|
Is she playing hard to get???
I'm in a long distant relationship. I met a girl who is also in a long distant relationship. We were honest with each other about our relationship status. I thought she was ready for us to be friends with benefit until she won't let me have sex with her the day she slept in my place, sleeping on the sofa in the lounge and insisting I go sleep in the bedroom. I cut things off of her. She keeps texting asking why I cut off. I told her I find her attractive and want us to be friends with benefit. She says she doesnt want that. And that she doenst find me attractive. I keep cutting her off but she keeps texting me. Came around once, keeps feeling at home, eats my food, even once asked me to buy her groceries. I feel like she's just a gold digger. I cut off again but she keeps asking why I am avoiding her. Is she playing hard to get? Or is she really a gold digger hoping I will keep tolerating her with the hope that I will eventually get some? I am male, working class. She's a student.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think she is a gold digger.
After all, diamonds are a sow's best friend.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
]
Dude. She just doesn't want to have sex with you.
She's in a long distance relationship with someone else, and so are you. She clearly likes talking to you, but doesn't want to fuck you. She's not 'playing hard to get'. She's been total honest and direct with you: She doesn't want to have sex. She has said those words, and her actions back it up entirely.
There is basically no way for a woman to be more respectful and clear with you, then to straight up tell you she isn't going to fuck you, and then make sure that the arrangements are not at all confusing for you, and that there will be zero opportunity for fucking.
Don't be an idiot. If you don't want to be her friend anymore, then stand up for yourself and don't be her friend anymore, but don't start insulting her and calling her a gold-digger. It's not her fault you keep thinking with your dick instead of listening to the perfectly reasonable things she is saying. She's a perfectly normal human being who doesn't want to fuck you.
If her only value to you is as someone you maybe one day get to stick your dick into, then end the friendship. She'll be better of without you.
]
Playing hard to get? I dont think so. She told you where she stands, you told her what you want. Neither of you are wrong in wanting what you want. So when two people find themselves wanting something totally different out of dating, out of a relationship with the opposite sex, then there is no reason to remain in touch. Learn from it and move on. She also says she doesnt find you attractive. You may be plenty attractive to the right girls, but it actually may be that she didnt know how to put it into words correctly...that she actually doesnt feel any sexual desires and chemistry with you. A person doesnt have to engage in sex to discover that. She may well have told the truth that she really isn't sexually attracted to you but said it wrong by saying you aren't attractive.
Why she tries to keep contact with you when you are not looking for platonic female friends is beyond me. She may have emotional or mental issues so you may just have to spell it out clearly for her. Let her know that you are not currently in a spot where you are ready to be monogamous with one girl, you're not ready to fall in love and settle down with one girl and that you are only interested right now in the sexual experience with girls and have no room or time to spare to just be friends with a gal who doesnt want to be sexual with you without any strings attached. You let her know this means you will no longer be keeping in touch with her. You're sorry for wasting her time and saying or doing anything originally that had her thinking you were anything different than what you are but you are going to remain true to yourself and not change just to please her. Tell her you hope she finds what shes looking for in a guy but that it is not you. After your speech, if she continues to text or call, stop answering.
I find it odd that shes always asking for money or eating your food. She may be struggling financially but thats no reason to expect you to take care of her in those ways. Even someone who was just a 'friend with benefits' shouldn't be used that way. Now if two people truly love each other and want to be solely with each other, it makes sense that the man wants to provide for his sweetheart, its a natural instinct in men for the female his heart claims as his own. But in your case, she may just be looking to take advantage of any person who will give her the time of day, preying on those who tend to be naturally kind and caring and hate to hurt anyone, in other words, taking advantage of them.
To me, a gold digger is the female who will sell her charms to get a sugar daddy or a man who really is pretty rich in todays economy and that man decides he likes her being in his life enough that he will reciprocate by providing a lush comfy life for her, anything she wants, a new car, diamond jewelry, etc... Unless you've got the 'gold' sir, she's only looking to take advantage of a kind soul hoping they'll take care of a moocher, ie a person who basically begs for anything they need but has nothing to give you in return, or that you want.
As a student, she may be continuously tight on funds but to make oneself at home and feel free to help themselves to anothers food cus they're hungry is not the right way to go about it. You are not the local social services. You could take the time to point her in the direction of talking to school counselors to get ideas of where she can go for free help or perhaps she should be asking her own family. If not working and her schedule allows, she could work part time or cut the amount of classes and work part time to have the extra cash she needs to take care of herself.
Just a thought for you...if you were to find a gal who does want to be your sex partner with no strings attached, would that make you willing to give her a place to live, feed her and pay some of her bills in exchange for the sex and companionship? Its kinda like a business deal, or in the days before money, people traded what they had for what they needed. Are you okay with that kind of arrangement? If not, you need to also be clear with any willing ladies, that they would be friends that come visit you at times, but you each maintain and keep your own separate living quarters, and finances, and lives other than the dates to spend together for friendship and sex. That there will be no living together thing.
]
More Questions: |