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My best friends mother hates me
so I was with my bff then i was walking with her and then I wanted to use her phone but then I texted her aunt by accident It was meant to go to my other friend because we always did that kind of thing. I wrote some unacceptable things to her by accident and then my bffs aunt called her and then my bff was in trouble. Her aunt said she might not tell my bffs mum but my bffs other friend over heard and told my bffs mum. now she hates me and doesnt let me and my bff see eachother... i cried all the time i still do its been 1 day since it happened i dont know what to do!
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ahh man, you really flubbed up on this didnt you....well all's i can say is i have to agree with the other poster here. I have a young son and if i over heard or caught one of his friends encouraging or talking about something totally inappropriate i would be calling his parents and pulling the plug on the friendship immediately UNLESS his parent and/or ME TOO could speak with him about this.
Dont assume that if you go to say sorry that they will be mean to you, most parents understand that your young, you dont think before you speak, but that your taking the first step in saying that your ARE sorry for what you said. just THAT right there will show them that you learned from your mistake ON YOUR OWN and realized that it wasnt smart.
usually they will speak gently and kindly with you and talking like this or doing things like whatever it was you were saying can get you in trouble down the road in the future, and will take pitty on you and MAYBE allow the friendship to resume so long as they dont hear anything else bad going on.
let me tell you a little story that ive had with recently with a parent and one of my sons friends ok, and you tell me if you think this is ok or not. put yourself in my shoes as a mom with a young child so that you can understand this ok: One of my sons little friends has a bad habit of spitting (he learned it from his father who isnt around anymore and was nothing but a bad influence anyway) this child learned that it was OK to spit at people and throw shoes and food at people. My son had NO idea that it was acceptable to do these kinds of the things UNTIL he started hanging out with this child, and NOW i cant get him to stop it!
It very disrespectful and in our household NEVER acceptable at all.
Ive had to cut off the friendship because of it and i really didnt want to because the mother ive known since we were teenagers and i like her alot but she cant seem to get him to stop either.
Now tell me weather or not you would want your little one around another child who spits and throws food and shoes at people when they dont get their own way?? see?
you would probably cut things off right away and try to get them to stop doing that right??
ok well thats how the parent of your friend probably feels right now.....so what do you think the right thing would be to do here??
youve not only made your friends parents not like you but you now have a record in their minds that you do things that are unacceptable to them and you havent said your sorry yet either.
chances are the longer you wait the more time they will have to think about it and come to the decision that you ARE really a bad influence and that they dont want their kid around you EVER. so really the sooner you go back and try to smooth things over the better off youll be even if they still dont allow the friendship. youll have cleared your name and youll be able to say that you went over there asap and said you were sorry (if even you lie to them and say that the text was meant for someone else or you were talking about someone else or that someone else was using your phone) JUST SOME kind of explanation to show that your sorry they got that. just go clear your name NOW before its too late. then let things calm down for a while, give your friend some space, and then see how things go. once her parents calm down from all this they might just be ok with you again because you "came over and said you were sorry about it all soon after it happened"
if you have to have one of your parents call her mother and have THEM talk. sometimes when adults talk to each other things can work out for the better. you might be able to get your mom to convince her mom that you didnt mean what you said, that your mom spoke with you over all this, that your sorry, and that you "hope it doesnt effect the friendship any" because you ARE after all young and rash.
good luck and i hope it works out for you.
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Well, I hope you learned something, to really think twice before you ever say anything in person to someone, or put it in print in texts, emails or handwriting. Words can't be taken back once shared. Whatever you shared likely is due to you being very young, your brain not being at a mature adult state yet which wont happen until it finishes growing at your mid 20's or later. If you are already older, somewhere along the line, you failed to be serious about growing up and maturing and are going to really have to focus on it. Not saying you are a bad person. Heck when I was your age, I did stupid things, didn't think of the consequences and just made a snap decision or action but I didn't make many. I learned pretty quickly to watch my words and actions because what we do affects others.
All you can do is apologize to your friend, to her aunt and to her Mum, and say that you are very sorry, feel really bad about what you did, and realize that is was in bad taste, or rude or mean (whatever it was) and that you have no good reason for doing it other than you were hasty and immature and just not thinking. Own up to your mistakes. It might smooth things over with all or one, or perhaps none of them. But you can at least not go on in guilt for leaving this mess behind without trying to at least apologize. It still may not change the attitudes of any of the people towards you. Or it may take a very very long time for them to trust you with your friend again. thats what happens when trust is broken. Parents wants their kids to hang with friends who are good examples and influences to be around and depending on what you wrote, they may now beleive you to be a bad influence. And i cant fault any adult for feeling that way. I would react the same way when any so called friends did questionable or in bad taste things that involved my daughters. I even had to meet the parents first before allowing my kids to just go to a friends house. I was careful. So I will say, the feelings of the adults is a perfectly natural one. If you say nothing, you'll probably confirm even more to them that you are a bad example if you aren't sorry for what you did.
Yeah, I know, embarrassing and horribly uncomfortable and awkward to have to do this, but i highly suggest you do.
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