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I feel that my friend feels like she has to be my friend?
People just don't seem to listen to me, I feel that my friend feels like she has to be my friend, I do try with people, but I just don't connect, I feel that I bore them... If you ask anyone they would say I'm lovely, and If they want advice or if they are having a bad time, they would come to me. But when it comes to having a laugh, it feels so fake. Friends feel like the world to me, but I seems to be a one way relationship, I'm tired of being the doormat, but it seems people only want to know me if they want something. What's wrong with me. How can I change this? Its really starting to affect my confidence, but its hard not having anyone there for me - not that I'm a depressing person, but it would be nice to know that I could have at least one person to talk to, instead of some website (that I am actually grateful I found) I don't know what I'm trying to ask here, I know I cant make people like me, but why do they seem so fake to me? Am I the fake person? I want to just get over myself, relax, but when I talk to people, they just seem disinterested. I just suck really.. A boring doormat. God there is so much negativity in this post ha.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Ok, what im getting from your post here is that your questioning yourself alot which is making me question if you are really the fake person here (not in a bad way) but maybe you feel so weak personality wise that your projecting it onto other people thinking that they can also see it and are thinking the worst of you.
If "anyone you asked would say your lovely" but your saying your not, then who's problem is that?? yours. What you need to do is not focus on what you've perceived as people being fake or thinking their being your friend for ill-legit reasons (because life isnt about what everyone else does but what you do with your own life) and start looking inward, reflecting, and working on yourself because your projecting onto others.
Whether your friends really are fake or not, also does not mean you have to be passive. If your being TOO passive and not voicing your true opinions then your being the fake friends because your saying one thing and doing another and thats not genuine. No one wants a fake friends (even if its one thats just very passive and agreeable for the sake of the friendship) its not fair to you or the other person.
and your RIGHT friendship IS a two way street and if their being what should be genuine with you and your not with them then what does that say about you??
You sound like you have very low self esteem, which you can change easily if you really wanted to. If you dont like your current friends then reach out to old ones that you used to know that were strong at the time and catch up! if they really still value you as a friend, then they will be friendly, and open and have no problem with you calling to say hello. real genuine people are like that.
a simple "heyy how have you been ive been thinking of you but have been busy" is usually more then enough for people. ; )
you should only have people in your life that care about you (for real) and not people who are only there to look out for themselves or have their own agenda. Real friends encourage you to better yourself and want to see you growing as a person and standing on your own two feet.
good luck
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