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What should I do about my dad threatening to kill my mom?
My dad and my mom have always had a ton of problems in their marriage. He's an addict and has never been a good father to all 4 of us kids. He's barley even acknowledged that were his. He lives in our house but he's just a stranger to me. He and my mom have gotten into horrible screaming fights and he's even gotten physical before. He's tried to choke her many times. Just today he threw her across the room and threatend " if you ever take me to court or try to get a divorce I will crush you and kill you". He's also bipolar and has anger issues which is why I'm terrified that he will just snap one day and get angry enough to kill her. He also said that if she tried for a divorce he would fight her 10x harder and win custody. I'm not sure what to do or what my mom should do. Even if she gets a restraining order or a divorce there is no doubt in my mind that he will find her and kill her or at the very least hurt her badly. All I want in life is to get away from him and for my mom to too. But I just don't think that's ever ganna be a possibility. Any advice would be appreciated at this point. Thank you
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missundersmock advice is very good. You may feel it safer to call from school or the home of the friend. You MUST CALL THE POLICE for the safety of your mother and you and your siblings. If you call from the school or wish to call from school there is a support team in place to protect you. Go to the principal and tell him or her what is happening at home and that you are scared. Ask for the police to be called to the school so you can tell them and make a report. The principal must take you seriously and call the police for you as well as child protective services (CPS).
After you have spoken with the police call an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network; they will help you find a safe place for you, your mother and your siblings. Someplace where your father cannot find you or get to you. You are safe in school as the staff will not allow him to harm you or get to you while in school.
As for dad gaining custody of you and your siblings; there is no Judge in this world that would give custody to a bipolar manic depressive addicted parent so stop working on that threat, it just won't happen.
When the police and CPS come to school tell them exactly what happens at home and how often. answer their questions as completely as possible. If you don't know an answer say so. CPS is there to see to your safety and well being as well as your siblings. The Police will look out for you mothers well being.
You father will most likely be arrested and spend at least one night in jail. Use this time to help mom find a safe place for you, your siblings and her to get to so when dad is released he can't get to you and harm her.
Good luck and I'm sorry you have to be the strong one for you mother. No child should have to put in a position to protect a parent. From what you write this is something you must do.
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Ok that is absolutely domestic violence and its up to you to pick up the phone and call the police NOW. Do not wait, tell them what happened and end this.
You dad may be able to try to win custody but he wont i can promise you that right now. If hes bipolar, abusive, and does not have a suitable place to keep four kids then theres nooooo way in hell he will be awarded custody of any of you.
Your mom will win, youll be placed with family or someone else who can take care of you until your mom is ok and theyve checked her out, and the police may even move you all to a "safe location" that he doesnt know about where youll have an unlisted address and phone number so no one can find you unless you tell him or someone he knows about where you are. So dont take what your father says as a reason to NOT do it.
There are plenty of programs in place for victims and family members of victims to hide and get away if need be.
i dont know what state your in but theres places that will house, feed, and help you all secretly get away. Here in san diego cal. where im from theres a place called "beckys place" its a secure location for women and their familys to stay at AFTER the cops have stopped being involved and does everything they can to help your mother start over with you guys WITHOUT your fathers interference.
so just CALL NOW ok. Your mom isnt strong enough to leave him obviously so you need to take the first step for her. she will thank you for it later.
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You need to call the cops right away, this is abuse! If he's doing real harm then you need to put an end to this once and for all.
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