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Best Friend Mad - Help!!
This is long - sorry
So last night my best friend and I went to a concert together. We were drinking quite a bit and I got tired and overwhelmed by the crowd. About 30 minutes before the end of the show, I asked her a few times if she was ready to leave. She reacted REALLY angry and told me to leave without her. I was taken aback by her reaction - I think it was a bit overreacting. Well I wasn't about to leave her, especially since she was staying at my house that night. I went and sat outside the crowd, and told her where I was. I texted her to meet me whenever she was ready, no rush.
Well the concert ended and everyone cleared out - there was no sign of her. I called her and she said she couldn't find me so she was in a cab to the train station. I don't even think she looked for me, because I told her a distinct landmark that I was right in front of. But anyways, I got in a cab and followed to the train station.
Once I got there, I found her and gave her the ticket. She started yelling that I was being a bitch and I just apologized and asked her what I could do to make it better. She just walked away. She disappeared and did not sit with me on the train, and ended up sleeping at her ex boyfriend's house rather than mine. I texted her a long, sincere apology - no response. I haven't heard from her since.
Anyway, I think she should apologize for overreacting, but I know I will never get that out of her. We've been friends for 18 years and have had fights like this before. It always happens that everything is my fault and I'm a terrible friend, and she can do no wrong (not always true, of course).
I guess I just have to give her time? Any suggestions/comments/advice would be great! Even if you agree that I'm a bitch and deserve the anger :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you were a guy, I'd tell you to dump the cow without hesitation.
"She started yelling that I was being a bitch and I just apologized and asked her what I could do to make it better."
If you were a guy, I would explain to you that the medium is the message. If your g/f starts yelling at you in the middle of the mall, the message is not whatever it is she is saying, the message is "It's ok for me to yell at you in the middle of the mall".
But you're not a guy. The difference is that a guy is only really allowed to have one g/f at a time. So - are you allowed to have more than one friend at a time? Or does this person break it up the moment she notices you getting cosy with someone else?
Because if she does, you should take the advice I'd give to a guy in this situation.
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My initial feeling is that she over-reacted. You do later explain that she tends to be like this as the norm for her. So I am not surprised. If someone treated me like this consistantly I would never have hung around 18 years with them. But you must see something worthwhile in her to put up with the crap.
I know that depending, concert tickets have to be planned in advance and can be costly. So anyone investing money and time into going to a concert is going to want to get their entire moneys worth, not leave even a few minutes early. That makes sense to me. So for her to feel irritated that you even dared ask her to leave early is understandable and it was a wrong move on your part. If you were done with the listening or had a headache or whatever, then it would make sense that you wanted to sit out the remainder until the concert was over and she joins you. I am guessing at least one of you didn't have a working cell on you to be contacted afterwards. Planning to meet by a certain place was a good idea. But with a crowd of bodies leaving at once, it could easily have been hard to spot you. She could have waited somewhere until the majority of people were exited and gone and then found you. My guess is she was pissed from you even thinking to ask her to miss out on a part of the concert and did not try as hard as she could to locate you. This is one of those things that happen in life. Even if you had not asked her to leave early but just told her where to meet you after, you both still might have had trouble meeting up. I had the same happen at a summer concert outdoors I took my kids to and my oldest had her friend along and went to one of the buildings of the fairgrounds used just for the concert, to get autographs and the line was long. i had the two younger kids with me. Waited and waited at the designated meeting spot and after an hour got nervouse and went looking for them, had trouble getting back in, went to where autographing was done. the celebs gone, only a few people lingering and no sign of my daughter and friend. I panicked. Eventually they appeared at our designated spot and I lit in to them I'm sorry to say. I was now angry for all the extra time I had to sit around with her sisters waiting and they had no explanation saying they only went to get autographs. I should have been glad they were okay and not kidnapped. We are all human and something like this can understandly really make a person upset. Being that your friend is usually like this anyways and still friends with you after 18 years, my guess is once she gets over the anger she'll be all chummy again as long as you dont bring up the memory of it again. Just give her time.
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