behind you.
Check with your employer. If they have an EAP program, most do if they supply health insurance. Contact the EAP program and ask to be put in touch with a psychologist for help with a recent divorce. They will give you a name or names of therapists in your area. Generally the first few appointments are paid for by the program. If you need more therapy then the program pays for you health insurance may pay for or compensate you for your share of the visits.
]
More Questions: |