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Why won't he text me after great date?
Why won t he text me?
I met this guy about a month ago at work, when I first started my job. We began hanging out outside of work and I thought it went really well. This has been going on for about a week. There was one point we hung out FOUR days in a row. Not pushed by me... It just happened. He would text me all day, even at work, sending me sweet texts. We went on our first official date Friday. He planned everything. We went to a really nice restaurant and held hands at dinner. Went back to his house and cuddled and watched a movie and told me how pretty I was. Toward the end of the night he started acting weird. I tried to come on to him, and he just gave me a few kisses then I left. He's been MIA since. I gave in and texted him first Saturday and he seemed so disinterested. I didn't want to appear desperate so if he didn't reply, I didn't text him. It's now Sunday and I haven't heard from him. I'm just confused how he could act so interested and then drop off after a seemingly great date. And we have sooo much in common, so I'm confused. Maybe it's because we work together? Should I reach out to him and ask what's up?
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Perhaps he received bad news. Maybe he began to feel guilty because he's a player and he knows he'll only hurt you, but he really likes you, so he doesn't want to. Just give him a little time and maybe he'll come around.
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Im going to back Dragonfly up here, there could be a whole LIST of reasons why hes not answering. But i think the most important part is to remember that if you were nothing but nice, and you KNOW for sure that you didnt do anything wrong then it couldnt possibly be you.
Consider that maybe someone close to him passed away or something happened and hes just not in a place right now to answer you back so make sure you dont harass him.
call from a different number and see if he answers it. do not leave a message if he doesnt and make sure no one from that number tells him that that was you calling.
See if he answers, then tell him that your phone is charging and your calling on your friends phone but that since you hadnt heard from him that you were genuinely concerned for his well being and wanted to just make sure he was ok. theres nothing wrong with that is there??
You dont necessarily need to be texting every single day in order to know that he still likes you he could just be really busy with other things, so make sure that when you do hear from him that you dont let any feelings from him not getting bad to you boil to the surface during the call.
worst case scenario hes just not as into you as he thought he would be at the start of the date and freaked a little because he wasnt prepared to go to that level with you. so all you can really do is give him some space (if you think thats what it was) and wait until you see him in person again and just be nice. Try NOT to bring up what happened and keep things light.
nothing is worse then a girl obsessing over something like this the WHOLE time and then knowing that they'll have to see you again. so if you pretend like it didnt happen that MAY help for a while to let him ease back into being comfortable enough to talk to you later.
but first i would try acting concerned for his welling being since you havent heard from him.
good luck. ; )
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Theres no way to know why he was first pursuing you and now wont make contact. You did say he acted different towards the end of your official date.
You noticed him start acting weird after you came on to him?
Possibilities depend on whether he is straight, bi or other.
If he is straight but a virgin (you didnt mention ages) he may be too embarrassed to venture in that direction, panics, and doesnt make a move other than a chaste kiss. To discover if this is the issue, you need to get him to open up and really share whats up and then reassure him that it doesnt matter.
If he is bi sexual, perhaps he fears that telling you he like males too, or has a male lover is going to scare you off and so out of fear, he keeps delaying saying anything. the more time that goes by, the more he talks himself out of contacting you and spilling the truth.
Perhaps he is Asexual and has a need for the emotional closeness but not the sexual one. Perhaps he talked himself into believing he could do both but found it scared him.
Men are most concerned first about anything related to sex regarding them and second, their career, vocation, how they earn a living and how much they earn.
He just might fear for the future, the point at which (since you both are doing great together) that sex comes into the picture and he fears he is too small. Many average size guys all believe they are too small. (Yep, I heard the same from my 2nd husband and he's perfect for me.)
How much they earn or what they do worries them. They may believe a girl won't be interested in him if the only work he does is general labor or maybe he's a custodian/janitor, or a trash collector or some other such job.
Give him a few more days and if no response from him instead of a text in which he can hide a lot more easily in his response, try a phone call instead. Let him know you were enjoying his company and it seemed he was enjoying yours. You want to discuss something you sensed, call it womens intuition. It may be nothing but you feel him acting differently toward the end of your date and you don't sense the same kind of enthusiasm and interest in you since then. You're wondering if he is distracted by something stressful in his life at work or elsewhere that has nothing to do with you.
He can tell you here if there is some stress or theres nothing.
Reassure him that because you are seriously looking for a guy to date, you don't want to keep hanging around waiting for him if he has changed his mind. You are asking him to be open and share because you'd rather hear that than wait around always wondering. You can mention too that you won't pry but if there are personal reasons why he is uncomfortable or nervous about contineuing the relationship and taking it to the next step, then you are asking for the kindness of being level with you and letting you know what his concerns are. LEt him know you are openminded and understanding or whatever good characteristics you have that would sound reassuring, and wait to see what he says. If he will not offer anything in explanation, then tell him that a relationship can't be successful without good communication. In the beginning you understand there isn't trust built up yet, but it has to start somewhere. If he feels he can't trust to share with you or communicate, then perhaps a relationship with him won't work and you will look elsewhere to date.
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