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My brother's roommate
I'm a 26 year old woman who has been single for a long while, not for lack of suitors, but I have high standards. My most successful relationship has been with a man who was 5 years my senior, but that was 5 years ago. I am currently interested in my younger brother's college roommate. He is smart, funny, motivated and attractive. Unfortunately, he is 20 years old. (Not that being my brother's roommate is helping matters...) I have reason to believe that the feeling may be mutual. Is it worth it to pursue this? Am I being silly?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Smart, funny, motivated & attractive? And such praise from a woman who has little problem attracting admirers and admits she sets high standards? You're interested and have good reason to assume it's mutual? What are you waiting for? Give it a try. Nobody comes with a guarantee. I mean, was the successful relationship successful just because he was older? Don't let a minor age gap put you off. If it doesn't work, then you'll have dated a younger guy for a while. If it works, then you'll have a partner/husband slightly younger than yourself. To me the positives outweigh the negatives, and the negatives appear perceived, not concrete or quantifiable at all. It seems as though you're asking permission or approval. Like is it OK to date a guy younger than me, and who knows my brother? He seems to have passed your test on looks, intelligence and motivation. And he makes you laugh and smile. As for 'will it work?' I guess we'd all like to know that in advance, wouldn't we? Stop over-thinking it and give it a try. It's the only way you'll ever find out. I'd have a feeling that he'll have some doubts about approaching a woman a little older. Can I amuse and entertain a woman who has seen a little bit more of life than I have? Will she find me a little boring before long? Will she seriously entertain the idea of me as a potential partner? Us guys have insecurities too. So I'd suggest you be a bit proactive. I don't mean predatory here, you don't want to go blatantly chasing him. More a case of letting him know you are quite willing to be chased, and even caught!! I'm sure you know what I mean. Good luck.
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If you mean, is it silly to have feelings for some one younger than you, the answer is No. What should be of more concern is whether a male is mature and in the same age bracket as far as a meeting of the minds. Younger persons can be much older in how they act in life and handle life while older people can still be naive and immature, or on the positive side, young at heart.
What matters most is how a man treats you. Is there love, respect, caring about the things you care about as far as supporting what you have a passion for, being trust worthy and so on.
You won't really know unless you ask. I am sure you might feel awkward coming out and asking someone younger, but I wouldn't treat it any different than you approaching a 26 yr old to ask him out. He is of legal age, an adult, so go for it.
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Yes you are being silly. Today age is but a number to mark how many years you are here on earth. Today there is no real thought given if the woman is older than the man and a five year difference is nothing. To be considered a cougar there would have to be a much greater age difference.
My mother in-law was five years older that my father in-law. Now back then that was a big deal. Today some of your close friends may tease you a bit though it would be all in fun and not meant to hurt you.
My advice is; nothing ventured nothing gained. You may be looking at you life's soul mate. As for being your brother's roommate; I feel certain you will be able to handle any static you might get from him. After all you've been doing so for a long time.
By the way I'm old enough to be your grandfather and if is something that does not bother someone my age it should not bother anyone your age. Sh again you would be silly not to pursue this and see where it leads.
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