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Don't know how to feel


Question Posted Thursday May 21 2015, 9:43 pm

My dad and brother are always calling me fat. I got used to them calling me fat tho. But now at school most friends call me fat and always say I'm really heavy. When they call me fat I laugh it off and smile like it doesn't hurt but it really does. I'm 14 and weigh 118 lbs. I never saw my self as fat. My mom is saying I'm getting fatter. My jeans are getting tighter and tighter. And I feel like the more people call me fat the more I eat. I spend more than half an hour staring at myself everyday. And I feel like I'm getting bigger and bigger. I try to lose weight but I can't and that makes me feel worse. I don't know if I should let their opinions influence me.

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lightoftruth answered Saturday May 23 2015, 2:45 am:
It hurts when people say things like that to you. But you can't let it get to you. People don't realize how much of an effect their words have on people. It can cause girls to start having eating disorders and hate on themselves and their body.

I think you should talk to your friends at school and tell them how it's making you feel. They probably don't realize how much it hurts you.

I don't think you should lose weight for other people. I think people should lose weight and take care of themselves and their body for themselves and their health.

So if YOU want to, then you should. But you should do it in a healthy way. Don't start obsessing, but just strive to take better care of yourself. Like eating healthy and working out. I'm sure since you're 14, you're also going through puberty still so your body is changing. So just take care of yourself and don't let these people get to you.

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rainhorse68 answered Friday May 22 2015, 2:25 pm:
Don't let people teasing you hurt you. Dads and brothers are notorious for teasing in this respect. Mums less so, usually. If your mum is suggesting you might be putting on a bit too much weight, and you feel like you are yourself (this second one is the really important issue here, because it's how YOU feel about yourself) then maybe it's a call to get more in the shape you'd like to be? What you don't do is stare at yourself and get hung-up about. It's in your hands. If you don't really like the way you look, change it! OK...no silly starvation diets, or making yourself sick after meals. That's a bad path to embark on, sure you know all about these psychological eating disorders? You could take a look at what you're eating? Sugar-laden soft drinks, sweets, snacks, fast food and fries? All guranteed to put the weight on. Sticky sugar, saturated fats and empty carbs mate! Look at what's usually called a 'more healthy diet'. It's not just about the amount you eat, it's about giving some thought to WHAT you eat. And get a good exercise regime working. Doesn't have to be expensive gym membership. There's plenty of stuff you can do at home/out and about and needs no equipment. Books, lifestyle magazines and websites will give you all the info. You can 'target' bits of yourself you'd like to tone-up too. Good muscle tone is key to presenting a good, pleasing 'shape'. It's all very well saying it's your right to look how you want to. And nobody has the right to criticise etc. But if YOU really don't like the way you look, that's all pretty academicc isn't it? If you don't like a thing, change it. I'd certainly have no hesitation if saying that being fitter and not carrying needless weight makes one much more healthy. Eating more because you're upset about people suggesting you're fat is one of those psychological 'vicious circles' by the way. Eating does make us feel good, more comfortable and reassured mentally. You might have heard the idea called 'emotional eating' or 'comfort food'? Obviously, it's counter-productive in the long term, because it makes you put on more weight and attracts more teasing and perpetuates a personal negative-image. I guess the acid-test is if everyone (Dad, Mum, brother, other people) was magically silenced and forbidden to mention your weight, would YOU still want to be slimmer? Just for yourself? If so....you know what to do.

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anon111 answered Friday May 22 2015, 10:39 am:
Honestly i wouldn't listen to what they say about you. your beautiful just the way you are no matter what your size is. it can be just a faze, if not then who cares. I here people make fun of others for there size every single day and it isnt worth hurting yourself over. keep your head up darling because your beautiful just the way you are and you deserve to show off your smile :)

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missundersmock answered Friday May 22 2015, 2:09 am:
You should not let them, have total influence over you. It is of course natural to consider other people in your decision making in life and thats OK, whats NOT ok is your family members doing it.

Also how tall are you? at 14 i was about 130, but i was also 5'9 at the time (and still am lol)

Also you CAN lose weight. you have to really want it though and you have to start slow by maybe making the conscious decision to one day maybe choose something healthier to eat one day for a meal during the course of a week, then slowly move up choosing to eat something more healthy twice a week, then three times a week. Youll get yourself into a habit of eating healthier things, and before you know it youll have cravings for those things too. Pick things that TASTE GOOD but are still good for you. If you need me to elaberate on this you can hit me up in my inbox, i actually got my husband and i on diets and we now BOTH just lean towards healthier things now rather then junk and we LIKE IT that way. ; )

Hearing people out is one thing, but you need to try not to take it all very personally. They may see you as a stronger person and think that maybe you can handle what their saying when you cant all the time. Just tell them "look your not helping ok"

you can also try taking a short walk once a week, just anytime during the week you want to do it, doesnt matter when or where. but it DOES help. it slowly get your body to build up energy, youll sleep better at night as well.

good luck ; )

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